Highly complicated...

[RedXIII]

First, thanks for taking the time to read this.

I developed an online relationship with a man 6 years older than me living an hour away by plane. Both of our familes knew, so it was getting serious, and we sent each other mail often and spoke for hours everyday. However, there come a time when he had to leave for work issues. Which was why we didn't visit sooner, mixed with the fact I was nervous. Once he returned, a month later, he wasn't online due to problems at home. Shortly after we both agreed to have a break until he sorted these problems out. In the mean time though, I was out clubbing and went on holiday to Ibiza and we fell out of contact. I continued thinking and even dreaming of him but didn't say anything. Once I returned from holiday, two months after we stopped speaking, an old 'friend' of years of both mine and his was causing trouble saying we had both said things about each other, most of which neither of us had. The work problems are solved now and my ex confronted me about this and I told him that I HAD said little, due to what this 'friend' had told me that my ex had said, when he hadn't. My ex retaliated by saying things about me, though not as much as was implied. I told him I still cared for him and why would I say all of those things? He said he still cared for me too, but thought I had moved on (though he hasn't and neither had I), I assured him I hadn't, apologized for what I had said, and he said he needed time to think. This 'friend' said he would show my ex chat logs, which he needed a day to get hold of, it takes 2 minutes to get logs, I assume he edited them. Since, my ex has been signing on MSN which is quite rare, yet not speaking to me, I don't know what to say or do if anything?

 

If he believes this friend over me, then I don't think it would work out, but how do I ask in a subtle way and not appear desperate, should I ask at all?

 

Help please.

[mariJane]

a little confused on whos' who. who's the friend and x and online guy, let me try and figure that out here.

but YES def just f'n ask ya know. no harm right! being assertive isnt desperate, if you need to know something, i say **** em if they cant handle someone who speaks.

ya ok a little confuseing there but YES just ask. straight up take a breath and just do it, it will be ok , just dont hit nobody if you dont like what they say;) he might lie or piss you off but then you would know more info toward the truth, or he might be honest so either way, just do it k. you'll feel better, please tell me if you did it and you dont!! k

[RedXIII]

Sorry, 2am post lol. Was getting frustrated. I'll fix it below.

 

Thanks for the reply! ^^ I thought it would be better to call him on the phone, since if he believed what this friend x had said, then I could tell him otherwise and I think he'd know I was telling the truth. But if that didn't change anything I don't think it could work anyway.

I'm going to give him tonight and tomorrow, then ask him straight on the phone. 'Less anyone thinks thats a bad idea?

 

developed an online relationship with a man 6 years older than me living an hour away by plane. Both of our familes knew, so it was getting serious, and we sent each other mail often and spoke for hours everyday. However, there come a time when he had to leave for work issues. Which was why we didn't visit sooner, mixed with the fact I was nervous. Once he returned, a month later, he wasn't online due to problems at home. Shortly after we both agreed to have a break until he sorted these problems out. In the mean time though, I was out clubbing and went on holiday to Ibiza and we fell out of contact. I continued thinking and even dreaming of him but didn't say anything. Once I returned from holiday, two months after we stopped speaking, an old 'friend' (friend x ) of years of both mine and his was causing trouble saying we had both said things about each other, most of which neither of us had. The work problems are solved now and my ex confronted me about this and I told him that I HAD said a little of it, due to what this 'friend x' had told me that my ex had said, when my ex hadn't. My ex retaliated by saying things about me, though not as much as was implied. I told him I still cared for him and why would I say all of those things? He said he still cared for me too, but thought I had moved on (though he hasn't and neither had I), I assured him I hadn't, apologized for what I had said, and he said he needed time to think. This 'friend x' said he would show my ex chat logs, which he needed a day to get hold of, it takes 2 minutes to get logs, I assume he edited them. Since, my ex has been signing on MSN which is quite rare, yet not speaking to me, I don't know what to say or do if anything?

 

If he believes this friend x over me, then I don't think it would work out, but how do I ask in a subtle way and not appear desperate, should I ask at all?