am i doing something wrong?

[Naive?]

Hi, I've gotten very friendly in the strictest platonic sense with a woman at work, and she suggested meeting up for a coffee outside of work. I said yes and that we'd rearrange it sometime. Now she is asking me when

 

Now all of a sudden I feel really guilty, like I'm cheating on my gf or something and don't know whether to tell her that I'm meeting my friend in case she gets the wrong idea but I also don't really want to lie about it. It doesn't help that this woman is considered to be very attractive

 

Have i done anything wrong?

 

what do you women think about your men having attractive female friends?

 

what do you think I should do?

[arc]

If you were my partner, I'd rather know that you were going to be meeting a new friend for a coffee. If you hid it and I found out at a later date I'd be wondering what you were hiding and reading far more into the situation than a platonic friendship.

 

If she was very attractive, and I felt insecure about my own appearance - that would be my issue and not something that should prevent you from having attractive female friends. Personally if my insecurity meant a partner decided not to have female friends in an attempt to make me feel better, I'd actually feel worse about myself!

 

I don't see that what you are planning on doing is wrong, but I can appreciate it maybe feels that way a bit. I think so long as you stay honest with yourself about your intentions, honest with your girlfriend about your actions and also honest with your new friend about the fact it is a platonic friendship and not a loosely disguised date, the situation should hopefully not become a messy one

[MsPiggy]

Naive? Maybe...

 

I would speak to my significant other before doing this especially if I was feeling guilty about it. If you feel guilty in the least, I wouldn't bother doing it. I also feel, if it's just platonic, I'm sure she'd understand and see where you're coming from by not wanting to put urself of your SO in an awkward position.

 

You haven't done anything wrong but I'd try to avoid it if possible even if it's innocent.

 

I don't necessarily have a problem with my BF having attractive friends, but I feel the 1-on-1 coffee is a bit "personal". I wouldn't feel comfortable with the situation. I would say, If you guys work together than keep it professional, why does she want to take it to a more "intimate/personal" level??

 

I guess it depends on how your GF feels. BUT if u know that its something she just wouldnt be ok with, i wouldn't bother mentioning it nor going forward with the "cofee outing".