I think I should stay...but should I?

[lost in love(?)]

I know, I know, the whole "if you have to question it, it's not the right thing. But just maybe it it.

 

I am 21 years old, as is my boyfriend. I care for him a great deal and I think I may even love him. The reason for my confusion is a drunken conversation we had one night about 6 months ago. I was drunk and decided that it would be a good idea to harass him about how he felt about me. (mind you we had only been together for about 2 months at the time) and he told me that he could not fall in love with me or anyone for a long time.

 

This really hurt me because I took it completly literally. Now that I think about it, I really think that he was just scared. He had been in a relationship with a girl that treated him badly and heavily abused drugs. They had a hard breakup and I think that scarred him for life. I don't use drugs and I am very easygoing. I get along very well with all of his friends and I don't subject him to my friends that he doesn't like. He asked me out for about three weeks from the time he met me until I finally said yes to him and we have bben together ever since. He didn't go to the bar with his friends on his 21st like he had planned because I was not 21 at the time and I could not go with him. (We had been dating for about a week at that time.) He told me later that week that he gets attached to people very easily and he could feel that happening with me.

 

He takes wonderful care of me, although I do not expect him to. He is nicer to me than he is to any of his friends and he is more conncerned of my happiness than he is of his own. We do almost everything together and stay the night together most nights.

 

I guess my outlook is - just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean that they don't love you with all that they have. I know that's they way I feel about him.

 

I am not looking for someone to marry and spend the rest of my life with, just someone to have the time of my life with.

 

Am I stupid for staying in this situation?

[crzynlv]

I am not really that good with advice but when I read your problem I seem to have related. I am in a relationship of two years and when I first met my current boyfriend he told me that he didnt want to get involved in a relationship period, he just wanted to date around. Well that intire time we were dating he wasnt seeing anyone else, and about eight months later he told me he had fallen in love with me. We now live together and plan on getting married soon.

 

My advice to you is stick it out a while, not forever, as long as he isnt direspecting you. Just dont push him into something he may not want too fast. And when you feel like you are tired of having the time of your life and want to spend the rest of you life with that special someone and he isnt, then it may be time to move on.

I know, I know, the whole "if you have to question it, it's not the right thing. But just maybe it it. I am 21 years old, as is my boyfriend. I care for him a great deal and I think I may even love him. The reason for my confusion is a drunken conversation we had one night about 6 months ago. I was drunk and decided that it would be a good idea to harass him about how he felt about me. (mind you we had only been together for about 2 months at the time) and he told me that he could not fall in love with me or anyone for a long time. This really hurt me because I took it completly literally. Now that I think about it, I really think that he was just scared. He had been in a relationship with a girl that treated him badly and heavily abused drugs. They had a hard breakup and I think that scarred him for life. I don't use drugs and I am very easygoing. I get along very well with all of his friends and I don't subject him to my friends that he doesn't like. He asked me out for about three weeks from the time he met me until I finally said yes to him and we have bben together ever since. He didn't go to the bar with his friends on his 21st like he had planned because I was not 21 at the time and I could not go with him. (We had been dating for about a week at that time.) He told me later that week that he gets attached to people very easily and he could feel that happening with me.

 

He takes wonderful care of me, although I do not expect him to. He is nicer to me than he is to any of his friends and he is more conncerned of my happiness than he is of his own. We do almost everything together and stay the night together most nights. I guess my outlook is - just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean that they don't love you with all that they have. I know that's they way I feel about him.

 

I am not looking for someone to marry and spend the rest of my life with, just someone to have the time of my life with. Am I stupid for staying in this situation?

 

[Ed]

Are you having the time of your life? If you are, I don't see any reason to change anything.