anniversery is tomarrow

[mess4u]

I know my husband does not remeber. He never does. I have gotten used to it . He stinks with b-days too. Any way I find my self telling him the night before and then just unhappy because I know he bought me a card because I told him. Anyway I want to really blow him away this year. Make really see what he is missing out on. I dont want to tell him the night before I think I would rather him forget than I cant be mad at him for doing a bang up job.

Any ideas to really make it memorable year after year so he will want to remember to enjoy it.

I think this is the best idea to go about things with him I , I dont want to be a nag, I would rather show him how much he is missing.

[Ladyjane14]

Just because your spouse isn't always considerate, doesn't mean that YOU shouldn't be. You don't want to get down into the muck with him, right? It's better to be true to yourself.

 

There's a book called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It describes how different people respond to love in different ways. For example, a person who recognizes Gift Giving as an expression of love, might not see the love offering in an Act of Service. An Acts of Service person might believe that he's proving his love by changing the motor oil in your car.

 

It's an interesting book, and it'll get you both thinking about how you give and receive love from one another.

[quankanne]

I dont want to be a nag, I would rather show him how much he is missing.

 

then ignore your anniversary. Ignore his birthday. Ignore every event you know he finds important, then when he brings it up, give him a half-assed, "yeah, that's right." Then continue to ignore the event. If pressed, tell him that because HE doesn't find things memorable, you're not going to bother either.

 

this sounds like a headgame, but in all honesty, it's not meant as one. Just an effective way to let him know that you've learned to care less about those "special" things than he has. And he'll either continue as before, or he'll figure out that he hates being ignored, therefore you must hate being ignored, too.

 

I did this one year my husband was a total ass the day before his birthday. I didn't say word one to him because I knew I'd say somethng I'd regret (part of the "if you can't say something nice, then don't open your mouth" adage), and he was hurt that I didn't give a birthday greeting. I told him that in all fairness I couldn't wish him well when I was mad at him, that he shouldn't depend on me for stuff like that when I was still angry. And he figured it out from there. However, he's the one who is better at remembering our anniversary ...