selfless love is just an illusion

[ridingthebulls]

Maybe comparable, but not really.

She had a choice. He didn't have any choices in the matter.

 

 

Regardless, it ultimately gets back to the main concern I issued- he doesn't have any obligation to forgive her and had a NORMAL reaction to this mess.

[Outcast]

No such thing as 'normal'. There's only 'individual'.

[ridingthebulls]

No such thing as 'normal'. There's only 'individual'.

 

 

Well many "individuals" agreed with his outlook on the matter. If more than 50% of people can see his point of view, then I would deem it "normal".

[Outcast]

Once upon a time, more than 50% of people believed in slavery. Numbers do not make anything right. Never have, never will.

[ridingthebulls]

Now you are going to argue about what is "right vs wrong"?

How is cheating on her husband the right thing?

[Outcast]

It's a whole other order of situation than the way you put it. Much more complicated. MUCH.

[ridingthebulls]

"Once upon a time, more than 50% of people believed in slavery. Numbers do not make anything right. Never have, never will."

 

Then don't turn this into a topic which debates what his RIGHT reaction should be. It ultimately will tear down the cheating wife anyways.

 

Give me a break if you are going to compare the common reaction of being CHEATED ON to "slavery"...

This isn't a case of "right" vs "wrong"....

This man is dealing with the situation the best way HE can which is the best way for him to manage contrary to what some other people would choose.

[johnlucas]

Move on, bruh.

 

You saved her damn life & this is the best she could do for you?

Be thankful she showed her true colors like she did & made the choice clear for you.

 

There'll be many more women.

And women who won't cut out on you so soon.

It was only a damn year!

 

John Lucas

[queenbee930]

Sometimes it's not enough to love someone and want to be with them.

 

I remember a couple of different boyfriends from my youth who weren't good choices for me. I think that's probably a common experience for most folks. You meet someone, get involved, and over the course of time you realize that they're not adding anything positive to your life, rather they've introduced a negative energy that brings out the worst in you. It doesn't matter how much you love or want them.... their influence is toxic.

 

I'm not saying that's definitely the case here. Who knows? But, as a possibility, it exists. It might turn out that these two people aren't ever going to be a really good influence on each other.

For the record, I think CarriedOn is well within his rights to decide to move on with his life if that's what he wants. He didn't make these problems. He just woke up to find them all in his lap. He shouldn't be pressured, or made to feel as if he's being unfair to his wife if he doesn't want to define his future by choices he, himself, didn't make.

 

I hope he'll defer his final decision until after he's had some time to think things through. Time heals. But I think the most likely result of continued pressure from the wife will be to force him into a 'default' decision.

 

 

 

VERY good point LJ. This I know from experience. When I found out about my, then, fiance's EA I had a lot of hard decisions to make. I was one of those that always said I would be out the door before you could say Git R Done. I chose to stay and work it out because I knew that I had contributed to the breakdown of the relationship. Due to extenuating circumstances I had to decide really quickly.

 

CO123's situation is very diffierent from mine, but from what I read, and from what I know, he has to decide if he even wants to be with her. Which, of course, is where all the debate comes in. Should he try again or not. Does he try to work it out or not? The hard part isn't deciding, its going to be sticking with that decision. And I absolutely agree with healing yourself first. If she really loves you she will wait. Don't let her force any decisions on you before your ready.

 

I would suggest that you wait until your fully healed. It will give you time to get used to things and to think.

 

IMO you are handling this far better than most. Stick to your guns this is about you. She has made her decisions based on what she felt and needed. Now you need to do the same.

 

Good luck and God bless.

[CarryingOn123]

Ok i'm new here so i might not be doing this right. I've read the entire thread and there is one question that seems most important. IMO the answer to said question is the bottom line. DO YOU WANT TO BE WITH HER?

 

If you have read this thread, you will realise that with 95% of my heart- I dont want to be with her. It was say 80% in the week after i kner the details, It is becoming more clearer and definite as the days go by. I have given a lot of reasons whi I think this way too.

 

Ok, I'm back.

 

I'm just trying to imagine how this would feel.

You wake up and first thing is that you don't even know how long you've been in a coma. They tell you 17 months and you are so surprised when maybe it only felt like days etc. Then all of a sudden another whopper is out about how your WIFE/LOVEOFYOURLIFE is on vacation.... with another man... whom she is engaged to.... and having his baby...

