carmaenforcer Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 I really think that I hate my Wife. I have forever had issues with her, but lately I have found my self less and less able to snap right back after an argument. Last night I woke up after a nightmare and couldn't go back to sleep till the alarm clock went off in the morning. I just lay there miserable because I was laying next to someone I hate. Then to make things worse in the morning she rolled over and tried to hug up on me and if I could I would have jumped out of my skin, and ran away screaming. The past few times we have had sex I have to force myself to cum or I just won't and just give her hers and jump off. This last time I actually felt grossed out. I feel bad about it because she's pregnant but I can't help it. And it has nothing to do with the way she looks. I actually like pregnant women. It's her attitude and lack of logic. I know pregnant women will have hormone issues and be hard to deal with but she was that way before pregnancy and now she's just an irritatingly painful idiot. I think what I hate the most, is when she tries to correct her behavior or act sorry. I say "act sorry" because she will never actually say the words. Another peace of **** personality flaw I have to deal with this poor excuse for a human being. Wow, sorry. Just had to vent there for a minute. Yeah, I know she's wrong and needs to check herself but she of coarse doesn't agree and then later she figures it out and corrects her behavior for a little while only to do the same stupid inconsiderate crap all over again. Oh yeah and the whole time expecting me to treat her good and consider her feelings and needs. **** THAT, I'm done. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 Think maybe you two should head to counselling...You have alot of resentment towards your wife. How far along is she? Don't be sorry for a vent, I hope it made you feel better. All I can say too is, hate is a very strong word, so maybe it's just the way you feel at the moment...Fed up, and frustrated. I don't believe you really hate her. Could you imagine your life without her? Getting a divorce? If you find yourself happier without her around, then maybe it IS time for you to decide what you want in life. Just hope this baby makes things better instead of worse...... Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 I remember you saying before you married her that she always liked to start dumb fights so why one earth did you marry her? Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedGal Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 Why do you hate her so much??? And why'd you get her pregnant if you hate her so much?? So unfair to the kid and her! Link to post Share on other sites
tikigods Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 why did you 1. marry her and 2. spawn with her?! WHy not be a man and divorce her so you both can move on? Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 How do you go from: "I Love My Wife Soooo Much" to "I hate my Pregnant Wife" in only four short months????? And what is this constant mention of "nightmares"? What happened to you, and have you ever gotten any counseling for yourself? I won't apologize for being blunt … but MAN, you go from hot to cold! I'm not dismissing the mutually abusive relationship you seem to be in, but you do seem rather manic. Last night I woke up after a nightmare and couldn't go back to sleep till the alarm clock went off in the morning. I just lay there miserable because I was laying next to someone I hate. Then to make things worse in the morning she rolled over and tried to hug up on me and if I could I would have jumped out of my skin, and ran away screaming. From March, 2006: "I Love My Wife Soooooo Much." Sorry a bit of a waste of a thread but I've been feeling so in love with my Wife today and I won't get to see her to tell her/show her for another hour or so. I knew, I'm a dork but me love just keeps growing with every nice thing I find out about her and with every time she persously does something healthy for our relationship. Every time I see an effort to making things better dispite her self or what the world might think. Every time she is honest even if it's going to piss me off. Every time she finds me in the pile of blankets when I'm having a nightmare. Every time she holds me when I'm sick. Every time she asks me what's wrong. Every time she gets mad at her Mom or Grandma for saying something bad about me or when they are mean to me. Every time I screw up and she forgives me. Every time she screws up and admits it and tries to harder not to do it again. I'm bustin over here. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=749270#post749270 Link to post Share on other sites
bab Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 How do you go from: "I Love My Wife Soooo Much" to "I hate my Pregnant Wife" in only four short months????? My thoughts exactly!! What's up with this? Are the two of you still not having sex? Is that what this is about? You've only been married 5 months! You seem like a very dramatic person. Why do you "hate" your wife? Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 To the OP. Sounds like you either have a passive/agressive personality disorder or some other sort of mental problem that you need to see a psychologist for. Your wife is going through enough with having a baby, she doesn't need to be raising you as well. I would love to hear her side of the stories and I highly doubt she is as bad as you say she is. Either YOU get counseling or do her the favor and divorce her. I'm not saying this to be mean but you really do need to see someone fast. Link to post Share on other sites
hotchildinthecity Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 Break up with her and let her find someone who can love her. Link to post Share on other sites
Chinook Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 and they wonder why the divorce rate is so high..? (sigh) Link to post Share on other sites
