Diver012 Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 Is it me, or does there seem to be 2 distinct types of personalities? People that relationship jump. People who seem to go months, even years between relationships. Im just wondering what thoughts everyone has on this? Im the type that goes months, even years between relationships. Sometimes I envy those that can relationship jump, sometimes I look back on my life and realize that if I were that way, I wouldnt have some of the great friendships that I cherish. I cant relationship jump. Its not in my chemistry. I either feel a connection with someone I meet, or I dont. Sometimes I wonder if I dont try hard enough... *shrugs* Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 I'm in the latter of those two. Partially because I need to let go of the old before moving on to the new, and partially because I won't date someone for the sake of saying I had a date. I want to genuinely feel something for the person, before deciding on a date. It's been a month for me so far and I dont think I'll be dating any time soon. I'm gonna need a while to let this one go, it seems. I still have lingering hopes, albeit small. Sometimes I wish I were the type that could get right back on the horse, but somehow, that's just not me. Jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 Is it me, or does there seem to be 2 distinct types of personalities? People that relationship jump. I've found that the people who have more members of the opposite sex running after them are the ones who tend to "relationship jump". Mainly becuase they have many more opportunites for relationships. Our more "homely" brothers and sisters don't have a lineup of people willing to start relationships with, so they have to wait longer to find someone new. Thats pretty much how it works. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 Our more "homely" brothers and sisters don't have a lineup of people willing to start relationships with, so they have to wait longer to find someone new. Shall we conclude that ariawoman and Diver012 fit into the "homely" category, oh Great Categorizer? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 Shall we conclude that ariawoman and Diver012 fit into the "homely" category, oh Great Categorizer? I don't know them so I cannot say. I was only expressing my empirical observations in real life. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 Shall we conclude that ariawoman and Diver012 fit into the "homely" category, oh Great Categorizer? Yeah, I thought we were talking about personalities. There are only two types of people - pretty and pretty ugly. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 I've always gone significant times between relationships. Patience, cooling off period, waiting to find someone who clicks. Aw, who am I kidding - I'm just homely! Hi, my name is Trimmer, and I'm a homely guy. ( group response: Hi, Trimmer! ) I've been homely since high school, and I've been relationship-free for... let's see... 14 months now... (Polite applause from the group.) STBXW is in the other camp. It's like rock-climbing - make sure you have a grip of your next hand-hold before you release the previous one. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 Yup. Folks who don't just grab the next warm body who passes by must be ugly. They couldn't possibly wish to make careful, well-thought-out choices about their next partners or refuse to put up with the myriad people with 'issues' they encounter. Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 I've never in my life, been considered "homely". I've been referred to as very pretty/attractive/amazing/wonderful. Never homely. I, however, will not just jump into a relationship for no good reason. I don't need to be with someone for the sake of having someone. I want to be with someone for the sake of sharing my life with someone i deeply care about and love. Therein, lies the difference. Anyone that wants to see if i'm homely, feel free to visit my match.com profile. My nickname is ariawoman on there as well... Jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 I confess I'm curious. But I don't have an account to look. Anyone check this out? Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 It's like rock-climbing - make sure you have a grip of your next hand-hold before you release the previous one. I love this analogy. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 I think there are more than two types of personalities when it comes down to relationships. I wouldn't even classify them as personalities, more of a relationship style really. It all comes down to who people are and what they are comfortable with. Link to post Share on other sites
Craig Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 I've never been a relationship jumper but at the same time I've never been long without being in a relationship with a woman since my early 20's. This time it's different for me. I am intentionally taking time away from being in any romantic relationships until I believe I am ready. Ready in the sense that I know myself, what I want and don't want, etc. and can exclude women based on incompatibility rather than include them because we are compatible on some things. In a way I think I am taking a c-lion approach to my next relationshp and taking a hard look at myself before taking a glance at anyone else. It kind of sucks sometimes because there are always opportunities and I like a warm body next to me but my next relationship is hopefully one of compatibility in all the important (to me) areas. This I do for myself. So I guess I am in between the categories you mention. Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 I confess I'm curious. But I don't have an account to look. Anyone check this out? Just as a clarification, the "amazing/wonderful" was regarding my personality, not my looks lol. Be gentle, those of you that do decide to pass judgement on how i look. I'm a depressed woman, and all lol Jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 I don't really buy into the looks thing. I've been described as beautiful by enough and I have had 3 year dry spells after a couple of serious relationships. Granted, I won't be doing that again any time soon. I'm in my 30's and I do get pursued a lot and I won't let some jerk that didn't work out ruin my chances of finding someone better for me. The reason I went low key for so long is because I would get attached to the relationship and really need to heal. Call me sensitive. I wasn't looking for a warm body but rather someone who was worth giving up some of my free time (of which i don't have much) to get to know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Diver012 Posted July 25, 2006 Author Share Posted July 25, 2006 I don't really buy into the looks thing. I've been described as beautiful by enough and I have had 3 year dry spells after a couple of serious relationships. Granted, I won't be doing that again any time soon. I'm in my 30's and I do get pursued a lot and I won't let some jerk that didn't work out ruin my chances of finding someone better for me. The reason I went low key for so long is because I would get attached to the relationship and really need to heal. Call me sensitive. I wasn't looking for a warm body but rather someone who was worth giving up some of my free time (of which i don't have much) to get to know. Same deal here. I have not been this deeply hurt by a woman in Oh, 7 years. I dont mind being single. I like being in a relationship. Im am wounded right now. Deeply hurt. I want what I had back, but not by the woman that hurt me. She can kiss my a$$. I know I need to heal. If it takes me years to heal, then so be it. I dont really care anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Road Rage Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 Associates degree and 50 grand a year? I neither have an associate degree nor make 50 grand a year but girl, you just don`t know what you passed up. Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 Associates degree and 50 grand a year? I neither have an associate degree nor make 50 grand a year but girl, you just don`t know what you passed up. I have no idea what you're talking about.... Jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 Road Rage has a point. Did you pass up an associates degree and 50K a year? Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 I have no idea what you're talking about.... Jennifer I couldn't figure out how to get to it, but is he talking about your profile on match.com? Are these references to either your education/income, or those that you specified you wanted a potential date to have? Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 It sounds like the categories she checked on her 'man must have' part of the profile are 'associates degree' and '50 grand and up' in income and the poster has neither. Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 I dont see where I should be scrutinized for what my tastes are. But, for the benefit of mr road rage...i dated a guy for a year last year, that made 35k a year and had a high school diploma. My 4 year boyfriend also did not have a college degree at the time (he got it when he was 29). However, it's not your place to judge what my preferences are either way. Also, where I live, making 50k, isn't all that huge a deal. You have to put things into perspective as far as the area of the country. Here it costs 1300 a month just to rent a 1 BR apartment. Jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 Road Rage has a point. Did you pass up an associates degree and 50K a year? No I didn't. But even if i did, last I checked, people were allowed to decide who they felt they were compatible with either way. I did learn in my previous relationship though, that I need a man as motivated in his career as I am. Do I put a price tag on it, not really. However a lot of men don't want to date me, if I'm making more money than them. Not sure why I am explaining this double standard. Anyway. I'm done defending myself. I shouldn't have to, i'd be marrying the guy, not anyone here bashing me for my supposed wants. Jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 No I didn't. But even if i did, last I checked, people were allowed to decide who they felt they were compatible with either way. I did learn in my previous relationship though, that I need a man as motivated in his career as I am. Do I put a price tag on it, not really. However a lot of men don't want to date me, if I'm making more money than them. Not sure why I am explaining this double standard. Anyway. I'm done defending myself. I shouldn't have to, i'd be marrying the guy, not anyone here bashing me for my supposed wants. Jennifer Yeah- what's with the bashing? An AAS and 50k a year isn't exactly asking much of a guy.... Personally, I'd need at least a BA from a guy (or some serious trade knowledge/experience). Don't want no scrubs, and no fools. Link to post Share on other sites
Road Rage Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 I apologize. Also, Diver 012, sorry to hijack this thread. Link to post Share on other sites
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