megnog Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 hi all i have a dilemma that i have been faced with shortly after i began my relationship with my current boyfriend two years ago. its not like i was ever an extreme party girl, but i did enjoy going out with friends and drinking and having a good time. i met my boyfriend, chris, and a few months into the relationship we started to get semi-serious and both of us didn't really like that we would go out - me to parties, him to bars/parties. so he stopped. it took me a while to stop but now i feel as if i don't go out at all and if i ever do he gets upset and decides hes going to go out. i guess it only makes sense but i'm also really insecure and i feel like there are so many better women out there for him than me. nontheless, i know if i'm going to go out and he wants to - i can't really stand in his way, so i don't. anyway, i'm getting a bit off subject. my question is.. should i give up going out and partying for this relationship? i've been so confused because i miss that part of my life but at the same time i feel like he could be the one and i don't want to lose him. sometimes though i feel like i'm too young to be thinking hes the one and wanting to settle down (i'm only 19) i feel like my partying days should just be beginning. hell, when i turn 21 i planned to hit up every bar in town but its going to be hard if i have a serious relationship. i guess i'm making it sound like choosing one or the other and i guess thats not the case but i feel like it is. because whenever we have tried going out together (which doesn't happen often) something goes wrong. last time we went out to his friends party (a long time ago) he ignored me and left me to play cards with a bunch of girls. of course, this didn't make me ever want to go out with him again. i suppose i should have intervened at some point but i just sat back and pretty much sulked. i'm really a shy person ESPECIALLY when it comes to boyfriends friends. i feel like i have to impress them or make them like me. so i don't say a damn word. which of course leaves me out everytime. plus he doesn't like me going out alone because i have female friends that he hates and then male friends i don't know, i feel like i'm rambling. i guess i'm just looking for some kind of advice as to whether i should go out and enjoy being young or give it up for something that could be more fulfilling in the end. i can try mixing the two since i can figure that would be the obvious advice but sometimes i feel like its not really an option of mine... help?? Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 It depends on what your definition of "enjoy being young" means. Some people have this idea that to get everything out of life and experience new things, that translates into sleeping around, as if that fulfills anything. Love can happen at any age, if you're willing to sacrifice it just to go party, well then it isnt real love. I dont understand how it would be hard to hit up every bar in town when youre 21 if you have a bf, again unless that translates into hit up every bar and sleep with random people, why couldnt he just..i dont know..come with you? Also do you go out to parties with these male friends? thats a no no At the same token, he shouldnt be bringing you along with his friends then ditching you to play cards with other chicks. As I said, it depends on your definition of party. If that means just hanging out with your friends and drinking and having a good time, then I dont see why you couldnt continue it with him there, but if it means hooking up with random guys then just dump him. Link to post Share on other sites
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