Guest Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 My boyfriend's ex girl-friend called him at 1h30am last night... I kind of thought it was weird since he once told me that he just kept receiving those ''confidential phone calls'' and he'd rather not answer since he thought it was her.... If he was sincere about what he said, then why would he even answer at that time of the night.... Supposedly she had a flat tire and didn't knew anyone else. My question is: ''why didn't she called the towing company??!?''' Do I have the right to be a little jealous or am I paranoid? I know that this guy would never cheat on me and he's been nothing but sweet but we've only been going out for a couple of months and I'm scared of getting hurt by loving someone who only uses me as a rebound or something? Second option is that this guy is a great guy and she knows she can do whatever she wants with him. If that's the case, is it even worth it for me to ask him to put his pants on or should he do that by himself without me asking for it (otherwise if I have to ''ask'' for it, isn't it meaningless??!?)... Is there a third option I haven't seen? I kind of asked him what his feelings were for that girl and he obviously told me that he cares about her as a sister but he's not in love with her anymore and that I'm the best thing that happened to him for a long time.... Am I overreacting? Link to post Share on other sites
PandorasBox Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 So did he get up and go help her with her car? Shes looking for a reason to still be in contact with him. I think the main thing is not to be so worried about her, but how it is HE reacts to her. Is he there for her everytime she calls or needs him? If he jumps everytime she says how high, then thats a problem. Link to post Share on other sites
bab Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 ut what he said, then why would he even answer at that time of the night.... Supposedly she had a flat tire and didn't knew anyone else. My question is: ''why didn't she called the towing company??!?''' Because towing companies cost $$$$. If he hasn't given you anything to worry about, trust him. Let him handle it in his own way. Link to post Share on other sites
typical Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 Supposedly she had a flat tire and didn't knew anyone else. Or at least she didnt know anyone else that she still wanted that had moved on already that has a GF now that she could antagonize, instigate, control and manipulate. If he was sincere about what he said, then why would he even answer at that time of the night. Dont worry, I am sure it was all part of a carefully organized plan. Couple of questions: 1. Did he go? 2. If the answer to number 1 is yes, then when did he return? 3. How long has it been since they broke up? Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 She probably could have called someone else, unless she doesn't have any other friends at all. Is that the case, your b/f is her only friend? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 No, he did not go fortunately! They broke up about 4 months before we started dating.... I don't know if she calls him that often (and therefore if he's always there for her).... Like I said, we only started dating a couple of months ago so it's not been that long.... We've been seing each other practically everyday but we don't have the same work schedule so he might talk to her while I'm at work, I have no clue and to be honest, I've never really ask myself the question.... The thing is the way he was talking about her (i.e: she wasn't that nice, moody, etc.... doesn't want to have anything to do with her anymore) when we first met and the way he was acting on the phone yesterday looked like two different things.... Like when he came back, he was litterally telling me how pitiful she was and blah blah blah.... Far from his original story! Maybe it's just me overanalyzing or something.... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 So did he get up and go help her with her car? Shes looking for a reason to still be in contact with him. I think the main thing is not to be so worried about her, but how it is HE reacts to her. Is he there for her everytime she calls or needs him? If he jumps everytime she says how high, then thats a problem. I totally agree with you! That's why I'm asking myself all of these question.... I don't have anything against her... In fact I haven't even met her once and I honestly think that she's not the one who owes me something.... That's why I wanted to have some neutral opinions about wheither or not I should be worried about my BF attitude... Is there anything to be worried about or am I being paranoid? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 22, 2006 Share Posted July 22, 2006 How long did they go out for? If they went out for a while then he could be just a good friend to her. She might be looking for ways for them to be able to talk without getting him into trouble with you. What you should do is meet her. If it is okay with him of course. Then you would see what she is like in person. That way you can get a read from her on what she wants. If she just wants to be friends or what not. You should trust your bf. Next time she gets a flat tell him you'd like to go with to help or just keep him company. That way she will see you are there and she is not. If he said you are the best thing that ever happened to him then you should listen and trust him unless he gives you a reason. But I think everything is fine. Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted July 22, 2006 Share Posted July 22, 2006 You said that he was talking about her differently then he had before... Its probably a matter of you got the quick version of the story about who the ex is. Moody, not nice, etc. But people aren't so simple, or one sided. There were things about this girl that he once loved. They were overshadowed by her bad traits and that's why they broke up. Doesn't mean she doesn't still have good parts. No one's black and white. It doesn't sound like he hates her. But I'm not seeing anything that says he still loves her, or desires her. He probably wishes she would move on. So if he's talking about her as "pathetic", then it seems like more of an expression of sorrow that she can't find her own life. That she still has to call him, and it probably makes him feel bad to abandon her to the wolves. But you are more important to him, then her, and he knew that by helping her he would jeapordize his relationship with you. In my opinion, it doesn't sound as if you have anything to worry about. I think you need to let him deal with the situation as best he can, and be supportive and listen to him when he needs to talk. It's hard when your ex won't let go. At least for me it was. But I'm not seeing anything in your posts that would raise any red flags. To me, it sounds as if he's attempting to find a balance in being polite and sending a firm no. Link to post Share on other sites
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