Sand&Water Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 I really think that I hate my Wife. I have forever had issues with her, but lately I have found my self less and less able to snap right back after an argument. Those two sentences say it all. Hate is a harsh, and intense word. I don't understand - How did you develop such feelings towards your pregnant wife? Why would you decide to jeopardize your entire marriage, by making a baby if your relationship with your wife has not been going smoothly? You sound like a young man, in a state of confusion. It is likely that you've associated these major life changing events with 'spur of moment, lets see how far I can go' type of idea. You have a lot to discover about pregnancy, your wife, and most importantly about how to form a healthy marriage. Please talk to your wife, she deserves to know the status of your feelings, and marriage. Consult a professional counsellor. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 I agree that you sound like someone in deep trouble. This is not about your wife. It's about you. Please go see a counsellor very soon before you do something awful to your wife, the child, or yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 When I read this thread, my jaw dropped. I also remember the thread about "I Love My Wife So Much!" Then I went back thru your posts to see what your history has been since then. It was interesting to say the least. Let me list some posts of yours... First, from one of your first posts here...you mention that "Her own brother was witness to her overreactions and evilness and when we were alone asked me, "do you really want to marry that?"" Second, in that same post you mentioned that "She has slapped me on more than one occasion, kicked me, pulled a knife on me and held it up to my neck and of coarse insults me constantly and never apolagizes or thanks me." (All quotes are printed as you shared them...spelling and all). Third, February 15th you made the decision and pronounced to the world, "Just wanted to tell the world that I married the woman I love." Fourth, on February 21, you again proclaimed your faithfulness, "How much do I love you, enough to forgive? Yes, I do. And in her case, although the roles are interchangeable, how much do I love you, enough to say I'm sorry. Yes, I do." Fifth, on February 24th you again repeated your vow, "I am a happily married man with intention of staying that way for life." Sixth, a little over a month later on March 28th, you stated with conviction and passion, "I knew, I'm a dork but me love just keeps growing with every nice thing I find out about her and with every time she persously does something healthy for our relationship. Every time I see an effort to making things better dispite her self or what the world might think. Every time she is honest even if it's going to piss me off. Every time she finds me in the pile of blankets when I'm having a nightmare. Every time she holds me when I'm sick. Every time she asks me what's wrong. Every time she gets mad at her Mom or Grandma for saying something bad about me or when they are mean to me. Every time I screw up and she forgives me. Every time she screws up and admits it and tries to harder not to do it again." Seventh, in a note of congrats to another poster, you stated, " Congrats. 10 years is no joke, a huge deal. Hope to someday be able to post my own 10 year anniv announcement someday." Now after this, is where it all seems to change. Please note what your posts are about... Eighth, on May 15th in response to another post, you mention your wife's pregnancy and lack of interest for sex, " OMG, I was so glad to see a thread on sex after pregnancy because my Wife is newly pregnant and already we are not having sex, at all." Nineth, in another response to a poster, "I feel as if I’m doomed to never being sexually happy ever again inside of this marriage and I don’t want you to feel the same." Tenth, on May 24th you posted two negative comments regarding your marriage and sex life, "I am having a baby with my Wife, she is pregnant right now and I don't want to do the whole absentee parent thing or else I'd dump her right now. I really have no choice but to stay around but I hate her so much for lying and am her enemy right now. She is in for me hurting her, first chance I get." and, "No, when I do cheat on her it will be because of her sexual neglect, selfishness and inconsideration, not because of her indiscretions." (In the last comment, notice the use of the words "when I cheat..."). Eleventh, I did not mark it or quote it, but there was a post regarding a physical and "left me by the side of the road" fight between you and your wife. There was another post how you would treat her like a jerk when you felt she was treating you like a jerk. Twelveth, the final post I will quote here is very insightful and of course, one sided, "Very insightful but one reason that was not represented here and the reason I stopped trying to talk with my Wife is the fact that she can not look at things logically or see things from any other perspective other that her own." What are we to make of all of this? How can you go from good to bad in less than six months? It seems to start with your lack of sex during her pregnancy...or is this just a symptom? I know you have been married before, I know you lost a child thru cancer, and I also know that you are 16 years older than her. There are so many factors that can be at the root of your problems. I do not think you are "sicko" as someone else quite childishly posted. This Board is here so that we may all vent in times of frustration. It has been very helpful to me, and I am always grateful. But on the other hand, you knew going into this marriage what you had. She cheated on you while you were dating, she was physically violent with you prior to marriage, she lied to you during your whole relationship...yet you procalimed that you were in love with her more than once. At the beginning you say she admits when she is wrong...later you say she cannot say she is sorry. Can you understand our puzzlement? I don't have alot of answers for you. Yes, I have been married for 16 years (your wife was five when I was married), and I have gone thru five pregnancies (and no, I don't like her pregnant), and I went for almost five years with a sex life that was lacking to say the least. But I know that your background is not mine. What I can say is that when the feelings of love die, then the actions of commitment must take over. When anger and hatred seem to over whelm your every thought of her, then rational objectivity must set in and logically remind you of why you married her, and why you proclaimed from the housetops that you loved her. Let me close by sharing my post again that I posted to your announcement on February 15 regarding your marriage to the woman that you loved: "May you have the strength to remember that feeling of love when the times get tough. May you remember that you stated a vow in front of friends, family, and above all..God..stating that you will love her for better or for worse. Enjoy all of the good times that will come your way, and forget all of the bad times...but learn from them. I wish you the best. Read these threads to know what to do and not do. Remember, marriage is for better and forever." Thank you for listening. And do remember, like everyone else here, we are friends who are here to listen and to give feedback...hopefully, positive criticism. Hang in there...the first two years are the hardest. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 James, that was an excellent post reply! Link to post Share on other sites
