I literally have 0 friends...

[Guest]

I just realized that I don't have any "real" friends. Sure, I know some people that I talk to online often and once in a while on the pone... but nobody to really go out with or anything. It's really pathetic... all I do is sit in my room on the computer or watching TV, the only people that call me are family members. I have come to a dead end and I don't know what to do. I almost never leave the house, I don't have anywhere to go or anyone to go anywhere with. I don't know what to do. Am I hopeless?

[Guest]

I just realized that I don't have any "real" friends. Sure, I know some people that I talk to online often and once in a while on the pone... but nobody to really go out with or anything. It's really pathetic... all I do is sit in my room on the computer or watching TV, the only people that call me are family members. I have come to a dead end and I don't know what to do. I almost never leave the house, I don't have anywhere to go or anyone to go anywhere with. I don't know what to do. Am I hopeless?

 

LOL.. at least YOU have Family members calling you. My phone NEVER rings. Unless it's a wrong number!!! However, I have gotten so used to it that It's weird if my phone rings!! Best of luck to you!

[---]

you just need to organise something to do with people instead of waiting around for someone to call you. Find parties that a few people you know are going to and go with them. Do that a few times and you'll have people calling you and asking to go see a movie or something in no time.

[NightsInWhiteSatin]

I just realized that I don't have any "real" friends. Sure, I know some people that I talk to online often and once in a while on the pone... but nobody to really go out with or anything. It's really pathetic... all I do is sit in my room on the computer or watching TV, the only people that call me are family members. I have come to a dead end and I don't know what to do. I almost never leave the house, I don't have anywhere to go or anyone to go anywhere with. I don't know what to do. Am I hopeless?

 

I'm exactly the same, sucks doesn't it....

Try getting a job where you're interacting with lots of ppl...befriend collegues etc...

[magichands]

It's really pathetic... all I do is sit in my room on the computer or watching TV, the only people that call me are family members. I have come to a dead end and I don't know what to do. I almost never leave the house, I don't have anywhere to go or anyone to go anywhere with.

 

I feel really sorry for you. Actually I don't - because I'm too busy feeling sorry for myself.

 

I totally understand how you feel, though. Totally.

 

And I'll tell you what a little voice tells me - the probability of meeting someone interesting if you don't go outside and make an effort is almost zero.

 

If you show your face to the world, then at least you have more than a lottery ticket. Good luck.

[Outcast]

Join clubs. Take up hobbies. Volunteer. Go to free events in your town. You certainly won't meet people if you stay in your house!

[YellowLioness]

Recently, I moved to a new state with a new job. Talk about being friendless. I know NO ONE here. I don't have the option of calling old friends from highschool, college or even family for that matter.

 

My suggestion is get involved in an activity. After 6 months in a new place, I'm finally meeting peoplel through company activities.

 

If you reach out, people will respond. Often, they're more understanding then you think.

[kimba]

You say that you do talk to people once in a while on the phone. What do you talk about? Why don't you ask them to go and see a movie , or go out for a drink or something. Chances are, that these people that you speak to are waiting for you to suggest something to do and when you don't they must think that you don't need friends.

 

Maybe you could leave the computer for a bit and try and socialise or meet some of these people you talk with online.

 

You obviously really want to make friends and thats the first step. Good luck with it - its really not as hard as it seems. Just make the move with one person - you don't need to make 20 friends or anything.

[Jenny317]

You're not going too meet anyone in your house. I'm home a lot too because my friends live like. 30 minutes from me. You should just like.. iono... Go up to someone that isn't talking too anyone and start a random conversation with them. It usually works. Because that person might be in the same thing as you are in.

[Guest]

you just need to organise something to do with people instead of waiting around for someone to call you. Find parties that a few people you know are going to and go with them. Do that a few times and you'll have people calling you and asking to go see a movie or something in no time.

 

 

Believe me, I've tried EVERYTHING... Parties, Clubs, Bars, Pubs, Work, Groups.... I'm an easy going fun guy and told I'm cute, but for some reason my phone remains a non-ringing phone. I don't stink, I work, I drive my own car.. I just don't get it!!!!

[Tony T]

Believe me, I've tried EVERYTHING... Parties, Clubs, Bars, Pubs, Work, Groups.... I'm an easy going fun guy and told I'm cute, but for some reason my phone remains a non-ringing phone. I don't stink, I work, I drive my own car.. I just don't get it!!!!

 

That's precisely your problem. If you just sit back and wait for your phone to ring that simply isn't going to happen. YOU have to make things happen. I unconditionally guarantee that if you get out and make the first move toward friendship with everybody, the clerk at the store, the people at the gas station, the ticket taker at the theatre, the people waiting in line at the bank...wherever...you will have friends coming out the ear.

 

Get their numbers and call them...they're probably exactly like you...waiting for their phone to ring instead of making the first move.

[westernxer]

I just realized that I don't have any "real" friends.

 

Welcome to adulthood.