 

you just can't expect this man to forgive and forget.

I think my heart would have stopped or I would have had a heart attack by now if I was in his shoes. Way too much stress.

 

How do you think I feel. Honestly, do you know what keeps me from a breakdown? ; EGO, - I dont want to lose again, I dont want to be the sucker again who was too naive. I simply dont want to be vulnerable in front of people I dont trust with my life.

 

Well, I think my wife has been reading this thread... She hasn't called me for the last 2 days.. I had my first appointment with my counsellor, it was a pretty interesting chat. He asked me to explain in my perception, all the events and my feelings to the same. We chatted about 2 hours. It was ok, lets see how it goes.

 

I am getting a lot of emails from a lot of old friends, whom I haven't been in touch with in ages. Its fun to reconnect with old friends. It brings back a sense of belonging.

[whichwayisup]

Well, I think my wife has been reading this thread... She hasn't called me for the last 2 days..

 

Well, if she is, maybe now she'll have a better understanding of what YOU are feeling. And, maybe some of the advice that's been given to you by posters here will help her sort things out in her head as well.

 

Don't DO anything right now. You need time to just "be".

 

Re-connecting with old friends, being around family and getting used to life again is a good start. You don't have to make any major decisions right now either...And you shouldn't have to either.

 

Baby steps...And that goes for your wife too. Mrs. CO123 if you're reading, I suggest you do the same. There's NO big rush right now. Your husband has been through hell and back, let him get back on his feet and breathe abit before pushing him into choices and decisions he's not ready to face, or deal with yet.

[LovingLife]

CO123,

 

Hope you are doing well, and feeling better.

 

Prayers, & wishes

[CarryingOn123]

Don't DO anything right now. You need time to just "be".

 

Re-connecting with old friends, being around family and getting used to life again is a good start. You don't have to make any major decisions right now either...And you shouldn't have to either.

 

Baby steps...And that goes for your wife too. Mrs. CO123 if you're reading, I suggest you do the same. There's NO big rush right now. Your husband has been through hell and back, let him get back on his feet and breathe abit before pushing him into choices and decisions he's not ready to face, or deal with yet.

 

Well, taking time off wont make the situation any simpler, she is about 3 months (I think) pregnant now. Taking time off will only delay the inevitable. BUT, I will take what you are all saying, and not do anything about it, I will just go on and continue to live my life for the time being.

 

 

Another update- I had another session with the counselor, where he asked me to emotemy feelings about her boyfriend. I hadn't gone there, as you all know. But The C'r wanted me to bring it out. So I started talking to him and going deeper and deeper into it. It was then I realised something....

 

There had been a couple of people who mentioned here that he is in a sad situation too, and he is a victim as well. Well, I realised that all the while that he was pursuing her, he knew she was married, and yet he chose to do it anyway. He knew where I was, how I was, and why I was there. I have not previously mentioned anything when people empathised with him, but now I dont feel that he is an innocent victim in all this. A lote of hate and anger was building up within me whenI slowly realised all this while talking to the C'r. but then I realised that he is not worth my effort of hating him. his bed is his own, he made it.

[CarryingOn123]

Oh yeah,

 

Thanks to all of you have again offered me their kind wishes. I wish life treats you well, as well

[crazy_grl]

I think you've got a solid point there about the other guy, CO123.

 

Glad the counseling is going well for you and helping you work things out. Take care.

[SoleMate]

CO123, my biggest point all along has been suggesting that you take things slowly, don't let emotion overwhelm you in any direction, and make decisions with full information, rather than assumptions.

 

You're doing that. So I think you're doing the "right" thing. Unlike other posters, I don't really care whether you're doing the "normal" or "typical" or "expected" thing. I do agree with a poster above who said that this is about you. Your wife had a long period where it appeared she was making choices with only her interests at heart - and your talk with her seems to confirm this. So now your interests must be uppermost.

 

I find my feelings about your situation changing. When I first heard your story, I had a fair amount of sympathy for your wife, AND I found her behavior incomprehensible. A loving and faithful life partner could never do to you what she did. I felt there must be some secret key that would explain why she erased you out of her life so quickly. But no such key has come to light.

 

Like you, I find myself wondering - if you were to take her back, which I don't think is likely at this point - could you ever feel secure? What would happen if another major crisis occurs? Life and marriage are both full of speed bumps, unpleasant surprises, and really bad hands of cards on occasion. Your wife had her first chance to prove her loyalty. In her shoes, I would have made it a point of pride to be there and take care of you. I would have rushed to your bedside when you woke up - if I wasn't there already.

