roadrun007 Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 In my previous post: "I screwed up" I talked about hurting this girl several times with my lies. The last lie and deceat ended us. She has asked for time to determine even if she can be my friend, and knows we will never be in a relationship again. I screwed up really bad. I since been working really hard (only two days now) on working on my lying. I spend each day writing in a journal, focusing on my issues at hand. I feel this has really helped me alot. The problem is it might be too late. I let her down one too many times and I don't think I will ever get her back. Previous times I screw up, we have a fight, and over some time we get back. But this time is different. We don't talk but very rarely, she is beyond hurt with me. I want her back more than anything. I don't know how you can prove a person has changed when he has let you down so many times in the past. I need her. Anyone out there, help me. How much space do I give? Is there a chance with us? Can love conquer all? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Man im goin through that same situation now. Im still in love wit my girl too, tryin to get her back but it seems hopeless. All i can say is have faith and pray. It may take a looong time from now but if truly love her and care about her it'll happen. Just DONT GIVE UP! Link to post Share on other sites
Kengne Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 We don't talk but very rarely, she is beyond hurt with me. I want her back more than anything. I don't know how you can prove a person has changed when he has let you down so many times in the past. I need her. Anyone out there, help me. How much space do I give? Is there a chance with us? Can love conquer all? No, love does not conquer all. It takes more than love to make a rel'ship work. And what, exactly, were you lying and deceitful about? Was it just small little things, or bigger things (e.g. talking or messing with other girls, cheating etc...). Because that will affect the outcome. Second - you've only been 'changed' for 2 days. Hardly enough time for her to gauge if you are sincere or not. If she has asked for space - give her that space. Because the harder you push for more, the harder she will pull away. K. Link to post Share on other sites
Author roadrun007 Posted July 31, 2006 Author Share Posted July 31, 2006 The lies weren't about cheating or seeing other girls. It was more like I would screw up, like make up a hidden IM name, and then lie about it to cover it up. I know everyone says to give the space and if you keep persisting you will just loose her even more. I am giving her the space she wants. Its taking everything inside of me to do it. I think though the space she is wanting is to get over me. To give her time to move on. I think this is completely over and she isn't coming back unless its to be a friend after she has gotton over me. Any advice? Is she gone forever? She told me this: I know we won't ever be together again, but I need space to see if I can be your friend or not. How much space does someone need to see if they can be someone elses friend after so long and so much love was in our relationship? Is she doing that cause maybe there is still a chance for us? Is this completely over and I need to move on? Any help again would be greatly appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 She told me this: I know we won't ever be together again, but I need space to see if I can be your friend or not. How much space does someone need to see if they can be someone elses friend after so long and so much love was in our relationship? Is she doing that cause maybe there is still a chance for us? Is this completely over and I need to move on? Any help again would be greatly appreciated. Take her for her word. She says you are both done, she is trying to forgive you and move on. Doesn't sound like she is even thinking about a second chance. She asked for space that's all you can do. Give it to her. Maybe she comes back but odds are she doesn't. You should continue to work on your lying problems and change for the better. At least if she does decide to try again you will be a better person and not the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Author roadrun007 Posted August 2, 2006 Author Share Posted August 2, 2006 I know I lost her. I know she will never come back. I will keep working on myself. I don't know if I can ever move forward. She was my everything. I am so lost, I am so devistated. I loved her more than life itself. How do you move on after that? I won't bother her, I will give her what she wants. I just lost what was a big part of me, there will always be a hole that can never be refilled. In three days it would have been our anniversary. What was the happiest day of my life, will become one of the saddest. I know I must be strong, but the pain is overwhelming. I fight it everyday. Hopefully one day I can over come it. Thankyou all for your comments. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 I know I lost her. I know she will never come back. I will keep working on myself. I don't know if I can ever move forward. She was my everything. I am so lost, I am so devistated. I loved her more than life itself. How do you move on after that? I won't bother her, I will give her what she wants. I just lost what was a big part of me, there will always be a hole that can never be refilled. In three days it would have been our anniversary. What was the happiest day of my life, will become one of the saddest. I know I must be strong, but the pain is overwhelming. I fight it everyday. Hopefully one day I can over come it. Thankyou all for your comments. You'll get over her and you will move on. In this caseyou have just learned a valuable lesson. It seems like life isn't worth living but go spend time with friends, focus on fixing yourself and work on being happy. Before you know it you will be new and improved and some other woman will come along. Someone who doesn't see you as a liar. Forget her for now because the only thing you have control over is yourself. Not her. Are you going to choose to be miserable or make lemonade with the lemons life has dealt you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author roadrun007 Posted August 2, 2006 Author Share Posted August 2, 2006 The problem is I can't get over her not just cause my strong feelings for her, but cause she told me to give her space and when she is ready she would call. That leaves me to believe there is still some grasmp of hope. Another thing, I got her a cell phone on my business plan, that way we could talk as much as we want, well that phone has become a symbol. See everytime we would fight, she always threaten to send it back. And its become that symbol, that once she does send it back, it is over. Well she still has it. As stupid as that sounds, that phone is giving me hope cause she still holds onto it. Maybe I am just looking for things to give me hope. I know that I can work on myself, make myself become a better person. I just can't move on. I sit and wait for that phone call or that cell phone to arrive one day in the mail. I wake up every morning and go to my email hoping there is one from her. I keep looking at my phone just incase I might have missed a text from her. While there is still hope, I must wait. I have been doing more things with my friends, trying to keep my mind off this as much as possible, just trying to waste time for that phone call. Link to post Share on other sites
Author roadrun007 Posted August 2, 2006 Author Share Posted August 2, 2006 I am learning. I must take responsibility for my actions and this is where I make my stand. I hurt her. I caused this hurt. She has asked for space, she said she will call when she is ready. I must honor that. She has a right to take as long as she needs. She has a right to end our friendship. She has a right to move on. I caused this in us. I didnt take responsibility before, I manipulated things so when I hurt her, it just go away instead of respecting her pain. I haven't been true to her feelings. I lie to cover up the hurt I cause. This only causes more hurt and lost of trust. I broke our trust so much I ended this relationship. I must work hard on myself to become a better person. We may never get back together, but thats my fault. If we do, I will be thankful forever. But in all actuality, it isnt going to happen. I must accept this. I must become stronger. If we were meant to be, than I must become that better person. I must use this time to strengthen myself, to work on myself. She will never see improvement if I don't improve. She needs to see that I am working on myself, and not just for her sake, but for mine. I need this throughout my whole life. Whomever I am suppose to be with, deserves this. I deserve this. Link to post Share on other sites
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