Cant take off the shirt =/

[Guest]

hey, iv been going through some pretty tough self-esteem issues ever since high school started. I was a fat kid freshman year, and decided to do something for myself and do some lifting and cardio. I lost about 10lbs and gained some muscle.

 

I started getting more serious and started lifting 4x a week and doing some boxing in my garage sophmore year. I have been lifting since last january. I have improved dramatically on everything I do (fitness wise). I push myself so much and I dont see any results, But i know they happen because Iv increased my weight in benching from 120-190 and a squat from 100-275

 

Im 5'11 and a half (yea had to get that 1/2 in) and weigh about 207lbs. Im having a hard time taking off my shirt to go swimming etc.. because I was basically tormented my freshman year. And this weekend im going to virginia beach with 2 of my close friends, I might add they are soccer plays with that whole six pack deal =/.

 

Im just really embarassed to be shirtless around them because they are skinny cut guys while I am big and broad. the only thing iv seen a change in are my arm muscles, my neck, and my back got pretty big. Should I be embarssed around them Iv known them my whole life... I just still have those memories in the back of my head.

 

I moved from "pillsburry doughboy" to the "the hulk" Im really very nervous to go on vacation now and Im not even looking forward to it one bit, I would rather stay home.

 

I dont get made fun of anymore for being fat, But i still feel like its there and im just so self-conscious it hurts. Just thinking about virginia beats makes my stomach drop

[leopardprint]

In all honesty, I've never liked super skinny boys with 6 packs. My boyfriend is 5'8" and is very broad, and I find his large upper body (built shoulders, pecs, arms, etc) to be WAY sexy, and he's also been doing boxing and weight training for a long time. He's the SAME way you are as well! He will NOT take off his shirt for no one; when he was in middle school, he was the chubby kid as well - but in highschool, started training at home for the Marines, joined the football team, etc, and became in amazing shape! I find his inability to see how wonderful he's built incredibly silly considering how awesome he looks. He looks so much more healthy and so much stronger than those skinny, lanky surfer boys.

 

But I know how you feel. I'm the opposite as you, but the same. I was the SKINNY girl growing up (and still am). When I was in middle school, kids made fun of me ALL the time because of how skinny I was (I have an extremely high metabolism). I've been to a few different doctors about gaining weight, but nothing ever worked. I used to wear REALLY baggy clothes to try to hide it, but in reality, it made me look even skinnier!

 

Eventually in highschool, I just filled out and filled into myself. I started getting, "Gosh I wish I had a body like yours!" from my girlfriends instead of, "Gosh do you eat at all?! Gross!". I don't know, after awhile, I started realizing that there's ALL types of people, and I just grew into myself - got comfortable.

 

I believe everyone has their self conscious nit-picks about themselves. I still feel like my arms are too skinny, and usually walk around with them crossed so no one can see. I also have this thing about my teeth - I had braces for 4 years, they're perfectly straight, but for the life of me, I still see a hidieous over bite, when the rest of the word doesn't.

 

I think there are things we'll always see, that aren't really there, because it's just been burned into our minds that THAT is who we are. Just try to be comfortable with yourself, and try to remember, that THAT is NOT you anymore. Remember, you're going to the beach to have fun, not to show off your body in competition with your friends (although it feels like that sometimes, doesn't it? blah - screw that!)! Oh, and I'd rather have a strong guy who could protect me then some sissy pretty boy.

[Love_the_Loni]

I suffer from 'fat kid syndrome' too. I grew up always being the chubby kid and never wanting to take off my shirt at the pool. Even now in my twenties I have some self image problems. I started working out like you and took off a lot of weight (biking 10-15 miles a few days a week and jogging up to 3-4 miles a day worked the best) and got pretty slim. I'm still very health concious and work out now for health more than image.

 

My recommendations: Keep working out--think long distances and cardio!

Go to a tanning bed. You don't have to tell anyone. You can go 2-3 times a week for a few weeks and get a nice tan. Trust me--you'll feel better about taking your shirt off and better about how you look once you have a bit of a tan. I am assuming you are old enough to go tanning. I don't usually recommend this and I have only gone a few times before vacations to Central America, but I think it will help your esteem to get started.