Suspicious? Cheating?

[Guest]

I am a suspicious type of person..afraid of being cheated on..so i tend to look for advice to see if i am overthinking things, overreacting, and just plain being paranoid.

 

My b/f and i of a year are on the verge of breaking up but we were talking and i said so i guess you dont wanna see me and he says i guess in a sarcastic way..i text message him not too long after we spoke..around 4 pm asking why he guesses its ok..just wanted to see his response--no answer which is fine..i text again around 4:50 i think it was asking well? Didnt think it would be a big deal--he calls me not too long after and i say can i call u back in 2 minutes(i was at work) and he says actually can i call you back? i was calling to tell you i couldn't respond to those texts--i have someone in the truck and didnt want to get into anything personal..i said who are you with and he says a guy from work, he lives not too far from here so i am driving him home(my b/f has a work truck--fixes things so he is able to drive around)..he said he was outside his truck and the guy is inside--in my head i am thinking--Why the hell can't he talk to me in front of this person if it was a guy?? I said so i can't call you back? and he was just like fine you can call me.

 

I do call him back like 3 minutes later--no answer, i'm sorry but i am really freaking out at this point thinking he was with a girl--maybe not cheating necessarily but lying to me that it was a guy--and he didnt wanna pick up in front of her..i call again..he picks up the 3rd time i call and is angry--and he says any normal person would say ok i will just talk to you in a little bit and he says now he is speaking in front of the guy saying this isn't a friend of mine, i'm just driving him home--obviously i dont know if he was saying this in front of the guy--he could have gotten out again to speak to me. I just say whatever and hang up..i call him about 20-25 minutes later and he is getting out of the garage to leave work and says he was just about to call me--he says what is it that just happened--whats the big deal with saying i can't talk, i will call you back..and

of course i said--i thought it was weird how you couldnt speak in front of this guy and had to get out of your truck--and i said and then you ignore my calls..and he said he got pissed that i was saying i can't call you back?--and he didnt sound so mad when said fine..but my b/f was like--what am i gonna say at that point...and basically my b/f said--so now i am doing something in my truck-what do you think i am doing?---he said he hardly knows the guy, he wasn't working (but i'm assuming they saw each other and starting talking and decided to drive him home...)

At this point my b/f said i can't do this anymore--i thought things would get better but its not--at this point i basically had to stop him and say sorry for the accusation and just let it go.

 

The thing is although i will not mention it to him again b/c we would break up if i did---Does it sound like he was up to something or since after this he was really ready to break up, maybe it was nothing?

Am i reading too much into this? One friend says it sounds really strange how he couldnt talk in front of the person and had to go outside his truck..and another said wouldn't he just put his cell on silent and not even answer ur calls..assuming he did run into some girl and decided to drive her home or spend time with her, wouldn't he turn the cell on silent? I really thought this was strange how it was a guy that wasn't even his friend but he can't take 30 seconds to respond to a text in front of him or anything..My b/f and i also got off the phone at 3:30 or so..i text him at 4--and when we got off the phone he said he would get something to eat--now i am assuming that since he didn respond to that text since 4 when i sent it--that he was out to lunch with her or something...Please help me!!

[ash8752]

Ok, first off, take a deep breath!!!

 

We dont know what your bf was really up to but his excuse is quite legit. He was with some guy he hardly knows and you call. You two arent exactly doing great and he knew you were calling most likely to say " so you dont want to see me?" which could either be an arguement or something leading to being mushy i guess. Men dont want other men hearing something like that, he just didnt want to argue with you in front of someone. Totally understandable. It's like him calling you at work and someone standing near by, you dont want your co-workers hearing an arguement.

 

I am very insecure as well, and I have some baggage and my bf and i have been going through a bunch too. I know how you feel. My insecurities make me suspicious. I am really working on my problems though! I love him too much and he has never cheated on me or even wanted to and i know this.

 

Has your bf ever cheated on you? Has he ever done anything to give you real reason to believe he has? If not, then maybe you should work on you insecurities because these situations will push a guy away regardless of love!

[blind_otter]

I really thought this was strange how it was a guy that wasn't even his friend but he can't take 30 seconds to respond to a text in front of him or anything..!

 

Um, his excuse was legitamate. I personally don't feel comfortable with personal communications at work, MOST especially when someone I'm dating is bitching at me. I never answer those phone calls.

 

But the fact that he was in front of a stranger that he didn't know, well its makes sense to me. I don't want to share personal communications in front of someone I don't know. Period end of story.

 

Chill out. Work on your self confidence and making your life fulfilling. The suspicious tendencies will wear off if you use your energy for something productive.

[megnog]

yeah,

my bet is he was not lying

he was not cheating

and that it was good of you to just drop it, apologize, and get on with it. its not worth breaking up over and /or stressing out about.

[No Stress Lady]

If you don't start dealing with your jealousy issues he will most definitely leave you.

 

His comment that he "can't do this anymore" should have made this perfectly obvious to you.

[Guest]

The way i thought about it was---he called me a little after 3--and then from 4 til about 6:00--he was not able to answer a text and speak to me at 5:00--and when i spoke to him when he called at 3 or so he said he did not get lunch yet and was going to...i really got to thinking that maybe he went to lunch with another girl and then drove her home..am i being paranoid about thinking that? i have read everyone's responses and it seems like it is..just wanted thoughts on this particular thought i had..havent brought it up to him since..completely dropped it but still wondering why he couldnt respond at all when he said it was an easy day and had pretty much nothing to do..he couldnt respond over his lunch to a text?