I've messed up

[Stranger782]

I'm in a long-term relationship, and i'm really good friends with most of my boyfriends mates. I went out into town last week with a friend after me and my boyfriend had had an argument. Half way through the night she ditched me for a guy she'd met. It was miles to the nearest taxi rank, and i knew my boyfriend was having an early night.

 

So i rang one of his best mates who i knew would be out, to ask if he could come walk me to a taxi rank. He said he was at a house party which was nearer, and that he'd come pick me up and we could call a taxi from there. I trusted him, and the fact that i knew i was far too drunk to be out on my own made me glad he'd said that.

 

But when i got there there was hardly any people there, and they were all smoking drugs in the living room - i'm not into this at all, and so he said he'd sit in the garden with me for a bit since we had a half hour wait for a taxi.

 

When we got there he told me he had something to tell me - that my boyfriend had been cheating on me. When i was sober i didnt believe him, but because i was drunk i just got upset, and it made me even more annoyed with him.

 

There was only one chair and i was standing, so his best mate pulled me onto his knee in an excuse to comfort me and i gave him a hug. He then started kissing my neck, and it took me about 10 seconds to stop him. I got off his knee even more confused and turned around to see one of his mates videoing us 'to blackmail me with later'.

 

I said i was going to the toilet then leaving, whether the taxi had arrived by then or not. When i was coming out of the toilet he pushed me back in and locked the door, i fell over in surprise, and he pinned me to the floor and tried to basically take advantage of me. I managed to wriggle free and left.

 

But now i feel sick with guilt over the whole thing. I found out after he'd only told me about my boyfriend cheating on me so that i'd be more inclined to do something with him. I feel so awful for the whole thing. He's begged me not to tell my boyfriend anything, and i can't anyway because of A - the video, and B - it'll ruin their friendship, and they've been best mates for years.

 

Don't know what to do, everytime i see my boyfriend i want to cry with guilt. I know it's my own fault, but how do i get over this?

[corwin]

First of all, this is not your fault. This guy is scum and forced himself on you. This jerk is not your Boyfriend's "Best Mate" at all. No friend would do this to another. You need to tell your boyfriend exactly what happened, every detail that you can remember. Trust me, this will only get worse if you don't.

[a4a]

I agree 110% with the poster above.

[Bryanp]

Please inform your boyfriend immediately. He needs to know what a slime and backstabber this guy is. Do not allow this guy to continue to do this with other people. He totally disrespected you and your boyfriend. By not telling your boyfriend you are sending a message to this guy that this is acceptable what he tried to do with you. Your boyfriend should not be friends with a guy who would try to humiliate this way. Please tell your boyfriend.

[morrigan]

When i was coming out of the toilet he pushed me back in and locked the door, i fell over in surprise, and he pinned me to the floor and tried to basically take advantage of me. I managed to wriggle free and left.

 

Basically, the guy attempted to assault you in the bathroom, and his buddies did nothing to stop him. What a pack of b*stards. Never go near any of these guys again, even if you're sober and with other people.

 

Tell your boyfriend (and possibly the police) exactly what happened. Anyone with sense would want to know what happened and would be angry about it.

 

As far as your boyfriend, if he choses to believe and stay friends with these guys, he's not worth the trouble of seeing again.