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please help me, I don't want to lose my 9 year relationship!!!


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I have known my boyfriend for 10 years now (we are high school sweet hearts)!!! We had a relationship (semi-serious one) on and off for 8 years, we were together, but then we weren't and then we were. In 2004 we went for a 2 month trip around South America and our true love blossomed. Since then he moved city to be with me.

 

We moved here January 2005 and we lived togther with his brother for just over a year. Although we were both in love I felt I was carrying the relationship. I was the one taking care of things and had to support and carry him. Don't get me wrong, he is a great guy but sometimes he was not very attentive or showed how much he cared.

 

February this year I started talking to a friend about my situation (he had recently broken up with his 4 year girlfriend) and we got closer. This friend has been a close family-friend (from my boyfirend's side).

As more time whent by I was more and more unhappy with my boyfriend. We never did anythign together, we just sat at home. This friend looked like he could be somthing more than just a friend as he made me laugh.

 

3 weeks ago I moved out. I felft I had given the relationship all I had and need to stand on my own 2 feet for a while. I moved in with this friend (looking back now it just looks like the wrost decision I ever made).

We got quite close and unfortunately slept together once.

 

His family talk and gossip a lot. My boyfriends brother started interferring trying to find out how much was going on between this freind and me. He involved my boyfirend who is now hurting! I wish I could have spared him all this.

 

I now find myself knowing how much i love my boyfirend, i would give anything up to have him back. He says he needs space and time to heal. I want to try and honour that, as thats what he needs now, but at the thoguht that I (me, the one who loves him so much) has put him through hell and had potentially damaged our relationship forever is killing me!

 

What can I do, i need and want to be with him. Nothing else matters. I truely believe we are soulmates and are meant to be with one another.

 

Please help me! thnaks for reading!

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I guess just make sure he knows how you feel about him, and then back off. Chances are, he still loves you too; he's just not going to let you off the hook so easily.

 

But ask yourself this question: Did you want him this bad when you were together? Probably not. We want what we can't have. Make sure you're not making a mistake by pursuing this couch potato again. Once you get back with him, it might not be a couple weeks before you start to regret it all over again.

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you are in a tough situation. your actions of moving out and then sleeping with your friend was not right. you got to respect your bf's decision and giving him time to heal. during this time , you have keep in touch with him and overemphasize how much you care for him and stuff ( if you really do so ).Whether he will get over the fact of your actions is dependent on his nature which only you can make a call.

Also you need to move out of the friends place to show to your bf you are making the right kind of moves and efforts to improve the relationship between the two of you. If he is worth everything you have mentioned and i belive 9 yrs is a pretty long time to make that call , you will have to a do a lot to convince him n his family that you will be true to him and faithful from now on.

Good Luck

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