 

I read the book written by Terry Schiavo's husband. For all the years of her coma, he visited her daily, spending several hours each time, made sure she was always dressed, groomed, and sitting up in a wheelchair, talked to her, played music, etc. The nursing home staff found him unusually devoted. A few years into her coma, he began seeing another woman, and then later began living with her as husband and wife. (They had two kids and are now married.) And Terry's situation was truly just about as hopeless as you can get. A year after she fell into the coma, a doctor asked her husband, "Why are you keeping her alive?" The doctors were clear in their diagnosis and prognosis - she was brain dead and never coming back. The autopsy proved them right - all the higher levels of her brain were destroyed. Even so, he kept faith with her while still moving on with life. That, to me, is the norm. Your wife fell far short of this standard. And for you, there was plenty of room to hope.

 

As to whether OM deserves pity - sure, why not? I don't withhold pity even for grotesque misdeeds like genocide. Heck, I pity your wife deeply too. Life handed her a lemon - your accident - and she couldn't/didn't/wouldn't make lemonade. She went down a road that will be full of pain and regret. (Mixed metaphor, sorry.) The fact that it was her own weaknesses that did her in just adds to the "classic tragedy" quality of the story. But the pity I feel for OM and W are the not the type that would cause me to suggest any different course of action to you.

[jonesgirly]

I've been reading your postings for a while now CarryingOn, and I must compliment you on your eloquent writing and calm demeanor.

 

I've thought many times about how I would feel if something were to happen to my husband, which would have resulted in him being in the same type of situation (coma or otherwise incapacitated).

 

I can honestly say that there would be NO WAY I could 'move on' with someone else in such a short time period. We're talking about a year and a half after the accident and she's 3 months pregnant? I just wouldn't have it "in" me to move on until he was declared brain-dead or was given some other hopeless diagnosis. Even then, the emotional distraught over losing my spouse would last for quite a while.

 

And I know I'm speaking just of myself, so no one needs to point that out. But really, in just a year and half she was already three months pregnant!

 

Now, my husband, on the otherhand, would probably tell the hospital staff to 'pull the plug' if I was taking a nap! I've been careful not to list him on my living will.

 

You sound like you have a great family and a TON of supportive friends. That says a lot about 'you' as a person. I would guess that you would be considered a great 'catch' and don't seem to be lacking anything other than emotional clarity for yourself.

 

Logically speaking, you're a single guy, with a lot going for him. You've been through one HELLUVA trauma that I wouldn't wish on ANYONE, but you're okay. You'll deal with all this crap as it comes, and there will be a time when you'll know what to do, and I doubt that it would include raising another mans child.

 

And as far as the "other guy" is concerned..........I've always felt that the "other" person in any sordid affair is really NOT the guilty party. I choose to hold accountable the person that made ME the promise of fidelity. There are scoundrels waiting around every corner to lure a person into their webs. I hold responsible the person that made the CHOICE to go. <insert hope I don't sound bitter comment here>

 

I'm sure you're pissed off that he comforted your wife by having a family with her, especially since that was YOURS to begin with. I cannot imagine the anger at both of them you must harbor.

 

I'm sounding whiney now, and maybe I feel so strongly about this because I'm older and have a greater appreciation for family and living through 'thick-n-thin'. I wish you well, CarryingOn, you've done great so far and seem to have a very logical and realistic way of thinking about your life. I would bet that your story here has initiated many "couples" talks.

[Ladyjane14]

There had been a couple of people who mentioned here that he is in a sad situation too, and he is a victim as well. Well, I realised that all the while that he was pursuing her, he knew she was married, and yet he chose to do it anyway. He knew where I was, how I was, and why I was there. I have not previously mentioned anything when people empathised with him, but now I dont feel that he is an innocent victim in all this. A lote of hate and anger was building up within me whenI slowly realised all this while talking to the C'r. but then I realised that he is not worth my effort of hating him. his bed is his own, he made it.

 

I'm not really sure that it's important at this stage for you to empathize with the OM. You've got quite alot to deal with already.

