Angry at guy who gave massage with agenda to check my body

[Nicole]

I'm angry at the guy who gave me a massage a few months ago. I only met him once and he is into rugby while I'm not really into sports. He suggested he give me a massage because he said I looked stressed so I let him and "nothing" happened. he didn't try anything, but I felt like it was his "way" of checking out to see if I had a fit body.

 

A called him a few days ago because I needed someone to talk to because I was upset over a quarrel I had with a new guy I'm dating and the first thing he asked my was "How is your body?"

 

I told him that I had lost some weight (I'm not fat but have a bit of cellulite on the upper thighs. I don't have the body of an athlete) because I had been upset and he said',"That's not good enough, you have to do excercise for yourself, not just not eat',

 

He told me we would talk another time, but he never called back and now the more I think about it I am angry with this A-shole for judging me for my body!

 

I feel like calling him up and telling him off because now I realize that when he massaged me it was his sly way of observing if my body was good enough for him. I want to tell him this and say that I don't have to change my body to get anyone's approval.

 

Don't you think what he did (the massage) was kind of cunning and tricky?

 

SHould I call him up and tell him off? (I'm not interested in him at all)

[Tony T]

You're the one with the serious problem.

 

Unless a person is a licensed massage therapist, he/she has no business giving you a masssage right after you meet them. That's a pretty initimate thing to have a person who is unlicensed and not a professional do unless you've known them for a good while.

 

You have absolutely NO right whatsoever to beef about this guy's motivations for giving you a massage. I meet girls every day I'd love to give a massage to in order to feel their body parts but I would have absolutely no respect for them whatsoever if they allowed me to do such a thing right after meeting them.

 

I would say a body massage is probably a step or two away from sexual intercourse as far as physical intimacy is concerned.

 

You hardly know this guy and then you call him to discuss a quarrel you had with a new guy your dating??????? Why didn't you just call your Senator or Congressman...they'd be more interested and they would write the guy a nasty letter for you!!! Don't you have any closer friends?????? When you want to discuss quarrels you're having with new boyfriends, you don't call some guy you saw once or twice who you hardly know.

 

Hey, this guy gave you a rub and obviously is opinionated about the state of your body. If you don't want someone to have that kind of information, don't hand your body over to them so quickly. And if you don't want his opinion about your cellulite, let him know that to.

 

This is ssssoooooooo weird. I urge you to set some boundaries for yourself. You need to know just where to put people in your life priority-wise. People you just meet are not people you should share important problems or parts of your life with.

 

Don't set yourself up for this kind of stuff. Be a lady!!! Don't let guys put their hands all over you until you've known them a while and you know you really like them. And for Gawd's sake, don't call guys you hardly know to speak about your boyfriend problems. Thirdly, don't get wacked out about some stranger's opinion of your body after you willingly submitted to a complete inspection.

 

Forget about this and give some thought to the way you run your life and give out access to your body. Also review the way you deal with getting boyfriend advice and call close friends or a paid counsellor to discuss these.

 

The guy is correct, though, in that exercise along with a healthy diet is very important.

 

YUK!!!

[Lola]

Do you think that maybe when he was asking "How is your body", he was just talking about you being stressed out and tense. He probably remembered giving you a massage. When you came back with a description instead, it might have caught him off guard.

 

Then, if you were describing your body and it didn't seem like you were that happy with it (if you are telling him about cellulite), he was probably just trying to help.

 

It's true that if you exercise and tone up, you will feel better.

 

One thing that I've learned. Women read a lot more in to what a guy says than what he is actually saying. Take everything at face value, and if it could be construed to have two meanings, take the better one. Life will be much easier.

[Tony T]

YOU WRITE: "Take everything at face value, and if it could be construed to have two meanings, take the better one. Life will be much easier."

 

That is very profound and excellent advice for all!!!