Seperated and trying to date

[seattlegurl25]

So I have spoken to many of my friends and family for advice, but I hope someone who is impartial maybe able to give me some as well. I was married a year and a half ago to an immigrant who I loved very much. Our marriage was very rocky soon into it, and I found him looking on the internet for other women. I gave him many chances to reconcile the relationship, and tried to trust him. Ultimatley, the marriage did not work out, and it was very heartbreaking to discover his intentions were not honorable to begin with. I would have gotten a divorce immediatly, but laws regarding his residency could implicate me leagally, and money was very tight. So I have to wait until October for it to be finalized. I have filed and am very much looking forward to the closer of this unfortunate chapter of my life.

It has since been over 7 months since our seperation, and I have just started to feel confident dating again. It has taken some but I am happy on my own. I have reflected on what happened to my marriage, and have learned a lot about trusting myself. The fear of being hurt and rejected has been one of the hardest parts to deal with, but I feel much stronger in the last couple of months.

I have met a man that I enjoy spending time with very much. We have been seeing eachother for about a week and a half. I feel that we are getting much closer and it is time for me to tell him about my situation. The only reason I haven't said anything yet is because I don't want to be prejudged. I feel like people have bad feelings about women who are divorced or are getting a divorce. We are labeled as "damaged goods". I don't feel that this is a fair judgment, especially in my situation, and don't want to ever have this affect how someone feels about me.

That being said, I don't think that this man will react harshly to my situation. I would not be interested in him if he was that kind of person. I was wondering how I can tell him this without hurting him or driving him away. I don't feel that I was hiding anything or lying to him. I wanted to make sure that his intentions with me were worth even bring up this part of my past.

So I guess I just need some advice on how to go about telling him. Are there some things that I should make sure to say, or leave out for that matter? I am just so confused about all of this, and scared. I don't want to be rejected, but I don't want to put it off any longer because I really do fell that he is a great man. Any advice from someone who understands would be great. Thanks.

[Billy Bob]

Well, I would just come out and tell him if I were you and let the chips fall as they may. If it doesn't work out with him I'll take you out for cofee (I'm just over the water in Bellevue )