 

I think maybe the only point you need to deal with is that your wife didn't empathize with him.... and she probably should have. This OM was about to commit his life to a woman who has stated recently that she never loved him the way a wife should love her husband. I think if you'll read through a few threads here at LS, you'll see some other guys who aren't getting the loving, emotionally intimate relationship they signed on for, and you'll notice the pain it causes them is almost palpable.

 

It wasn't your job to care about this OM. It was hers. She signed on for it... same as she signed on for you earlier. And this guy was on the verge of laying down his future for a woman who couldn't return his devotion. She was about to let him do that. If you hadn't awakened when you did, she probably would have.

 

I think maybe it's the idea that she would allow that kind of sacrifice that ought to concern you. Because it follows that when a person can treat one callously, they are capable of treating others callously as well.

 

I'm not sure what your concern is here regarding the length of her pregnancy:

Well, taking time off wont make the situation any simpler, she is about 3 months (I think) pregnant now. Taking time off will only delay the inevitable. BUT, I will take what you are all saying, and not do anything about it, I will just go on and continue to live my life for the time being.

 

Do you feel like there's a time crunch for her to make a decision in terminating the pregnancy or not?

 

I have to be honest.... I personally wouldn't touch someone else's decision to procreate or not with a 10-foot pole. I wouldn't want that kind of responsibility.

[jonesgirly]

It wasn't your job to care about this OM. It was hers. She signed on for it... same as she signed on for you earlier. And this guy was on the verge of laying down his future for a woman who couldn't return his devotion. She was about to let him do that. If you hadn't awakened when you did, she probably would

Excellent point, LadyJane.

And in thinking about the person that was about to allow this to happen, without true, personal conviction, how could one know if she'd be any different with someone else? You, at least, have both the knowledge of her past, and of her future (without you).

[CarryingOn123]

Baby steps...And that goes for your wife too. Mrs. CO123 if you're reading, I suggest you do the same. There's NO big rush right now. Your husband has been through hell and back, let him get back on his feet and breathe abit before pushing him into choices and decisions he's not ready to face, or deal with yet.

 

Hi WWIU, I think she is taking your advice , and that of several others on this thread. She called my sis yesterday, she enquired how I was, what did the doctor say at my review, how did my time go with the C'r, if I was feeling better, and that sort of stuff. She didn't ask to talk to me.

 

I think you've got a solid point there about the other guy, CO123.

 

Glad the counseling is going well for you and helping you work things out. Take care.

 

Thanks CG, I too think I have a good point there.

 

 

CO123, my biggest point all along has been suggesting that you take things slowly, don't let emotion overwhelm you in any direction, and make decisions with full information, rather than assumptions.

 

You're doing that. So I think you're doing the "right" thing. Unlike other posters, I don't really care whether you're doing the "normal" or "typical" or "expected" thing. I do agree with a poster above who said that this is about you. .

 

Thank you for your understanding Solemate.

 

Seriously, what is the "normal" or "typical" or "expected" thing to do here. I though there was nothing "normal" or "typical" or "expected" about all this.

 

I find my feelings about your situation changing. When I first heard your story, I had a fair amount of sympathy for your wife, AND I found her behavior incomprehensible. A loving and faithful life partner could never do to you what she did. I felt there must be some secret key that would explain why she erased you out of her life so quickly. But no such key has come to light.

.

 

What she told me (and as I had said earlier, we didn't go deeper into this) was, that she was lonely, miserable, depressed and missing me. She turned to him for comfort because he was there. She also told me that she is not making excuses, and that she knew even then that it was the wrong thing to do. She said she used to turn to him dor a diversion/distraction, and that if she had not become pregnant she wouldn't have agreed to marry him. She said she was emotional after getting pregnant and made the decision to seperate from me and marry him at that time.

 

But like I said, I understand her reasons- but I dont find anything that are very nice. That is why I dont want to dissect her feelings at that time, and talk to her in detail about it, because, what is the point?

 

 

Your wife had her first chance to prove her loyalty. In her shoes, I would have made it a point of pride to be there and take care of you. I would have rushed to your bedside when you woke up - if I wasn't there already.

.

 

In all fairness, and in her defence, that was because she was not told, and after I was told, I didn't want them to call her and tell her. But she cut short her trip and came back soon after she came to know.

 

And Terry's situation was truly just about as hopeless as you can get. A year after she fell into the coma, a doctor asked her husband, "Why are you keeping her alive?" The doctors were clear in their diagnosis and prognosis - she was brain dead and never coming back. .

