Porn And Soap Operas

[Guest]

I would like to propose an idea regarding the differences between men and women.

 

Lately I've been having problems with my girlfriend regarding her feelings about my porn use. I do like to look at sexy people sometimes. I'm 46 yrs old and do think 18-19 yr old girls can be very sexy!! Come on what guy doesn't?

I also think they can be boring and all kind of look the same and are probably doing what they're doing for all the wrong (unsexy) reasons. Since i was young i always loved older women and the older i get the more i appreciate their overall beauty. The character, strength in their face, yet they're softened, wiser way they have. They seem to have less to prove and more relaxed and thinking for themselves. That said alot of them want to get on their knees or backs etc and show everybody what they enjoy and that being strong ,assertive and empowered isnt everythig in life. Women seem to take things so personally regarding sex and everything has to be about them.

 

C'mon George Clooney, Brad Pitt - these guys aren't Michelangel or Van Gogh - they just appeal to women. Whatever age you are you have your own romantic icons that do the same for you. Why wasn't there a huge backlash from guys when girls were screaming and fainting everytime the Beatles showed their faces. Cause its fantasy and don't tell me its any different than guys fantasies, cause it all has the same result. Fulfilling various silly, emotional needs that the person you love can't fill (and shouldn't want to or have to).

 

Most women on the internet aren't that pretty BTW and if you were to track you're patrners' history they probably don't just look at one type of activity or woman so comparing yourself to them or wondering why you can't be everything to them is missing the point. I in fact I love the amatuer sites with regular girls that are just very naughty, fun etc. You could maybe get some ideas as to what he likes and incorporate that into your sex life or just say hey, i dont feel like doing that and let him have a little fun on his own.

 

I must add that if he's 50 and just looks at young girls or has no interest in you at all or trying to share it with you or likes only extreme stuff ( children,snuff, rape etc), then thats a different story. I often think of my girlfriend in the situations and don't hide it from her and try to use sexy pictures, movies as a way that benefits her as well.

 

Also i find lots of other things sexy, like lifetime movies about romance, passion, mystery, lust etc as well as just looking at julia roberts, elizabeth hurley etc. I still get the same thing though, where everything that i find attractive is a reason to offend my girlfriend or make her feel jealous. I don't like to be tickled by a feather or bubble baths or nice restaurants but i understand that men and women are different and i accept it and work with it. It just seems like guys dont get the same acceptance and tolerance. i also dont understand how pictures of sex are disgusting when we all look that way when we're doing it and we all like to do those wild and crazy things sometimes. I sometimes get very bored and feel very disheartened regarding sex with my girlfriend when she makes me feel guilty and i feel very, very sexy towards her on those occasions when she's in a great mood and being a little wild. So if i feel a little crazy sometimes and you don't let me do my thing and when we both feel just loving and warm that's nice too but dont take everything personally. I dont care if you like to watch soaps or french accents or whatever makes you feel a little sexier and it doesn't always have to be about me. Oh yeah i'm on of those guys who likes to hear about what (or who) a girl likes sometimes and if its just fantasy it's ok if it's something a little crazy and it doesn't always involve me. Every girl ive been with could've had bigger boobs or a bigger butt and i wouldn't have minded and I'm sure every girl i've been with wouldn't have minded if i had a few more muscles or a few more inches. But it wasn't a big deal and looks aren't the only thing a guy looks for when "he looks" at models, sometimes its just fantasy same as women with their fantasies of romance and passion etc.

 

Passion is wonderful but sometimes guilt, jealousy, misunderstanding or insecurity can squelch it.

[HokeyReligions]

Any guilt you feel belongs to you. Any insecurity she feels belongs to her. She can't 'make' you feel guilty anymore than you can 'make' her feel secure.

[clandestinidad]

I found something particular interesting in your post:

 

I'm 46 yrs old and do think 18-19 yr old girls can be very sexy!! Come on what guy doesn't?

 

and:

 

I must add that if he's 50 and just looks at young girls...then thats a different story

 

You're only 4 years away from being one of those 50yr old's you speak of

 

Anyway, some women feel very threatened when their SO watches porn frequently. It makes them feel like they are not enough--physically, sexually, etc. and like you want someone 'better'.

 

Perhaps you could think of some ways to make her feel more comfortable with it...but many women will never feel comfortable with it for numerous reasons. Maybe finding someone who enjoys porn as much as you do would be a better match.

[LoveYouLive]

My point is that if women liked looking at images of men they'd be doing it a lot more. There are a lot of things that women do to get their needs met that don't involve real people.

 

I say if we get rid of porn then we also get rid of soap operas,oprah and all oxygen/lifetime movies about cheating/murdering spouses, kidnapped babies, and rape/incest.

 

Or we say Hey, this isnt a perfect world and we're not perfect people. I love you the way you are but i can't afford to fly you to Italy for dinner amidst the ancient ruins of Rome and you don't look like Cameron Diaz. But we can dream a little sometimes.