MIGHT have caught my girlfriend cheating...

[Guest]

Hello.

 

I have been dating my current girlfriend for 8 months now. We have reached the part of our relationship where we say "I love you". Also, she has big issues with anything that has to do with my ex-girlfriend. (for example, she refused to sleep over at my place until I got rid of a guitar which was a gift from my ex).

 

So, last night, I had an important meeting that turned out to be very successful. I wanted to surprise my girlfriend with the good news, so I went to her favorite store and bought lots of chocolate. When I arrived at her apartment, all the lights were off. The door was double locked (very rare) and she would not answer the doorbell after two rings.

I assumed she was asleep, so I unlocked the door (I have a key).

As I walked up the stairs, I heard a loud BANG, like something falling on the floor, then my girlfriend rushed down the stairs. She was visibly drunk and began to hold me back so i could not climb the stairs and enter her room.

 

"Leave now. You have to leave now." she said.

 

"I brought you chocolates. Are you okay?"

 

"No. Go away now!"

 

She kept pushing me down the stairs. I looked up and saw a head poke out for a quick second, then disappear back into the bedroom.

 

I suddenly realised what was going on.

 

"Is this really happening?", I asked her.

 

She sat on the stairs and began to cry.

 

I ran up to the bedroom, only to find her previous boyfriend, standing akwardly next to the bed.

 

"You must be Steve," I asked.

 

"Hi." he replied.

 

"I'm Adam". I extended my arm and we shook hands.

 

"Pretty bizarre circumstances to meet, isn't it?" I asked.

 

"Yeah," he replied.

 

I stood there for a second, then walked back down the stairs and left, shocked.

 

My girlfriend chased after me.

 

"Wait- it's not what you think!" she pleaded.

 

I walked toward my car.

 

"If you're smart, you'll stay the **** away from me right now," I said.

 

She wouldn't. She kept following me, crying. Telling me that she loved me and nothing happened. All I could do was laugh at her.

 

After more begging for me to listen to her explaination, I declined, got into my car and drove home.

 

That's what happened.

 

My question to you all expeprienced daters is.. whas she cheating on me? or where they just hanging out, watching movies on her bed? Either way, even if they were just watching movies on her bed, drinking in the dark, with the doors locked, and keeping it a secret from me- isn't that just as bad as cheating?

 

Think about it. If she neglected to tell me her ex was coming over, and when I arrived, she kept trying to get me out of the place, she was obviously acting guilty of SOMETHING that she did not want me to find out.

 

Another thing- I recently saw text messages between the two of them that used lots of terms of endearment. When I approached her with this, she got mad at me for snooping into her cellphone and assured me that I didn't have to worry about him (Steve). That was last weekend.

 

One more little thing I want to add- I went to her place when she was at work today to pick up some stuff. I opened the bedside drawer and found 4 new condoms inside. This is strange because they were not there this past weekend and we don't even use condoms because she is on the pill...

 

I'm too ashamed to share this with my friends, and I really thought I loved this girl and that she loved me.

 

Someone please let me know your thoughts on the situation. Am I being overly paranoid, or is this all legitimate reason for breaking up?

 

Thank you,

 

Adam

[samsungxoxo]

Those are indeed very clear signs that she did cheat on you, well now that you know it, don't ever take her back, you'll have migraines if you do. If it's not what you think it is like she tells you then why was too crying after you found her ex? In fact what was her ex doing there in her apartment, what was she drunk and refusing you to let you in?? If she wasn't guilty of nothing then she wouldn't have been acting so nervous nor in a panic. Time to ditch her, even if she didn't cheated, the whole lying is enough.

[tikigods]

Wow I hope you dumped her to the curb that she belongs in and find someone worth your time

[theantibarbie23]

there is no MIGHT, her actions are a dead giveaway.

[norajane]

Yes, she's cheating. It's actually good that you found condoms, but you should go to your doctor and get tested for STD's immediately.

 

As to what you do now, well, personally, I would say dump her. There's no point in continuing this relationship unless you don't mind that she's having sex with other people.

[purspeed]

I feel your pain. Your girlfriend suffers from low self-esteem (most people do) and the time when you started saying "I love you" to eachother is probably about the time she got "bored" and lost her fascination with you.

 

Our country is filled with beautiful women (all the ugly women are abroad), so if she has cute friends, now's the time, babe.

[nicki]

I'm sorry this has happened to you.

 

She is most definitely cheating. The signs are so very clear. I know it sounds wierd, but that's a good thing, because so many people get iffy signs that can be easily explained away....but they always wonder if their SO cheated, and that is hell, too.

 

It's good that you found out now. She could have hidden this from you for a very long time and wasted years of your life.

 

Sorry. Consider this a gift that saved you from making a huge further mistake with her, like marriage.

 

There ARE good women out there who are trustworthy who will be YOUR equal. She is not the one for you. Never talk to her again, ever. She will beg you to listen to her reasons and work things out....Don't answer your phone or door. Cut her out of your life like you would a cancer.

 

Big hug to you. You will feel better after you get through the pain.

[Craig]

Yeah, 99.99997% she cheated. And that's a reason to dump her.

 

If she didn't cheat she was keeping secrets from you. And that's a reason to dump her.

 

If she didn't cheat and was intending to tell you about her ex being over at a later time then it's clear she has an emotional connection to him and isn't emotionally with you. And that's a reason to dump her.

 

If she didn't cheat and didn't intend to have any secrets re her ex and doesn't have an emotional connection with him that gets in the way of her being with you then she sure acted guilty as heck. And that's a reason to dump her.

 

Consider yourself very lucky to have found this out about her before you got more involved emotionally.

 

Best of luck.

[tanbark813]

Like everyone else has said, of course she was cheating.

 

On a side note, you should have dropped her when she asked you to get rid of the guitar.

[a4a]

Like everyone else has said, of course she was cheating.

 

On a side note, you should have dropped her when she asked you to get rid of the guitar.

 

so true Tan....that is a big fat sign of future hell to come.

[morrigan]

Yes, she's cheating. It's actually good that you found condoms, but you should go to your doctor and get tested for STD's immediately.

 

There's not much left in a relationship that started with her being insecure and jealous over your past, but feeling justified in carrying on with her ex. The guitar was much more valuable. . .