Buzz Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 Before I met my fiance I use to have quite the nightlife/social life. Since we met a year ago I haven't gone out like I use to. I do like to on occassion, but every time I or we go out we end up in an argument. He doesn't like to socialize or go out at all. I'm not flirtatious or do anything to disrespect him or myself. Last weekend we agreed on me going out with my girlfriend and he was the designated driver. In stead, he brought the car back to me with an angry attitude and I found other means of transportation. I still like to socialize and I love my fiance. I really think we were made for each other. This is our only fall back. Do I give up my once in awhile social life to save my relationship??? I think I have made a compromise by not doing it all the time like when we first met. Now he expects me to not go out or even have some wine at home. He has a very strong belief in the gospel and so do I. He seems to believe I as a Christian shouldn't drink at all. Or hang out! We have tried discussing it. We will agree and then I get an attitude when I comply or take his word he is okay with me going out. He will find something wrong with it like I was too late or something? Help!!! Buzz Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 People who control others in the name of the Lord are the pitts. I wouldn't take it. If you think he's controlling now, wait until you get married. Stand up for yourself and do what you want to do, within reason. As long as you are reasonable and balanced in your relationship, he shouldn't have grounds for a beef. If you have to change for somebody in order to be in a relationship with them, it's a bad relationship. Now there are times when positive change is called for, like giving up drugs or something, but when somebody asks you to give up going with friends and socializing, there is a serious incompatibility that will haunt you all the days of your life. Since you are somewhat religious, you may not believe in divorce. If you don't believe in divorce or consider it sinful, you better take a real close look at this situation. Your guy is controlling and he doesn't like some of the same things you do. If you can't handle that, you got the wrong guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Buzz Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 Tony, I would like to thank you for your response. I was told today by someone else giving advice that in the eyes of my man and society that a married woman or engaged woman has no business being out. It's very isolated here in Ely. Most of the socializing is done in bars or casinos. I mainly go out when our local bands perform. I like live music because I am a musician. So is my fiance' but he hates the bars. We seem to have enough in common other than this current situation. I'm going to seriously reevaluate my relationship. I would prefer him to go with me, but just because he doesn't like to I don't see why I can't go occassionally. Thanks again for your help - BUZZ Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts