gbloom Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 My BF and I have been together for almost three years and for the first 1.5 to 2 years we were great. Very affectionate, saying I love you, and great intimacy. Almost 7 months ago we moved in together, the affection, I love you, and "great" intimacy has stopped. When I asked if he is happy he says "absolutely", when I ask why everything has stopped he says "I see you everyday it's hard to get excited every time I walk in the door, would you like me to do cartwheels"? I miss the old us. On top of that he was in college and became really good friends with a female (before we even started dating) and for the three years we have been together they have never been in contact, my dilemma-last week she emailed him saying she got a job close to his job and now they could actually start seeing eachother again. He was so excited to tell me and all I kept thinking was when we first met this is the girl he said throughout school he had a crush on but she just wanted to be friends. Now I don't know how to feel and with everything that has changed already in the relationship plus this I don't know what to do anymore. When I tried to talk to him he just said it's not his problem I'm insecure, is he right? Feeling totally lost!! Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 I'm not sure about this girl he knew, but as far as you living together, it has become comfortable. It happens sometimes. When you all date, and don't live together, then when you do see each other its a little more exciting. Not that its not exciting when you live together, but you see each other everyday, etc, so the newness of it all begins to wear off. Theres really nothing wrong with it. As far as this girl, I would just sit tight about it for now. He did tell you about it, which is probably a good sign. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
mariJane Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 ya mixing in you were already insecure about how things were feeling it would be very easy to go over board insecure, watch your mouth and your thoughts and do not creat e a problem with this girl if there isnt one already, take your guy out on a date and stay focused on keeping those thoughts out of your head so you can enjoy his company and try and spice this up. word? do that, and really i have a lot of guy friends but if i had a guy i wouldn't change anything about my relations with them. Link to post Share on other sites
megnog Posted July 22, 2006 Share Posted July 22, 2006 the fact that he had a crush on her and SHE was the one that turned him down is what gets me. hes allowed to have female friends but there is always that chance that he still actually has a crush on her. it IS a good thing he told you, infact thats great news that he didn't try to hide her from you. make sure you are included in some of their activities and maybe she could be a mutual friend of yours.. him saying that its not his problem that your insecure is a little bit insensitive. i hope he isn't always like that. it IS his problem because he is WITH you and you guys need to work that out. you're feeling insecure for, IMO, fairly good reason. however, being a little bit jealous is fine. don't cross that line into craziness because they are just friends. if he starts to spend more time with her than you THEN you raise all hell anyway.. maybe she has a boyfriend and ya'll could double date?? i'm sure your bf wouldn't put any moves on her Link to post Share on other sites
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