I called off the wedding

[whichwayisup]

Woggle...You're giving me heart palps!

 

COMMUNICATE with her. Talk out your fears if they hit you again.

 

You're extremely lucky that she took you back!

 

Now with that being said, please?? With sugar on top??? When you're back from your honeymoon, start talking to a therapist to rid of your past demons.

 

PS She has loved you all along, silly man.

[bab]

I know you people are going to think I am completely out of my mind but we made up and the wedding is back on.

 

 

You continually talk and talk about the signs that she wouldn't turn her back on you. You are very lucky that she isn't doing the same things to you, cause you've only given signs on here that the first hint of trouble you are out the door. Get real help Woggle.

[Woggle]

Woggle...You're giving me heart palps!

 

COMMUNICATE with her. Talk out your fears if they hit you again.

 

You're extremely lucky that she took you back!

 

Now with that being said, please?? With sugar on top??? When you're back from your honeymoon, start talking to a therapist to rid of your past demons.

 

PS She has loved you all along, silly man.

 

I do need therapy. Never was big on it but I do need some counseling. This relationship has just flied in the face of all my preconceived notions. I honest to god did not believe women like this existed and I keep looking for some sort of cache.

[magichands]

COMMUNICATE with her. Talk out your fears if they hit you again.

Great advice. Is this the Soap channel?

[Craig]

I do need therapy. Never was big on it but I do need some counseling. This relationship has just flied in the face of all my preconceived notions. I honest to god did not believe women like this existed and I keep looking for some sort of cache.

Woggle, I like you and I want you to be happy. That being said I am going to be on you like flies on catch-it to make sure you follow up with counseling.

 

Best wishes and if you can get tickets go see "Beach Blanket Babylon" when you're in SF. Your face will hurt from laughing after seeing that show. Google it for more info.

[amaysngrace]

Is this the Soap channel?

 

It sure does feel like it is.

[Outcast]

Any minute now, Vegas is going to start making book on this shindig.

[bluetuesday]

man, you are one load of damaged goods. i'm sorry you're going through this.

 

so you've changed your mind about having kids then? or has she changed hers? 'cause you know the problems you have with trust, the fact that you generally don't like women very much, not to mention that you and this chick want wildly different things, ain't going anywhere.

 

marrying is going to magnify all of these issues and force you to face them. and it's not going to change the fact she's 40 either. man, when you're her age she'll be 55. i'm just saying.

 

i don't care how much you love her or have convinced yourself you're now doing the right thing by getting back with her. if 48 hours ago you were ready to dump her, this is really not going to work out in the real world.

 

for gawd's sake be kind to her. marriage is tough. don't let her wallow in the illusion any longer that you're in any way ready for it. and get help, man. no-one likes to see you being this nutsy.

[Citizen Erased]

Woggle you are an idiot. I hope you do call it off again so she can move on and be away from you. You are so full of it. You called off what was supposed to be the best day of her life just because you had a dream? Grow up and stop using your past experiences as an excuse as you are starting to just sound like a whiney little *****.

[quankanne]

dude, I've been following your posts, and you need serious help. You also need to postpone marriage until you two can come to agreement on what you want from a marriage. Out of curiosity, have y'all gone to any kind of marriage preparation program so that you are aware of the issues that affect every relationship? Because you really, really don't need to set yourself up for failure when you're mentally and emotionally not ready for this kind of commitment.

 

you seem to think that all women are evil, and that men are innocent victims when it comes to relationships. Hate to burst your bubble but the truth of the matter is that every person comes to the table with some kind of baggage, it's just that some are better at dealing with it than others.

[Becoming]

Yeah!

 

You're only 25? You have some growing to do yet at 25, so, yes, therapy's a good idea. Wish I'd done it then. You may have to fight feeling at a deficit with your STBW and overcompensate needlessly. Many men feel like this emotionally with women, and the age difference may compound it. You can overcome this, but you need

 

We only give you a hard time, Woggle, because we see a wisdom in you far beyond your years. Otherwise, we wouldn't bother. So please forgive my hard words before. WWIU said what I think better and nicer than I, but I second her thoughts.

 

And yes, do talk to your fiance. Communication is the most important thing for marriage.

 

All the best!

[alphamale]

I hope for your sake you will someday get professional help, W. And that you apologize profusely to that poor woman for leading her into thinking you were in any sort of shape to have a relationship with.

She should be apologizing to him. She is the senior person here in this relationship. She made the mistake in judgement.

[whichwayisup]

I do need therapy. Never was big on it but I do need some counseling. This relationship has just flied in the face of all my preconceived notions. I honest to god did not believe women like this existed and I keep looking for some sort of cache.

 

I'm glad to hear that you're aware of that now.

 

That being said I am going to be on you like flies on catch-it to make sure you follow up with counseling

 

I'm with Craig on this one. And feel free to PM if you need help as I know what it takes to find a good therapist. (Due to the anxiety issues that I have.)

 

Get some sleep.

[Woggle]

I am actually 27 but it is only a 2 year difference. I can't sleep right now so I figure I will sleep on the flight and this is how I will pass the time. Honestly I don't know what the hell I was thinking. We had a long talk and she has some issues from the past herself and this is why she is being patient with me. It is because she has been there herself. When I get back I will get some help because I need it. No matter where we decide to move I also think it will be a good thing for me. I need a change of scenery and to get out of this town which has so many bad memories.

[Pyro]

I am actually 27 but it is only a 2 year difference. I can't sleep right now so I figure I will sleep on the flight and this is how I will pass the time. Honestly I don't know what the hell I was thinking. We had a long talk and she has some issues from the past herself and this is why she is being patient with me. It is because she has been there herself. When I get back I will get some help because I need it. No matter where we decide to move I also think it will be a good thing for me. I need a change of scenery and to get out of this town which has so many bad memories.

