Ugh....

[aquadeasiac]

So, my ex & I have been broken up for almost 4 weeks now.

We went out for a year & two months. Sounds short compared to most of you guys. . . but. . it was a year I won't remember. We're first love and stuff like that.. he meant alot to me. Yeah.. I know we're "kids" (16) and we "don't know anything"... but... sadly, I believe that I love... lol.

 

He broke up with me, saying that it's not right, he wants to be single, and we both should move on. Our relationship was definitely not perfect. Like most everyone, I did the "classic mistakes" after the breakup.. begged, called alot of times, cried, got uber emotional, you know... ah. How I regret it. So basically, now I got cut off his life. . . (blocked on AIM.. even myspace, ignoring phone calls..) He just kept saying that it's better off we don't talk, so we can "both get over it". Hmm.. this NC thing is killing me, but what can I do right? He's even angry at me for talking to his friends. He thinks that I went to them so that they can side with me.. honestly, I wasn't trying to do that.. I thought I should go to them for advice, who else knows the guy more than I do? But..ugh. I made the breakup worse. I know..

 

I talked to him a while ago, few weeks.. and he said he does not have any feelings for me as more than friends, but yet he is not over me. I asked, "How can you not have feelings for me, and not be over me?"... He seemed confused and hesitant, gave me a "uh.... ", and I just left it at that.

 

You see.. I'll meet up with him soon.. I just don't know what to say. I know not to be emotional, try not to cry, try to stay STRONG. I'd love for us to be back again..and sadly, he told his friends and the last thing he told me was "WE'RE NOT GOING OUT AND WE NEVER WILL BE!"..

 

ouch....

 

When he says this, is it really really over? No more hope? No more future?

 

I'm a believer in.. you never really know what's gonna happen till it's there. You can't say what's gonna happen in the future. Yet this guy already "knows" it. He's alot indecisive too. When he says this, it makes me feel like I was such a horrible girlfriend. It's not like I lied, I cheated, you know.. I admitted my mistakes, as in.. being too overly jealous and assuming things.. ugh.. I would get mad and that wouldn't be good also.. I actually stopped being so over "protective" last weeks of our relationship, I was fine with ALOT of things.. but the thing is.. it feels like he's not looking at THAT, he's looking at what I was doing MONTHS ago... jesus... I heard now he just says "I'm glad I'm free, but I just have no friends to be with." Funny thing is.. weeks into the relationship, I was like, "OH! I would never EVER last a year with that kid. I would never love him."... sucks for me eh? I do and it hurts.

 

So my question is... am I really hopeless? I would play the NC thing after we talk soon.. IN PERSON.... and what should I say? How should I be when we meet?

 

This board rocks.. I don't feel so alone in this whole issue. Thank you.

[AriaIncognito]

So, my ex & I have been broken up for almost 4 weeks now.

We went out for a year & two months. Sounds short compared to most of you guys. . . but. . it was a year I won't remember.

 

Check out your own freudian slip in your post...i'd say that would mean subconsciously you know you need to move on now.

 

Jennifer

[aquadeasiac]

oh really.....? okay....

 

OHHHHH. AHAHAHAHA......I get it now..

 

My bad. I meant, a year I won't FORGET.

 

I was writing that around one in the morning, I was basically half asleep. It seems like I can't edit it anymore.

[aquadeasiac]

No one has any suggestions to give me...?

[Guest]

No one has any suggestions to give me...?

 

Its tough, chick. But when someone says they dont' want to be with you, then they probably don't. You may believe that you know never what's going to happen, which i think is true, but if you don't try to move on, you'll always be stuck hoping and waiting for something that most likely will never be.

 

I'm also trying to come to terms with my bf breaking up with me. It went from greatest love in the world to...not!!! I still love him and 2 months on (when i thought i was doing quite well) and now i am back to feeling bad about it and gettig all weepy. But though i secretly really do want him back (haven't told this to anyone), i just try and think about all the reasons why we aren't good together and why the relationship wouldn't have worked anyway. I also try and think about other ppl and how there are some ppl that are WAY worse off than I am (ppl dying of AIDS, malnutrition, lack of water, etc).

 

Just try and do stuff to keep your mind off him. Get into your hobbies or start a new one and make new friends. Resist talking to his friends! Talk to your own friends instead about how you feel. And make new plans for the future. Creating goals and workig towards them is a good way of focusing your thoughts on something else. Soon you'll be wondering why you ever even fancied him! (I am waiting for this period to come too and since I have had far too many boyfriends, I know that this eventually happens (usually!)!)