Should I wait?

[Maple]

My boyfriend and I broke up after 3 years just about 2 and a half months ago. We still talk. He just recently went to Hawaii for ten days and he called me almost every day. I missed him and he missed me. When he got back, we slept together.

 

I'm not really sure what is going on. After that night, we've had some serious talks. He said that he loved me (I love him too) but he thinks that the reason why we had so much trouble before was because we were still living at home with our parents (both our families are very dysfunctional). He is now getting an opportunity to get a big promotion at work and he could move out and he would like me to come with him. This promotion is almost for sure, but not completely and he said that he would like to wait to know for sure.

 

He does not want to hold me back. He said that it was okay for me to keep dating other people. I don't know though. I still love him. I always thought that if you loved somebody, you'd be with them, no matter what. He said he agreed, but we are always stressed out with our families that it was too hard for us to be together.

 

By the time he could get both of us out of our houses, he wants us to be together. In the meantime, we are dating, but are not boyfriend and girlfriend. He said that if I was going out with someone when he finally gets a chance, he would fight to get me back.

 

Why is he so stubborn? He could have me right now! I don't care about our families as long as we're together.

 

I think I want to wait for him. I'm afriad that if I don't, he'll give up on us and I don't want that. Am I crazy?

[Lauren]

If you two were close for three years working around the family issues; a few more months shouldn't matter. Although, this break might be well-needed. It may have impacted him (as well as yourself) how much you enjoyed each others company. If being together would be a little bit of a wait because of his promotion, try to stay patient. Can you find other things to keep your focus away from your family so it doesn't drag you down? Also, keeping busy during this time will make him realize that you do have it together and are a strong person. Go out with friends; take a class; go to movies, museums and other events. Get out there and enjoy! It sounds like you two really want to be together. He may a need a little push besides the promotion and the financial independence it brings. He may be a little scared "knowing" that the promotion will mean that he wants to be with only you! Be there as a friend; but don't forget yourself as well! It sounds like this may work out if you keep honest with one another and truly appreciate what you have!

 

Best!