Guest Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 I was dating this guy for 8 1/2 months. everything was great! we went on several trips and we had so much fun together. HE talked about marriage and kids. 7 months in, he asked me to move in with him. i wasn't ready for all this. but even so we rarely fought and when we did we resolved it. we did have trust issues since we have both cheated before. and i completely take blame for not treating him the greatest. (when he told me he loved me, i told him not to say something he doesn't mean) only july 4th weekend, i discovered a personal ad that he had put up on the internet 6 months into the relationship. I was completely upset. all week he was reassuring me that it was old and he wasn't cheating on me. the following weekend, everything had come to a point and i asked him if he was going to help me through this or bail. he decided we should take a break, which he thought would lead to a break up. we broke up with him still adamantly saying that he did not cheat on me but he can't get back with me. he revealed to my friend two days later that he tried to cover up the ad as much as possible. i wasn't mad nor upset. i want to work this out between us because i want to be married to him. i love him so much that it hurts every day that we're not together. i can't forget but i can forgive. he hasn't been returning my phone call so i'm planning to show up and talk to him tomorrow night. keep in mind he's a police officer, which allows him to lock away his feelings very easily. i'm so lost and i need help please! Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 I'm confused. Your thread title says you want to take him back after he cheated, but your post doesn't say anything about him actually meeting anyone from the ad and cheating on you. He's a police officer. Showing up at his workplace is probably a very bad idea. If he's ignoring your calls, he doesn't want to talk to you. Let it go. If he wants to be with you after some amount of 'break' time, you'll hear from him. He knows how to reach you. Link to post Share on other sites
soberminded Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 I think the woman can usually get an ex boyfriend back through begging and pursuit tactics. Men are the ones who can't get away with begging. They have to use no contact as their tool to get their ex girlfriends back. I'm a man so I speak from experience that the rules for reconciliation are different for female dumpees than male dumpees. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 i don't want to beg him. i just want to talk to him rationally because that's the only way to get through to a guy. i know that he wants a break, but its so hard to be without him. i have 2 weeks to think about everything, but knowing him, he probably locked his feelings away and diving himself into work. he doesn't like dealing with his emotions (just like all guys). i love him and i know that he still loves me, i just need to get him to see that too. soberminded - from a guy's perspective, do guys deal with their emotions and feelings? or do they just keep themselves occupied with work and going out? Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 soberminded - from a guy's perspective, do guys deal with their emotions and feelings? or do they just keep themselves occupied with work and going out? That is how a lot of guys deal with their feelings. It doesn't mean they aren't thinking about them...in fact, that's exactly what they need to do in order to process them. Link to post Share on other sites
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