Guest Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 Hey guys, I am confused about something and would like to get a third party perspective. Yesterday was my birthday and one of my close friends (a girl) did not wish me The real confusion is this. A month ago she had purchased tickets to a show for both of us and I wanted to pay my share. She said I don't have to pay because she is giving it as a gift for my birthday coming up in July. I insisted in paying because the tickets were expensive ($115). But she said "It's okay you have paid for a lot of things that I was not actually interested in". I got upset when I heard that as it looked more like she was trying to settle scores and breakeven. Now I am feeling upset because of the following two reasons: 1) She sees me as one of her close/best friends. Yet I did not hear from her yesterday (my birthday). 2) Today she had sent me an email and asked whether we could meet up for coffee and small chat. Again no wishes. She had completely forgotten about it I guess. I replied back and during the email exchanges I casually mentioned that my friends took me out to celebrate my birthday. So now she knew but guess what? There was no reply from her after that. The email exchange was today morning. She had the whole day and yet no reply. I am confused as to how exactly I should react now. Honestly I don't even feel like going to the show. What use is a gift when its not accompanied by a simple wish? Most importantly what use is it when she chose to remain silent after knowing that she missed my birthday? Please advise Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 No need to jump to negative conclusions. If she's been a good friend to you for a while, give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she has a surprise for you? I wouldn't get bent out of shape if one of my friends forgot the specific day, or whatever. People have busy lives, and I know they wish me well by their actions in the friendship on a regular basis. True friendship doesn't stand or fall by missed birthday wishes...happy belated birthday is good, too. Why do you think this is bothering you so much? Do you have similar expectations of all your other friends? Did they all wish you a happy birthday right on the day? Maybe you feel she's not really a close friend and this is just one more sign? Maybe you're upset because you like her as more than a friend and were hoping for a special birthday with her? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 No need to jump to negative conclusions. If she's been a good friend to you for a while, give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she has a surprise for you? I wouldn't get bent out of shape if one of my friends forgot the specific day, or whatever. People have busy lives, and I know they wish me well by their actions in the friendship on a regular basis. True friendship doesn't stand or fall by missed birthday wishes...happy belated birthday is good, too. Why do you think this is bothering you so much? Do you have similar expectations of all your other friends? Did they all wish you a happy birthday right on the day? Maybe you feel she's not really a close friend and this is just one more sign? Maybe you're upset because you like her as more than a friend and were hoping for a special birthday with her? Thanks Norajane Normally I would not feel very upset if a friend misses my birthday. But I feel upset in this particular situation because of the following 2 reasons: 1) She says that I am one of her closest friends 2) Forgetting to wish is fine but she kept quiet after learning that she missed my birthday. I find this unusual. Link to post Share on other sites
BUTAFLY Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 I am no longer a friend to a close gf after a similar situation. We had made plans to party it up on my b-day night (in July also.) That morning we were at a bookstore reading and drinking our coffee when I got a phone call from a guy friend who wished me a happy b-day. He was hanging out with a buddy of his who my gf happend to have a crush on. I told my guy friend that she was dying in the seat next to me because her crush was their w/him. He gave me his phone number - I in turn gave it to my friend. We parted ways with plans to meet up later that night. She called me to cancel, she ended up calling her crush and they hit it off and she wanted to go out with him instead because he was going on vacation the next day. I was like WTF!!. we never talked since that day last July. I dout If i will get a happy b-day call from her. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 Maybe you're upset because you like her as more than a friend and That's the way it seems to me. Link to post Share on other sites
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