 

I was not brain dead and no one had to keep me alive. I was alive all on my own.

 

As to whether OM deserves pity - sure, why not? I don't withhold pity even for grotesque misdeeds like genocide. .

 

You are definitely a better person than I am Solemate,

 

 

I'm not really sure that it's important at this stage for you to empathize with the OM. You've got quite alot to deal with already.

 

I think maybe the only point you need to deal with is that your wife didn't empathize with him.... and she probably should have. This OM was about to commit his life to a woman who has stated recently that she never loved him the way a wife should love her husband. I think if you'll read through a few threads here at LS, you'll see some other guys who aren't getting the loving, emotionally intimate relationship they signed on for, and you'll notice the pain it causes them is almost palpable.

 

It wasn't your job to care about this OM. It was hers. She signed on for it... same as she signed on for you earlier. And this guy was on the verge of laying down his future for a woman who couldn't return his devotion. She was about to let him do that. If you hadn't awakened when you did, she probably would have.

.

 

Why should I try to deal with what happened with him, why do I need to care if he was crushed, or not getting all the loving that he hoped for. Did he think of me when he started pursuing her. Did he think how he will feel if he were in my shoes.... I guess not... His life is his problem as far as I am concerned.

 

I'm not sure what your concern is here regarding the length of her pregnancy:

 

 

Do you feel like there's a time crunch for her to make a decision in terminating the pregnancy or not?

 

I have to be honest.... I personally wouldn't touch someone else's decision to procreate or not with a 10-foot pole. I wouldn't want that kind of responsibility.

 

honestly, yes, thats what I meant. But I meant it more in the sense that it would mean that we hammer the final nail into the coffin, and the decisions and follow up actions can be more clarified.

 

And you are right, I wouldn't want that kind of responsibility either.

[Outcast]

The nursing home staff found him unusually devoted

 

And you also said that in another case after a year someone was asked to pull a plug. So citing the Shiavo case is not exactly citing the norm, now is it?

[Ladyjane14]

Why should I try to deal with what happened with him, why do I need to care if he was crushed, or not getting all the loving that he hoped for. Did he think of me when he started pursuing her. Did he think how he will feel if he were in my shoes.... I guess not... His life is his problem as far as I am concerned.

 

You don't have to care about him at all. That's not important. What IS important is that your wife used this guy to prop herself up emotionally at a low point in her life.

 

If she can do that to him.... what's to stop her from doing it to you or anybody else?

Looking at the situation from the OM's point of view tells you more about your wife. The OM isn't the issue.

 

Was this guy aware that she didn't love him, btw? Was he aware that she was only marrying him because she was pregnant? Because if they decided to enter into some sort of marriage of convenience, I think it would have been a misguided choice. But still, there wouldn't be this element of premeditated emotional dishonesty.

 

Anyway, I don't think the child she's expecting should be a factor in whatever decisions you two eventually make. If she carries her baby to term.... she's going to love that child just the same as any other mother would. There will come a point when she won't care who the biological father is. Once she bonds with her baby.... she won't want to change a hair on his/her head.

 

And if you two do end up back together, you too will doubtless learn to love this child. People are more than just the sum of who their parents are. Kids are unique and individual people from birth.

[CarryingOn123]

You don't have to care about him at all. That's not important. What IS important is that your wife used this guy to prop herself up emotionally at a low point in her life.

 

If she can do that to him.... what's to stop her from doing it to you or anybody else?

Looking at the situation from the OM's point of view tells you more about your wife. The OM isn't the issue.

.

 

Oh..Ok..I see what you are saying...

 

Was this guy aware that she didn't love him, btw? Was he aware that she was only marrying him because she was pregnant? Because if they decided to enter into some sort of marriage of convenience, I think it would have been a misguided choice. But still, there wouldn't be this element of premeditated emotional dishonesty.

 

Thats what she told me. That she had told him that she wasn't romantically interested in him, and she just wanted to be friends (with benefits, I guess) with him. and Also about the decision to marry- that she had told him that the pregnancy was the reason why she chose to go by this path, but that she will try and love him, and make a family.

 

This is what she had told me when I met her....

 

Anyway, I don't think the child she's expecting should be a factor in whatever decisions you two eventually make. If she carries her baby to term.... she's going to love that child just the same as any other mother would. There will come a point when she won't care who the biological father is. Once she bonds with her baby.... she won't want to change a hair on his/her head.