HeyYouGuys Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 and kill her and your offspring. You are a SICKO. She's better off without you. Excuse me? He's angry and feeling like he 'hates' her. Guess what? It happens in marriage sometimes. People have anger and communication issues and those 'hate' feelings can bubble to the surface. It's your body and mind's way of telling you, 'Hey, biiiiiiiig problem here' I suggest get to counseling and try to deal with the underlying issues that are causing you to feel this way. It's miserable feeling trapped into a relationship with someone you don't like or respect. You may be able to fix this, however. Give it your best shot before calling it quits. Link to post Share on other sites
Luvmykids Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 Heres my question. He lost a child to cancer right? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that she is pregnant. I mean losing a child is the most horrific thing I can think of. Maybe he is scared, and placing his fears on his wife. Im not a psychologist or anything. Just wondering if maybe that has something to do with his attitude now. Has he ever delt with losing his child in the right way? Is there really a right way? Maybe he needs some counseling to deal with some issues...including anger. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 My girlfriend Maris went through a lot of emotional swings when she got pregnant. It was really confusing for her husband, because they had a very loving relationship before her pregnancy. Anyway, she had complications and ended up on bedrest. She had no sexual desire and I don't think she was supposed to be having sex anyway. She couldn't work and she was horribly bored. Her husband became very anxious because he was worried about bills. They started to fight a lot. More than once she'd tell me how much she 'hated' the sight of him. This was the guy she'd been madly madly passionately in love with, just six months earlier! She said she felt disgusted by his body and the way he talked, the way he walked heavily around the house. She hated his smell, even. Her hormones were completley out of wack. Because she was so miserable, he picked fights with her. He was miserable too. Sometimes very difficult pregnancies can strain couples to the breaking point. I suggest the original poster seek some supportive counseling and talk to to other couples about dealing with pregnancy and major life changes. Oh and my friend Maris, by the way...she and her husband are doing just fine now. Link to post Share on other sites
typical Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 I wonder if it has to do with the lack of sex or the company you have been keeping, either way your words are very powerful. When it gets to that point, that your skin is crawling, you need to do something and do it quick before you blow and unleash some serious consequences in your wake. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 I remember some of this guys old posts and his wife was like this before they were even married so I doubt the pregnancy has much to do with it. I just wonder why he even married her. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 I myself am 6 months pregnant and to be honest with you, the feelings you have towards your wife are unfair. I'm not just saying this because i'm pregnant but because it's man like you that make woman like me very unhappy in life. How would you feel if you found out how she feels about you. Or how she maybe unhappy with her sex life. You yourself may not be this perfect man that doesn't make mistakes. I bet that your wife has put up with alot with you and yet she's still with you. Maybe your the reason why your wife is the way she is. Maybe it's just that your scared of being a father and not a good enough husband to her that your feeling like this.You never know what you have until you lose it to someone else. Let me tell you something Karma always comes around and it hurts 3x more. Be honest with her and let her go it's not always about you or her anymore now it's all about that baby and what life is it going to live in. Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 "I really think that I hate my Wife." Well, they say the opposite of love isn't hate. It is indifference. I think the OP needs serious help though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author carmaenforcer Posted July 21, 2006 Author Share Posted July 21, 2006 Thank you all for taking the time to respond. James, wow, really nice how you took the time to see the past posts and you seem to be a very insightful person, thank you. HeyYouGuys, thanks. Hate is a strong word but the only one I could think of at the time that said out load how I was feeling inside. My Wife's sexual apetite came back, she was just going through a lot of morning sickness issues that lasted about 3 months. I'm sorry I'm at work on a public internet terminal and need to get back to my office, but I will be back. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 I'm glad to hear things are abit better. And that you know a vent is a vent...You are right, hate is a strong word, but it's an emotion that is felt out of anger and frustration. I do hope you two keep up the communication...Or atleast you should think about joining a gym or do a sport you love! It is good to have a physical outlet when life gets stressful! Hang in there. Link to post Share on other sites
ridingthebulls Posted July 22, 2006 Share Posted July 22, 2006 I know pregnant women will have hormone issues and be hard to deal with but she was that way before pregnancy and now she's just an irritatingly painful idiot. Why did you marry her then? Link to post Share on other sites
ridingthebulls Posted July 22, 2006 Share Posted July 22, 2006 First, from one of your first posts here...you mention that "Her own brother was witness to her overreactions and evilness and when we were alone asked me, "do you really want to marry that?"" Second, in that same post you mentioned that "She has slapped me on more than one occasion, kicked me, pulled a knife on me and held it up to my neck and of coarse insults me constantly and never apolagizes or thanks me." (All quotes are printed as you shared them...spelling and all). Third, February 15th you made the decision and pronounced to the world, "Just wanted to tell the world that I married the woman I love." WTF. WHy did you marry a crazy person? Link to post Share on other sites
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