 

A change of scenery is always good.

 

The fact that she is giving you another chance and is being patient and understanding with you should be enough proof that not all women are as bad as you make them out to be. Treat her good Wog, she does sound like a true keeper.

[slinkysu]

It seems to me that by everyone 'feeling' for Woggle they are merely falling into the trap he is setting of being the centre of attention and feeding his narcissistic needs.

 

The person you should all be feeling for is the woman he dumped - like a coward - days before they were due to get married.

 

You did her a favour but i can only imagine the pain she is going through right now and people's thoughts and advice should be directed at her, not some inconsiderate kid who could do the lowest of the low and dump a bride at the altar.

 

Like many posters before have said - if you had doubts then you should never have got engaged.

 

And giving her a month to find her own place? oooh how gracious of you! Setting a time limit on getting her out of your hair? - how kind.

 

Why don't you move out for a while and give her some space and when she finds somewhere appropriate she can move? You created this mess - now live with the consequences.

 

and if you honestly based your decision on reading the ramblings of twisted and bitter people moaning to others about their failed marriages and divorces on a website then you really need to grow up.

[Outcast]

slinky, keep up. He changed his mind again and is going to marry her. People really need to read whole threads before tossing their knee-jerk reactions in.

[lindya]

slinky, keep up. He changed his mind again and is going to marry her. People really need to read whole threads before tossing their knee-jerk reactions in.

 

Though to be fair to slinky, it is quite hard to keep up with the ever changing wind directions that carry Woggle's thoughts.

[JamesM]

I have to comment.. I was chucklling by the time I got to the end. That WAS a soap opera.

 

Woggle, I did not realize how young you are. I am 42. Sounds like your future wife's age. If anything would tell me to think twice about this marriage, it would be the age difference. (Let's see, she will be 60, you will be...ummm....43). That aside, I think you need not worry.At your age, I too, broke an engagement to a beautiful woman. I felt that she pressured me into marriage, and I was not making my own decision. I woke up at nights with a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I told her I wanted to break the engagement but give us time to see whether it was right. She said then we are through. I said fine.

 

To make the long story short, we got back together one month later, and our relationship was different. We we married at about the same time as we would have been after the first engagement, and we have been married over 16 years. WIth four beautiful children. I am happy today that I married her. And I am happy that I broke the engagement. It changed our relationship. But also note, there have been some rough times...even still, I knew that I personally had the option to be out, but I CHOSE to marry her. This made a difference, because I knew I could go back and blame no one but myself.

 

Woggle, my only suggestion is to consider counseling before marriage. Sorry, I am not sure of your wedding date...it may be too late for that. But do not look at marriage as some prison term. It isn't when you are with the right person.

[stillafool]

you're telling a 25 yr old man to marry a 40 yr old woman? you are crazy! your license to practice should be revolked. it would NEVER work out..

 

 

This sounds like Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore.

[alphamale]

This sounds like Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore.

Probably SAF...but the above two are probably better looking and have more money.

[stillafool]

I know you people are going to think I am completely out of my mind but we made up and the wedding is back on. I was counseling my friend again last night and his situation is enough to make any man not trust women. After seeing how hard she took it I felt bad and realized that she really does care about me. Many women do turn on a man like that but she honest to god does seem like an exception. She told me if I ever pull this crap again she is leaving and not turning back but she will forgive me this time. She did sign a prenup with no protest so that shows where her head is at. Maybe it is just pre-wedding jitters.

 

 

What about her being old enough to be your mother Woggle?

[blind_otter]

man, you are one load of damaged goods. i'm sorry you're going through this.

 

so you've changed your mind about having kids then? or has she changed hers? 'cause you know the problems you have with trust, the fact that you generally don't like women very much, not to mention that you and this chick want wildly different things, ain't going anywhere.

 

marrying is going to magnify all of these issues and force you to face them. and it's not going to change the fact she's 40 either. man, when you're her age she'll be 55. i'm just saying.

 

i don't care how much you love her or have convinced yourself you're now doing the right thing by getting back with her. if 48 hours ago you were ready to dump her, this is really not going to work out in the real world.

 

for gawd's sake be kind to her. marriage is tough. don't let her wallow in the illusion any longer that you're in any way ready for it. and get help, man. no-one likes to see you being this nutsy.

 

 

Whatever dude, I'm not all smarmy and cheesy. I think it's a bad idea for you to marry this woman. Not because of any of the factors you listed (although the fact that she wants kids and you don't seems like a glaring error -- that is a dealbreaker for me), but because of the fact that it was enough to make you call off the marriage.

 

I've been there. I wrote a journal entry a month before I married about wanting to call it off or postpone it. Two and a half years later, we split up. The feeling never really went away, I just lied to myself.

[a4a]

Woggle you are in no shape to get married. You will end up hurting her and yourself if you go through with this.

 

This whole kid issue .... man have you even told her you don't want kids... or are you planning on changing your mind on that too? Once you do that there ain't no mind changing about it.

 

Why don't you postpone this wedding until you can figure out your issues and work on them a bit. I have a sneaking feeling that she wants to make babies ASAP........ There is no way out then.....

 

I bet once married she is not as forgiving as she is now with you.

[magichands]

What about her being old enough to be your mother Woggle?

Last time I checked the stats, a very small minority of women are giving birth at age 13. And 13 years doesn't quite make a generation gap.

 

There's still a significant age difference - just don't get carried away.