 

And if you two do end up back together, you too will doubtless learn to love this child. People are more than just the sum of who their parents are. Kids are unique and individual people from birth.

 

Well, whether we like it or not, it definitely is a factor. The kid may be special and unique and everything, but can I be a good dad to the child... I dont think so.. The OM will always be a part of my life in that case. By choosing that path I am choosing to carry this pain and betrayal onwards for the rest of my life.. and even if I am able to be a good father to the kid, there is all probability (90%) that the kid would want to have a relationship with the biological father (if there wasn't one already), that will be the ultimate let down, When you have accepted the kid as your own and given it your 100%, then one fine day they turn around and say "oh! by the way, I want to be with my real dad". I dont want to set myself up for another heartbreak from this situation.

 

You don't have to care about him at all. That's not important. What IS important is that your wife used this guy to prop herself up emotionally at a low point in her life.

 

If she can do that to him.... what's to stop her from doing it to you or anybody else?

Looking at the situation from the OM's point of view tells you more about your wife. The OM isn't the issue.

 

Was this guy aware that she didn't love him, btw? Was he aware that she was only marrying him because she was pregnant? Because if they decided to enter into some sort of marriage of convenience, I think it would have been a misguided choice. But still, there wouldn't be this element of premeditated emotional dishonesty.

 

Anyway, I don't think the child she's expecting should be a factor in whatever decisions you two eventually make. If she carries her baby to term.... she's going to love that child just the same as any other mother would. There will come a point when she won't care who the biological father is. Once she bonds with her baby.... she won't want to change a hair on his/her head.

 

And if you two do end up back together, you too will doubtless learn to love this child. People are more than just the sum of who their parents are. Kids are unique and individual people from birth.

 

You don't have to care about him at all. That's not important. What IS important is that your wife used this guy to prop herself up emotionally at a low point in her life.

 

If she can do that to him.... what's to stop her from doing it to you or anybody else?

Looking at the situation from the OM's point of view tells you more about your wife. The OM isn't the issue.

 

Was this guy aware that she didn't love him, btw? Was he aware that she was only marrying him because she was pregnant? Because if they decided to enter into some sort of marriage of convenience, I think it would have been a misguided choice. But still, there wouldn't be this element of premeditated emotional dishonesty.

 

Anyway, I don't think the child she's expecting should be a factor in whatever decisions you two eventually make. If she carries her baby to term.... she's going to love that child just the same as any other mother would. There will come a point when she won't care who the biological father is. Once she bonds with her baby.... she won't want to change a hair on his/her head.

 

And if you two do end up back together, you too will doubtless learn to love this child. People are more than just the sum of who their parents are. Kids are unique and individual people from birth.

 

You don't have to care about him at all. That's not important. What IS important is that your wife used this guy to prop herself up emotionally at a low point in her life.

 

If she can do that to him.... what's to stop her from doing it to you or anybody else?

Looking at the situation from the OM's point of view tells you more about your wife. The OM isn't the issue.

 

Was this guy aware that she didn't love him, btw? Was he aware that she was only marrying him because she was pregnant? Because if they decided to enter into some sort of marriage of convenience, I think it would have been a misguided choice. But still, there wouldn't be this element of premeditated emotional dishonesty.

 

Anyway, I don't think the child she's expecting should be a factor in whatever decisions you two eventually make. If she carries her baby to term.... she's going to love that child just the same as any other mother would. There will come a point when she won't care who the biological father is. Once she bonds with her baby.... she won't want to change a hair on his/her head.

 

And if you two do end up back together, you too will doubtless learn to love this child. People are more than just the sum of who their parents are. Kids are unique and individual people from birth.

[Outcast]

It distresses me how many people are urging you to harden your heart without knowing her or hearing her story.

[CarryingOn123]

It distresses me how many people are urging you to harden your heart without knowing her or hearing her story.

Hey OC,

 

I did hear her side of the story. Why are you saying that I dont know her story. I had posted a jist of what she had told me. Those who had expected some earth shattering reasons, were disappointed, because it was a sipmle straightforward reason - she felt lonely so she had sex with a friend, no love just sex, one time they were careless, and she got pregnant. and the rest is history.

 

Tell me, my friend, can there possibly be a version of this story that will make me feel better.... I honestly dont think so, but if you do think there can be another version, please enlighten me.