a4a Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 marriage haters unite!!! Really....... If you don't dig marriage just don't do it. No biggie right? But what is the point of telling others that it sucks just because it is not your cup o' tea? Stay single and shut up already :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 But what is the point of telling others that it sucks just because it is not your cup o' tea? For the same reason you tell everyone about your bad experience at a new restaurant or when you get a lemon for a car.....to warn others. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 But people aren't buying the same car or going to the same restaurant. The correct analogy would be to say that nobody should ever purchase anything because your experience of making a purchase landed you with bad goods; therefore all goods are bad and should not be bought. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Why get married just because of kids? Lots of single parents out there and marriage is not a requirement for reproduction. Avoid the arguments over parenting styles. What the difference in marrying and having kids and then getting divorced from just having kids outside of marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 For the love of God, why? My wife and I certainly weren't having children at ages 48 and 50, respectively (I already had five and she had two). We just weren't comfortable with the idea of merely living together and wanted that bond and commitment to one another and to our relationship. There are also legal and financial ramifications but by-and-large, it was a way we told and proved to one another that we were going to be together seriously, not casually, and had a real stake in one another's lives. It suits us! Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Even if you're raised in a weak family with a dysfunctional marriage and perhaps already had one of your own, you can still view it as sacred and can want to do better than what you were raised with or experienced before. Link to post Share on other sites
Mirage222 Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 I love you Outcast ... you certainy do have some valid points.. if not all of them!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Mirage222 Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Moving in with a woman? Cool. Sharing bank accounts and other assets? Nah... Only if you've got kids. Sorry ladies...this is what feminism has done to modern men. It's made us afraid of marriage. I am a women and I agree with you 110%! I keep me own dough and assets!!! We live together but what's mine is mine - his - his!!! What a beautiful relationship~! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 What the difference in marrying and having kids and then getting divorced from just having kids outside of marriage? No HOKEY...if you're going to have kids together then you should be married. Its really more for the kids than anything else, making it legal and all. Link to post Share on other sites
Butterflying Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 People get married because they are insecure, and various other reasons. And then they divorce because they realize marriage doesn't make things better. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 People get married because they are insecure, and various other reasons. And then they divorce because they realize marriage doesn't make things better. Had a few bad experiences, have you? I can classify that post as nothing less than stinkin' thinkin'! You must move is a real losers social circle. Link to post Share on other sites
superconductor Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 Had a few bad experiences, have you? I can classify that post as nothing less than stinkin' thinkin'! You must move is a real losers social circle. Au contraire, my thickly-maned feline friend. Butterflying makes a very valid point. In my experience - both personally and those of those married men that I know - almost all of them got married because it was the socially acceptable thing to do. I'd certainly classify that under Butterflying list of reasons. And all those men I know who are divorced say pretty much the same thing: they expected marriage to be something not too dissimilar from their pre-marriage state. But marriage changes people. Watching her brush her teeth everyday and dealing with the cluster of makeup and shampoo bottles spread all over the counter and the cotton undies hanging from the shower curtain rod and the dinged front fender on your new car and the fact that she turns you down 10 times as often as she used to and all the rest takes it's toll. It's all about expectations, I suppose. If you go into marriage expecting eternal bliss, you'll be sorely disappointed. That doesn't make Butterflying's comments "stinkin' thinkin'," it just makes her pragmatic. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 Been married and shouldn't have been. Been divorced and should have been. Am married and like it just fine. Both older. No need, desire or possibility of children. No outlandish expectations so it would be difficult to be disappointed. Pragmatic in the wrong person or misapplied can also be viewed as negative. Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 I don't think that wanting to have a child is a good reason to get married. I don't ever want to have children, but I do want to get married eventually if I find the right person. I refuse to marry while still in my 20s, but I think that it is something that I want in the future. My reason to get married would be to celebrate the fact that I found the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with, and to make them my husband, not just another boyfriend. Plain and simple. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 My reason to get married would be to celebrate the fact that I found the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with, and That's beautiful. Plus you get a ring. Diamonds are forever, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 I can't think of a better reason! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 I can't think of a better reason! for what?? Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 My reason to get married would be to celebrate the fact that I found the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with, and to make them my husband, not just another boyfriend. Plain and simple. There's no better reason to get married that I can think of. Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 There's no better reason to get married that I can think of. Aww thanks , I was expecting to be called naive and some of these ~~> Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 Aww thanks , I was expecting to be called naive and some of these ~~> You are so naive. J/K. Great post though. I couldn't agree more. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 Sometimes I think getting married is a legal way to get raped financially when its over with.... The positive side of marraige is that you have a companion . ( But you can have a live in/ live out companion ) You have someone to come home to ( but these can be done as well with single couples. I have seen some very unfair divorce outcomes for both male and female. I believe in a very LONG engagement. Find out if you still feel that lovin' feeling 3 years later. Those Pro Marraige might not like what I have to say. But opening up Ye Ol' Bank Accounts mutually is a toughie when you share that and every other aspect of your finances. Congrats to those who have sucessful marraiges... Maybe I am not marraige material Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 One word: prenup. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 There's nothing like a nice, happy wedding - with all the pictures to remember your friends and family by, and show to children, grandchildren etc. The main drawback involves the stress, cost and hassle of a potential divorce further down the line. When you've been with a person for several years and they want to "continue as we are", it's almost a given that the likelihood of being exposed to divorce-related trauma is foremost in their minds. And if their first thought regarding marriage to you is "divorce" then it's unlikely that they see you as being the person they would want to spend the rest of their life with. To me, the person you'd love enough to marry is someone you'd take a bullet for, and who you'd trust to do the same for you. If two people feel like that about eachother, why on earth not get married? I'm just not convinced there are that many people out there who are capable of falling - or would permit themselves to fall - in love to that extent. Link to post Share on other sites
TattooedPrincess Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 Obviously, if you have kids, marriage is a must. But without kids, why get married? For the love of God, why? Marriage is not a must if you have kids. Actually! that would be for all the wrong reasons to get married. Kids should not be used as a tool for marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 To me, the person you'd love enough to marry is someone you'd take a bullet for, and who you'd trust to do the same for you. If two people feel like that about eachother, why on earth not get married? I'm just not convinced there are that many people out there who are capable of falling - or would permit themselves to fall - in love to that extent. You can't get much more profound than that! Link to post Share on other sites
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