[SC]

I'm exactly the same, sucks doesn't it....

Try getting a job where you're interacting with lots of ppl...befriend collegues etc...

 

I felt the same not so long ago, but I have a shread of confidence now that I didnt have before where I can make friends.

 

I moved to a new area, took me ages to know people, the best thing I did tho was to get a part time job as well as my full time working in a bar. I've met lots of people there, they're really nice and when you keep yourself busy, you're not in your room feeling sorry for yourself. It's happened for me, i'm sure it can happen for you. Just make sure it's the 'right' type of bar for you (i.e. somewhere you'd go).

[VonDutch]

Well, Im the same. Ive no friends left. Im in college, in my 4th year, and just cant seem to meet people I like. Im on my own 5 days of the week, only my mother and my boyfriend phone. The biggest crack of all, is that my boyfriend of nearly 9 months doesnt know Ive no friends. Ive invented some girls, had him meet about 5 different people (people I worked with on a project, but afterwards, never heard from again). He thinks they are my friends. My boyfriend has a big friend-group, and he is very close to them. I keep inventing stories when he calls me or whatever when he is out with his friends: to tell him Ive got NO ONE to go ANYWHERE with on ANY day of the week, is too much for me. Im embarresed. I hate lying to him about this. I hate not having anyone to talk to. I hate not being able to go out and party on the weekend, except for with my boyfriend and his friends. I ab so ffff ing lutly hate my life at the moment. Sorry for my ranting... VD

[Guest]

I felt the same not so long ago, but I have a shread of confidence now that I didnt have before where I can make friends.

 

I moved to a new area, took me ages to know people, the best thing I did tho was to get a part time job as well as my full time working in a bar. I've met lots of people there, they're really nice and when you keep yourself busy, you're not in your room feeling sorry for yourself. It's happened for me, i'm sure it can happen for you. Just make sure it's the 'right' type of bar for you (i.e. somewhere you'd go).

 

I'm not even old enough to get into a bar.

 

All these ideas seem like they will work, but are far easier said than done. Most people have no idea what it's like to be in my position and have no idea how hard it is to approach someone and start talking.

[sugarplum]

Obviously you are not outgoing at all. Don't sweat it, neither am I. I have a really hard time making friends. Most people who don't know me think I am a bi*ch because I am not waltzing up to them with a fake smile plastered on my face saying "heeeee-aaay" while swiveling my head all over. Its just not me. I prefer true friends I can really talk to rather than just anybody I can go out with when they happen to have time for me. If that means less friends, oh well. Don't put the pressure on yourself. And don't depend on the friendships of others to improve your life. Try to be more outgoing, and maybe suggest going out with an acquaintance.

 

I live in a house with 6 other people and no one hardly talks to me! They just don't know what they are missing.

[BirchBaby]

I'm not even old enough to get into a bar.

 

All these ideas seem like they will work, but are far easier said than done. Most people have no idea what it's like to be in my position and have no idea how hard it is to approach someone and start talking.

 

so just find someone that seems interesting and begin talking to them. This will be easier when you're in a group of people in the same boat- all starting the same dance class, all crammed on the same train, all enjoying the same concert...

 

I'd suggest approaching one person first and then, if you are both compatible, you'll grow into a group of 2 and hopefully your networking will begin. Strength in numbers!

 

(Mind you, I too am wary of approaching ppl. I too spend a great deal of my time sitting at home, but I say that's much of my own fault. I've befriended people in my new city but haven't put much effort into meeting up with them on a regular or occassional basis. So, in my case, the lack of phone calls is due to my lack of effort. But, I tend to prefer my solitude so, works for me! I usually have to froce myself to go out and do stuff for the sake of mental health. )

 

Anyway, just remember that people talking about themselves. **Most people will be flattered that someone's taking an interest in them (when your intentions are clear).**

 

Good luck!

[Salsa_Dancer]

Hi there,

 

Seriously, you should think about taking ballroom (or Salsa or Swing) dance lessons.

 

I know many people from my dance classes that I would condsider friends.

 

And yes, it can be intimidating going into a dance calss for the first time because you might feel like you are the worst dancer in the world. But even in you DON'T start making friends right away, you will still get a lot out of it. You will start getting more self confidence in life in general as you become a better dancer, and you will learn to "look like a dancer," meaning you will have better poise and posture. This will translate into feeling more attractive to yourself and appearing more attractive about other people.

 

Let us know how it goes. And remember, the first step is ALWAYS the hardest.

[monkey00]

you just need to organise something to do with people instead of waiting around for someone to call you. Find parties that a few people you know are going to and go with them. Do that a few times and you'll have people calling you and asking to go see a movie or something in no time.

 

This is where i agree. A few of my friends sit around the house waiting for a phone call to go out, they're just sitting at the comp or watching tv or sleeping. the majority of the time i wind up being the initiator calling them up to do things....and if they dont want too well that's tough, but friends will generally say yes if its osmething within their comfort zone. a couple weeks ago i initiated/organized a get together of some old buddies from way back, and we hung out...i probably wont hear from them for awhile again but who knows.

