Chakel Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 My fiancee and I have been together for 4 years engaged for about 5 months. Lately everything he does drives me nuts! we fight prettymuch every day over the dumbest things. Lately we have mainly been fighting over having a baby, it means the world to me to have a child, we have the financial resourses, space,time, and love for a child (we rarely fought before this subject came up) but he just wont. I almost feel like I resent h im for not wanting to have a baby with me and i think on some level that may be why im picking a fight with him. Anyone have any insight to my problem? any help would be appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
slinkysu Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 fighting with your fiance is perfectly normal. sometimes i think the worse thing you can do for a relationship is get engaged just because there is so much pressure and stress on over what is thought to be a magical experience. It's perfectly normal to row during this time so don't worry on that front. However i would say that you need to clear up the baby issue fast. If he isn't willing to have a family and you really want one then you need to decide whether your love for him outweighs your desire to have a family. If he isn't ready just yet, then ask him when he will be. Don't think you can marry him and force him into having kids, because that isn't fair. You both need to want to have a family and if he doesn't and it is of vital importance to you, then you need to re-think your engagement. If he just wants to wait a while then unless there is a pressing reason (i.e. age or health) i'd wait a little while and enjoy married life for a year or two. This is a stressful time and he may not want to add to that stress and pressure and want to enjoy life with having just a wife before the duty of kids comes along. Sit down and discuss it rationally with him - don't shout, accuse or argue - just ask when he would like kids, and if the answer is never then you have to decide whether you wish to have a barren marriage or find a guy who does want a family with you. Link to post Share on other sites
pinkprincess Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 i think its pretty normal.. it's just a test since you are getting married. Link to post Share on other sites
bab Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 slinysu is right on. Planning your life together is stressful, and a few more fights is normal. But this kid thing is a serious deal. First off, if your bf just wants to wait, then I think he's got the right idea. Enjoy being husband and wife for at least a year before bringing a kid into the mix. On the other hand, if he just doesn't want kids, this could be a deal breaker for your marriage. Work it out before hand. Link to post Share on other sites
tikigods Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 you need to figure out if he wants to wait, or if he never wants them. If never then you need to figure out if that you can never have a child, if he wants to wait then I suggest you do so so you can enjoy being married before its taken from you Either way talk to him about it this needs to be figured out BEFORE you get married or brng a child that isn't wanted by both parties in the world Link to post Share on other sites
gig Posted August 9, 2006 Share Posted August 9, 2006 Hi there I had the exact same problem!! I was only engaged for 3 1/2 months and since that time we started fighting about everything even the stupidest things! MY Now Husband even got mad because in the invitations my name was first and he didnt believe me that the brides name goes first. We almoust called off the wedding, but you have to chill down think of how much you want this day to come and be very happy, you have to bee very strong and put up alot till the wedding. Just think that this is alot of pressure and it will soon be gone! Best wishes and Congrats!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
penkitten Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 patience. you have so much going on and so many worries you are taking them out on each other. plan your wedding and honeymoon first. after that, then sit down and talk about the babies to come and decide from there. if you throw it all up in the air, its hard to pick which ball to catch first. this is probally scaring your fiance a little, and hes worried about how to do it all at once. maybe he wants to have his wife to his self for a while before the babies start arriving. patience, breathe deep breaths and remember that you are getting a little jittery. good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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