HERE WE GO AGAIN!

[Lost4Words]

Well, the last time I was on this site, I left of where I told my ex that it's best that she doesn't call me anymore or have any contact. So what pops up today? HER!!!!

 

She called from my work ( Her old job )! I was so upset but didn't want to tell her where to go so we chatted. It was the usual conversation: How r ya? How's work? Blah! Blah! Blah! Anyway, she asked me if I wanted to meet her so she could give me a Christmas gift. I was like, WHY? She said she wanted to get me one! I told her that she shouldn't have and that if she wanted to give it to me, just mail it! She was really upset from what I said! But hold on there now, If I remembered correctly, she's the one who said that it's not a good idea to see each other because I was too emotional (That was 4-5 weeks back)! I'll admit that it would hurt to see her but who wouldn't after giving so much into a relationship only for it to be taken away! So she stopped talking for a bit but started up again. This time was the kicker! The reason why my ex broke up with me wasn't because I was jealous but really she was interested in someone else. She didn't want to tell me that because it would hurt me too much. Now when we were together and all this B/S was happening, she told me that he was just a friend and that I was jumping in conclusions! What a bunch of crock! I had a bad feeling about it and I was right. It's was like Deja Vu!! After she told me that, I couldn't talk to her anymore! I cut her off from finishing her sentence and said goodbye! She called back and asked what was wrong with me? "What's wrong with me?" "What the hell is wrong with this picture?" "All along I thought I was maybe being too judgemental but everything you told me were lies!" She became very defensive but I didn't care anymore. I told her that what you did is unforgiveable and "What goes around, comes around!" Then I hung up! The nerve of her!! Calling me up to meet and give me a gift and when I declined, she comes around with a right hook! I'm so badly hurt but really really PISSED! What did I do to deserve this! Was I too blind by love to see this coming? How would I ever trust the opposite sex after this!!!Any thoughts or comments would be appreciated!

[Tony T]

Many people break up with a partner because they become interested in someone else. That seems to me to be a pretty good reason to break up. It doesn't do either person any good if one of them wants to pursue someone else. I also think while it may be dishonest, giving a reason for leaving other than wanting to pursue someone else is a way of sparing the other's feelings, just as your ex told you.

 

YOU are the one who took this call and instead of hanging up on her you continued talking. It had been your policy to avoid her and that was a good policy and worked well. You violated your own rules and therefore you should take some responsibility.

 

I don't think her revelation is any reason not to ever trust the opposite sex again. Every day of the year, thousands of ladies leave one guy for another and give another reason. Guys do the same thing to see other ladies. But it isn't every day that a guy who has gotten screwed over will take a call from an ex about some lame Christmas present and draw it out as far as you did.

 

I think you made way too much of this. Don't accept any gifts from her and don't talk to her anymore. She will not be a good friend for you at this time.

[Ed]

Congratulations! Welcome to world of free, sane people. You should change your alias. You had plenty to say at the right time AND you knew when to cut it off.

 

It's unfortunate that you were jerked around by this slacker. Be mad! Be hurt! Be pissed! It will all pass. Believe it or not, you have gained a great deal of knowledge and respect for yourself through all this. This experience will be invaluable to you in the future.

 

All women are not this way. In time you will heal from this and the desire for a mate will return.

 

I think you deserve an A for the semester.

[arthropod98]

GOOD . . . you're pissed now, that's where you SHOULD be with this!! i know anger was the one emotion that really helped me get over someone who crushed me.

 

BUT, you can't (and probably won't) let this make you distrust EVERY woman. file it away, don't forget it, just let it be one of the THOUSANDS of "lessons" you learn from relationships.

 

glad that you told her what you feel . . . feels pretty damn good, huh??

 

p.s. return that gift if she actually sends it -- don't even OPEN it!

Well, the last time I was on this site, I left of where I told my ex that it's best that she doesn't call me anymore or have any contact. So what pops up today? HER!!!! She called from my work ( Her old job )! I was so upset but didn't want to tell her where to go so we chatted. It was the usual conversation: How r ya? How's work? Blah! Blah! Blah! Anyway, she asked me if I wanted to meet her so she could give me a Christmas gift. I was like, WHY? She said she wanted to get me one! I told her that she shouldn't have and that if she wanted to give it to me, just mail it! She was really upset from what I said! But hold on there now, If I remembered correctly, she's the one who said that it's not a good idea to see each other because I was too emotional (That was 4-5 weeks back)! I'll admit that it would hurt to see her but who wouldn't after giving so much into a relationship only for it to be taken away! So she stopped talking for a bit but started up again. This time was the kicker! The reason why my ex broke up with me wasn't because I was jealous but really she was interested in someone else. She didn't want to tell me that because it would hurt me too much. Now when we were together and all this B/S was happening, she told me that he was just a friend and that I was jumping in conclusions! What a bunch of crock! I had a bad feeling about it and I was right. It's was like Deja Vu!! After she told me that, I couldn't talk to her anymore! I cut her off from finishing her sentence and said goodbye! She called back and asked what was wrong with me? "What's wrong with me?" "What the hell is wrong with this picture?" "All along I thought I was maybe being too judgemental but everything you told me were lies!" She became very defensive but I didn't care anymore. I told her that what you did is unforgiveable and "What goes around, comes around!" Then I hung up! The nerve of her!! Calling me up to meet and give me a gift and when I declined, she comes around with a right hook! I'm so badly hurt but really really PISSED! What did I do to deserve this! Was I too blind by love to see this coming? How would I ever trust the opposite sex after this!!!Any thoughts or comments would be appreciated!

[Lola]

She doesn't want you any more, but she doesn't want you to be with anyone else. I played that game for a while with a guy. I feel guilty about it now, but I was only 21 and at the time it seemed like a good idea. Call it a back up plan. Women can be very coniving, yes. Most of us grow out of it and realize that truth is the best policy.

 

I hope that you would never get back with this woman again. You would never be able to trust her. Very important in a relationship.

 

As far as other women go... some good, some bad. You learn from all your experiences. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason and everything works out the way it is supposed to. Makes life much less stressful.

 

Good luck. Take a break from dating for a while.