Can our relationship work?

[Davinci]

Views and comments more than welcome. It is a bit of a dilemma and a rant and rave at the end!

 

It is difficult to know where to start so please bare with me it what follows is a little fragmented.

 

I am 26 years of age and have been with the same person, going out, for coming up to 8 years October of this year. However,someone else has recently come into my life and has made me question things. I have spoken to others about this and it is their opinion that she is just jealous of me and my girlfriend have and thus wants to split us up.

 

The truth is, I was unsure if I loved my girlfriend and I have subsequently told her this and said that I had feelings for this other girl. We are best friends and I try and tell her everything. It is for this reasoning that I decided that we should split up. (Please note that the ease with which it is written here does not demonstrate the pain that I caused by hurting her and the guilt that I feel).

 

Whilst this debating has been going on me and the other girl have become close. It is very difficult to describe the relationship except it feels right when we're together, like we had been together in a former life and we were getting back together from that former life (If that makes any sense!). Another oddity is that she is not really my type or me, hers. She also agrees with the way I have described the relationship above.

 

Now, however the girl has moved overseas (an hour flight) and I think that the relationship can't work because of the distance. My heart on the other hand is telling me that I should try and get together with this person. Thoughts?

 

 

[secondary issue is that she is currently on holiday with 3 of her friends and she is in a country where her mobile doesn't work - this is irritating me as I want to get in touch! I believe that in the time apart we will learn what we feel/want for/from one another - but it doesn't make the time go any quicker!]

[The slayer]

I think you have answered all your questions in your last paragraph in the brackets!

 

You would like to be with this person, and a LDR will help you to be sure if this is right for you, not going to be easy though!

 

It seems you are going about things in exactly the right way, credit to you for recognising that you needed to end your relationship and having the courage to do it.

 

Launching straight into another serious relationship is probably not that sensible so I think the fact that this new girl is living an hour away is positive.

 

Go for it you obvioulsy want to or you wouldn't be finding it so irratating not being able to get in touch!

 

Good luck

[dancehead]

You have a dilemma a bit like mine. Not sure if you truely love your current gf, while this other new girl has come in and spiced up your life. Have things got boring, predictable with your gf? What is it that this new girl does or has that your gf hasn't? Ideally you need to decide for yourself, forgetting the new girl, if you are really working with your gf. If it is stay with her, if not leave her - but not for the new girl, because you wanted to. Then if the new girl works than wonderful, if not then you won't have made the wrong decison under her influence. I did a similar thing years ago, with my experience, once you tell a girl that you have doubts she will find it hard to love you like she did before and you end up splitting anyway.

[trebon]

If you were so unsure, how did you manage to last so many years? It is exciting to find someone else you click with but you need to be careful.

 

New love and lust can go hand in hand, but a long term relationship is more about companionship than lust. Although the new relationship could be exciting, there is clearly still an emotionally strong link becasue of your feelings on the phone not working. so be careful not to give up anything too quickly.

 

Good luck