Him again

[mixed up]

I"ve been writing at this site for a few weeks now about my ex. We started talking again just as friends. I attended a formal dinner with him on Thursday and everything went well we were both friendly towards each other. We both agreed that we still wanted to be together but could not make it happen right now. We both need to regain our footing.

 

Well i woke up this morning at 6:30am because he just walked into my apartment while i was sleeping. He knows where I hide the key. Anyways, I asked him what was wrong and he said nothing i just wanted to make you breakfast before you went to work. I have not spoke to him since Thursday night and we agreed to just lay low and not contact each other. I told him that I was not getting up for another half hour that he could make me breakfast at that time after i showered. He said okay, and he laid down with me after he apoligised about 15 times for not calling the night before. I said no big deal i was not expecting you to call at all, I thought we were just going to wait a while before we talked again.

 

We jsut let it drop and talked about trivial stuff for the next half hour till I had to start getting ready. He made me breakfast and I left for work.

 

Here is my delema though. He NEVER did anything like this while we were together, so why would he do this now just all of a sudden? He is the one who broke up with me.

 

Any thoughts would be helpful!

 

Thanks!!!

[Laurynn]

Hi there,

 

In a rush here so I'll be brief. Not sure of the reasons surrounding the breakup (why he wanted to end things), but my guess is that after having some time apart, then getting together at the formal dinner on Thursday, perhaps he looked at you in a different light....perhaps he has more clarity now....and it's really "hit him" what you do mean to him.....and that he still cares very deeply for you....maybe it took ending things for him to realize this........and he wants to show you, in small ways, how much you mean to him.......so although he's never made breakfast before, he decided to do it now.....just a little something special to let you know you are special. I think it's really very sweet of him, although if it were me, I would probably have been freaked out to wake up and find my ex in my place LOL. Maybe he was watching you sleep and realizing all you mean to him.

 

Seems to me he's just trying to show you that he still cares a lot.....and maybe he regrets having ended things.....and he's trying to get back together but doesn't want to come on too strong or overwhelm or smother you.......

 

Sometimes people do "unusual" (meaning, things they didn't normally do in the past, if ever) things when their heart compels them to show how much they care for someone.

 

L

 

I"ve been writing at this site for a few weeks now about my ex. We started talking again just as friends. I attended a formal dinner with him on Thursday and everything went well we were both friendly towards each other. We both agreed that we still wanted to be together but could not make it happen right now. We both need to regain our footing. Well i woke up this morning at 6:30am because he just walked into my apartment while i was sleeping. He knows where I hide the key. Anyways, I asked him what was wrong and he said nothing i just wanted to make you breakfast before you went to work. I have not spoke to him since Thursday night and we agreed to just lay low and not contact each other. I told him that I was not getting up for another half hour that he could make me breakfast at that time after i showered. He said okay, and he laid down with me after he apoligised about 15 times for not calling the night before. I said no big deal i was not expecting you to call at all, I thought we were just going to wait a while before we talked again. We jsut let it drop and talked about trivial stuff for the next half hour till I had to start getting ready. He made me breakfast and I left for work. Here is my delema though. He NEVER did anything like this while we were together, so why would he do this now just all of a sudden? He is the one who broke up with me. Any thoughts would be helpful! Thanks!!!

[midori]

I agree more or less with what Laurynn has said here but out-of-the blue, middle-of-the-night appearances from exes seems to have become a little specialty of mine, so I have this to add: keep your eyes open. I don't know why you guys broke up, but if the reasons were his, be careful of this kind of seductive little side-step. If he wants to get back together he should say so. The issues that caused you two to break up need to be discussed & resolved specifically. There's no magic charm to wipe away problems, no number of surprise breakfasts is going to allow the two of you to proceed forward happily unless you've done the hard stuff first. I've had far too much experience with guys who aren't sure what they want but were pretty sure they didn't want to let go of me to not recognize the signs. Random, romantic, out-of-character gestures are lovely, but unless they're backed up with meaningful change & action, they are *only* gestures. Don't let yourself be charmed into complacency -- because the problems will resurface all too soon.