Having problems with my future Mother-n-law and sister-in-law

[girly456]

We r to be married in a few short weeks(Aug 19).

 

It's his 2nd wedding and we r a mix race couple.

 

Things were ok until a few weeks ago and got really bad last weekend at my shower. It was the first time r families were going to meet. My MIL and SIL were 2hrs late for a 3hr event. My MIL was suppost to bring a cake, showed up with nothing. Told me she forgot about the shower. Told my family it was to hot to cook. She also had no gift in hand. That didn't bother me, but it did my Mom. My mom felt like it was wrong of her not to at last go buy one to bring. ( It was ronly desert to be served). I guess my mom wanted to go get one when she realized what had happened.

MIL also told my sister it's not a tradition in thier family to have showers, so that is why she didn't bring a gift. They do wishing well weddings and talked to my maid-of-honer about putting that together. Again that's fine, nice of her to suggest.

 

She also has issue with my guy not inviting one of his sisters. She keeps bring it up to me that she thinks its wrong, and doesn't understand why he feels the way he does, even after they have already talked about it, and she said she wouldn't bring it up again. Well I just say Its what he wants. I said something about her bring it up to me again to him and he said something to her, well she got mad saying "Why does she tell u everything."

 

I feel like they don't respect me or our relationship. my SIL has said in the past that when I feel I need to run something by him that she has asked me she blows up, "Why do u think he's a god or something. Can't u make a dission for yourself. What is wrong with u."

 

Iv'e talk it over with friends and they seem to think maybe its a jelousy issue on thier parts.

Both may feel they r losing him to me or that they wish they were in good relationships. I have never known either to be in a good relationship to where they have respect for the men they r with. I never hear anything positive from either.

 

I just feel like I'm at my wits end. because of everything, my man just wants run off and get married before the 19 and forget his family. He said he doesn't even want them there now. He hates the way they both treat me.

 

I don't want to come between him and the women in his family.But I think it's great he's standing by me. What do u all think?

[Guest]

They don't have to like you but they must respect you! I feel that it was wrong of them to not only show up late to your shower but to not bring the cake fine granted even if they didn't bring gifts they should have at least brought the cake. the excuse they gave was very lame also just becuase it is not your tridition to celebrate something does not mean you can't participate. The sister must not know what it is to be in a serious relationship because all decisions should be made mutually so no there is nothing wrong with you. the only thing I can tell you is don't stoop to their level no matter how upset they get you.

 

You should not feel like you are coming between your man and his family because if he felt that way believe me you would know. He is defending you and he hates the way they treat you so they are the ones who will be to blame if he decides not to have anything to do with them although don't encourage him to do that. You must be the bigger and better person in this situation. Your man is taking your side which means he is well aware of the situatiion. He knows your great so who cares what they think. It could just be envy Some people are just not happy and they want to spread it. MISERY LOVES COMPANY!

 

Don't change your wedding plans trust me me and my husband chose to just run off and get married because of all the drama and it was a beautiful ceremony and all but it was also kind of sad because my family or our friends could not be there. Have the wedding you guys intended to have with both your family and friends there. Sometimes this just might pass with time and if not then take it easy and be as respectful as you can be, Especialy to the MIL. Even though MY MIL AND SIL are the way they are I don't disrespect them.

 

I just decide that I am not going to be bothered with them I encourage My husband to keep a realtionship with them even though they treat me and my child like we don't exist because in the end GOD DOES NOT LIKE UGLY! what's bad is that my husband knows and he gets upset but he won't say anything I feel like he does not defend me yes this makes me upset.

 

But it does not cause problems in our relationship because He knows its not me and I guess he really does not know how to go about it. IN the end I do feel we are better off because I wouldn't want to have a relationship with someone who acts one way in front of you then cuts you down the minute you turn your back. Take it easy I know it is kind of sad because you figure wow I am getting married and now I am gainning a second family and they are acting like that. Take it easy and you never things just might changed.