 

But i also know sometimes organizing something to do with a group of people or person may not be easy. Often times people are afraid to leave their comfort zone and make excuses to do something.

 

i cant blame you for having little/no friends. i'vebeen in a similar situation myself as of late. my early years of college people are usually calling me up to do things, they and i were very proactive. now my last year in college, the phone hardly rings. it seems to be a common trend among people, the older they get, the less socially active they become.

 

Easier said than done. But you just have to be social and talk to people, find their interests and common ground and initiate something to do...cant wait all day long for your phone to ring can you?

[Walk]

Most people have no idea what it's like to be in my position and have no idea how hard it is to approach someone and start talking.

 

You're wrong on this. I know how hard it is, and I am one of the most anti-social people I know.

 

However, I had to realize that if I wanted friends, or even an acquaintance to hang out with on occasion, then I had to ask them to. SHOW that you want to get to know them. Most people respond well to an invitation.

 

I come off as rather distant. I realize this, so I try harder to initiate the meetings and contact the person.

 

I think you're afraid of rejection, so you avoid asking other people to join you. You probably have a tendency to come off as rather distant and unapproachable because you're attempting to protect yourself. Every one has the same fears. Just remember... most poeple fear rejection too. They don't want to be embarresed either. They aren't going to bite you, or hit you for asking though.

 

Anyway, I have very few friends. Two to be precise. And I had to go out of my way in order to show them that I did want to be friends with them. One of them invited me out first, but I had to accept even though it was outside my comfort zone. Of course, outside my comfort zone means that I had to leave the safety of my house and meet someone I hardly knew.

 

The other friend, I initiated the get together. I overheard her saying she liked to bike ride, so I asked her to go with me. We've been friends since then.

 

You're feelings are the same that most people share. Problem is most people allow their fears to hold them back. Don't let your fear control you.

[Becoming]

I'm not flush in the friend dept. either. But I totally agree with Tony T and Walk. If you want a friend, you're gonna have to initiate the relationship after meeting some folks you'd like to get to know better, which is only going to happen if you GET OUT THERE--i.e. community classes, college course, church, ballroom dance lessons, whatever.

 

You have to take a risk in putting yourself out there. And that may be difficult because you're afraid of rejection. If that fear is keeping you from something good, you may need to go to counseling to overcome it, but I suspect all you have to do is summon up the courage to put yourself out there and initiate the relationships you want.

 

All the best!

[Salsa_Dancer]

...I totally agree with Tony T and Walk. If you want a friend, you're gonna have to initiate the relationship after meeting some folks you'd like to get to know better, which is only going to happen if you GET OUT THERE...

 

Exactly!!! Everyone wants to change the world, no one wants to change themself!!! but the ONLY wat you are going to make yourself happier is by doing what needs to be done.

 

Besides, there are probably a lot of people you know or run across who are thinking the exact same thing as you about having zero friends and would REALLY APPRECIAITE IT if someone like yourself took the effort to contact them.

 

good luck

[monkey00]

I think WALK nailed this one, i can relate very much.

 

Risking rejection and being vulnerable are the steps everyone has to take in order to form friendships/acquantances. Although in most cases, if the friendship is strong they will leave their comfort zone in respect to an invitation to do something.

 

Unfortunately, some people are more closed off/defensive than others and may take rejection seriously. Which i've experienced often with a couple of my friends. With defensive people often you will have to allow yourself to be more prone to rejection/vulnerability to get them to open up. However there's always a line to draw as long as you dont lose your self-respect. I've had some struggles with friends and still do but stuff like this makes the friendship grow stronger.

 

However 2 poeople have to want the same thing to make it work, be it friendship or company. If one wants what the other doesnt, then it's out of your control.

[trebon]

I have no friends either, which makes breaking up harder cos theres noone to talk to. But to be honest its hardly worth it anyway, most people out there are selfish and nasty. I have gradually lost my way and now I have lost faith in people too. If you go out and have fun you will meet people but it will be luck as to whether you find someone who can click with - but hey, there's nothign to loose!

[Green]

I'm not even old enough to get into a bar.

 

All these ideas seem like they will work, but are far easier said than done. Most people have no idea what it's like to be in my position and have no idea how hard it is to approach someone and start talking.

 

[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]I have an idea, hell most people do. Any one who has ever had to move to a new place or gotten in a serious fight with their group of friends knows. You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start doing things, no one said it was going to be easy. Do what you like to do and find other people who like doing it. For instance if you really like movies go to a movie night at the church or what ever and meet people there. Go ahead and say you have no friends and get some sympathy friends don’t worry they wont feel sorry for you after they become your friends. So just do it! And yes this was very easy to write and its going to be difficult to do but I never said it was going to be easy so bam[/FONT][/sIZE]