BatteredByLove Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 I was just wondering that when your ex dumped you and they went out with antoher guy or girl, do they ever come back and realize the mistake that they've made. I know i'm in denial and pratically just trying to escape from reality, but just curious how many out there has had an ex that broke up with you, dated another guy, and realized that they made a mistake and tried to come back. I'm saying this because my ex and I broke up 4 months ago, and now she is with another guy, they've been going out for about a week now, but, somehow, my heart "tells" me that she'll come back. I don't know... it could just be the denial talking, thanks guys. Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 It is more than likely denial talking. We all have that in us, that's for sure. Try your best to not sit around waiting for her to come back. Live your life, if she comes back and you're still available and want to try it, good for you both. If she doesn't come back, well you'll have already moved forward and might not care either way. Moving forward, as much as we can, seems to be the only answer for those of us wanting a reconciliation with a love lost. Jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
Brittanyjean06 Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 Indenially speaking, It's been a year and my ex hasn't showed up yet..I'll get back to you when he does though. : sarcasim : It can happen. I reamber when my ex got a new girlfriend the only thing I googled was Rebound relationships. I literally looked at all of them analyzing everything. I analyzed so much of when he was going to come back, how he was going to come back. So this is all quite normal for you to be feeling this way. Very normal. If they have a new girl/boyfriend the chances of them coming back are very rare. But It can happen. The more you read about it though about ex's coming back, the more you long for hope and mix that scenario in with yours thinking the same thing will happen to you. Don't give your self false hope. Try to persisently tell your self she is not coming back. She is not coming back! one moreee timee haha sorry just trying to add some " comic relief " Link to post Share on other sites
In Sync Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 this is denial talking to you. no one wants to be pessimistic and naysyers here...but thinking along these lines is self destructive...becaue your postponing dealing with the reality..as it is. if your ex has a new guy...put our thoughts on how you can let go. Link to post Share on other sites
Stormyhorizon Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 Assuming you're a good guy and treated her right, she'll probably contact you for an ego boost when she finds herself all alone after this new guy leaves her like she left you. In her mind she may be thinking she realized the error of her ways while in reality she just wants to be restored and built up from the wreckage this other dude left behind. I know your hoping and that she'll come back running and throw herself back into your arms, but under what context? For now, she's in a stranger's arms (not including whatever extra curricular activities that maybe taking place). And the longer it takes for her to realize you were a champ the more anguish and pain you must endure. And when she does finally come back all that usually remains is the wreckage that she left behind. It's a cruel fate........ Or, time to find other hobbies, take long walks, work out, get in shape, read books, focus on your education, whatever.. You get the picture. You've heard it before, "Life moves on with or without you." good luck, Link to post Share on other sites
mariJane Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 i have let love go and seen it come back years later, also i have broke off many dates or short things, and have found them a few months down the road looking for me, ok now good luck. but then again you might need to go get her, i dont know i guess it depends on the exact situation here of the break up and all, but yes, good luck Link to post Share on other sites
BeHappy Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 if it's mean't to be, it mean't to be... Link to post Share on other sites
Author BatteredByLove Posted July 24, 2006 Author Share Posted July 24, 2006 Assuming you're a good guy and treated her right, she'll probably contact you for an ego boost when she finds herself all alone after this new guy leaves her like she left you. In her mind she may be thinking she realized the error of her ways while in reality she just wants to be restored and built up from the wreckage this other dude left behind. I know your hoping and that she'll come back running and throw herself back into your arms, but under what context? For now, she's in a stranger's arms (not including whatever extra curricular activities that maybe taking place). And the longer it takes for her to realize you were a champ the more anguish and pain you must endure. And when she does finally come back all that usually remains is the wreckage that she left behind. It's a cruel fate........ Or, time to find other hobbies, take long walks, work out, get in shape, read books, focus on your education, whatever.. You get the picture. You've heard it before, "Life moves on with or without you." good luck, Thanks Stormyhorizon, I have been making myself busy by working out, reading a lot of books, and focusing a lot more on my education too. Last night I just went out for a long drive... just driving 3 hours.... god that's a waste of gas money lol. Yes, I have heard it before, "lives moves on with or with you", I know that I must continue to live life, but all my friends and everyone around me tells me that I treated her like a goddess, I just hope that she'll realize it before it's too late. i have let love go and seen it come back years later, also i have broke off many dates or short things, and have found them a few months down the road looking for me, ok now good luck. but then again you might need to go get her, i dont know i guess it depends on the exact situation here of the break up and all, but yes, good luck mariJane, the breakup was mainly because of insecurities, not that I or she ever did cheated on one another, we were truly faithful to one another, it's just that the insecurites always creeps up on me, and her. if it's mean't to be, it mean't to be... True that BeHappy, I have been trying to tell myself this for the past 3 months, but, it digs in, then come backs up, digs in again, and comes back up, just them ups and down days... Thanks for your replies guys, you have helped me a lot. I LOVE LS!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BatteredByLove Posted July 24, 2006 Author Share Posted July 24, 2006 It is more than likely denial talking. We all have that in us, that's for sure. Try your best to not sit around waiting for her to come back. Live your life, if she comes back and you're still available and want to try it, good for you both. If she doesn't come back, well you'll have already moved forward and might not care either way. Moving forward, as much as we can, seems to be the only answer for those of us wanting a reconciliation with a love lost. Jennifer I guess I just needed a little slap in the face from reality. Denial sure does suck, especially when you find out your ex is dating someone... I've done NC and she has slowly crept back into my life, but in the end I told her that I needed time to be alone, because I needed time to be healed, so really yea... it probably is denial talking. Thanks Jennifer. Indenially speaking, It's been a year and my ex hasn't showed up yet..I'll get back to you when he does though. : sarcasim : It can happen. I reamber when my ex got a new girlfriend the only thing I googled was Rebound relationships. I literally looked at all of them analyzing everything. I analyzed so much of when he was going to come back, how he was going to come back. So this is all quite normal for you to be feeling this way. Very normal. If they have a new girl/boyfriend the chances of them coming back are very rare. But It can happen. The more you read about it though about ex's coming back, the more you long for hope and mix that scenario in with yours thinking the same thing will happen to you. Don't give your self false hope. Try to persisently tell your self she is not coming back. She is not coming back! one moreee timee haha sorry just trying to add some " comic relief " Hehehhe Brittany seems like you're a long way down the road for me, I haven't googled the "Rebound Relationship" idea yet, but it was for 4 months after that we broke up and we did go out for a year and a month, and I somehow was praying that it'd be a rebound relationship, who knows, it might, it might not. Thank you for your support. this is denial talking to you. no one wants to be pessimistic and naysyers here...but thinking along these lines is self destructive...becaue your postponing dealing with the reality..as it is. if your ex has a new guy...put our thoughts on how you can let go. I've read your posts before In Sync, you have some of the wisest posts on LS. I guess I really am using denial to block off reality to heal myself, but, heh, coming from you, it probably is destructive. Thanks for your replies guys, it's helped me a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
dominsane Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 Ah.. I'm going through the same thing. My fiancé left me two weeks ago...and I'm in denial...and I know I'm in denial, but something "tells" me too that one day..he'll come back... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 I have never had someone return but my brother broke up with his high school sweetheart when he met his wife in his last year of university. Twenty years later they divorced with children. Not long after that he ran into his first girlfriend at a function. She was just recently divorced with children as well. They have been together and serious for the past five years. I often wonder if he doesn't feel guilty that he broke up with her in the first place and now will enter into a 'blended family'. I personally would find it difficult to forgive him in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
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