What does he want from me??

[Sun_Conure]

I am so confused by what is going on with my Ex, I have such a problem with understanding him due to cultural differences.

 

To make the long story short, I dated a guy, we broke up because I said I could not committ (I did not know what I was doing!) after he began to mention marriage too often ("What kind of dress would you like for your next wedding?(I separated from my husband 3 months before we began dating) ", "If we get married, I will take you to Prague"). I told him that if he wanted to have any chance for the relationship, he should leave me alone for 6 months, and then contact me. He did not. Instead he began to call me often and ask me to come to see him. He was so persistent. Every time when we met, we ended up having sex. This continued from February till May. Then I met another guy, dated him for a while, realized that I was not attracted to him and recently broke up with him. All this time my ex persistently continued to communicate with me. Sometimes I responded, other times I ignored.

 

Anyway, after the last break up my Ex B approached me with such suggestion: he said he wanted to try again but he wanted to start with "sex for now" and see what would happen. He told me he "liked me and wanted to be with me," asked whether I wanted to be his gf and said he wanted a committment. When I asked whether he dated anyone now, he said he was not sure (???). I asked what he wanted from me, he said he was not sure now (he definitely wants sex, though!).

 

When I spend time with him, he acts like a friend, there was no public affection of any kind, no touching, hugging, kissing. Very distant, but with sex at the end. So does he want a second chance or is just looking for a sex buddy? What do you think?

 

Thank you.

[sickkitty]

he is looking 4 a sex buddy! i met up with my ex on monday and he kept saying he misses me (he is not the crying type) we wnt out for just over a year when we broke up he said he needed 2 sort his life out (he has no job and he lives with his mum) but a wk later i found out he was with a girl that fancied him b4 he went out wiv me when i confronted him about it hed say they were just friends

ne way its been a month since we broke up and i met up with him on monday he kept telling me he still loves me, he misses me and he regrets what he did but he is still not ready 4 a gf but he misses the sex with me

When we were out that night he couldnt stop touching and kissing me 4 sum reason...... Not sure if il take it ne futher tho.

 

im not sure where u wanna go with ur situation, it seems like he wants 2 mess around with u feelings!

how comes he said he is not sure if he has dated some one else? sorry babe but thats Bullsh*t where is he from origially?

Unless u r just up 4 sex with out commitment and it wont make u feel worse then go 4 it but if u want something more id advise u 2 not have any contact with this guy and move on to some one who will treat u better

 

Best of luck 2 u

 

Amanda xx

[Sun_Conure]

Thank you, Sickkitty! I really needed a feedback on this situation. He is an American. I am actually not, moved in the country five years ago, was married for the last 5 years, and got married rather young (21). So I was so easily deceived by those words, ambigous stuff.

 

Also he has a profile on an online service. He had it for 2 years now. We actually met at a party, so I did not know untill recently about the profile. I am not sure whether it is active, but he definitely uses it sometimes. And when I began dating the other guy, Ex told me that he was "hanging out" with someone too. Later it turned out that his definition of hanging out included kissing and maybe more.

 

Well, all this time I thought the problem was in me because I acted out a lot. But yesterday I realized that problem was in him. I acted out in response to his treatment of me. He insisted on meeting me, had sex with me and then leave hanging for weeks without even a phone call. I am was supposed to wait patiently because allegedly girls are not supposed to raise the question of relationship, etc. because it will press him. According to him, I pushed and pushed him and this way pushed him away. This is such crap!!

 

I decided to close the door for him. I do not want to see him or hear from him any more. If he did want to be with me, he would have tried to see me more often and established friendship, some sort of close connection. Here, I see only interest for sex with occasional hints about something more later.

[sickkitty]

I totally agree my ex is doing the exact same thing he says he misses sex with me he wants us to be friends but then he wont call or txt me til he wants to he said yesterday i dont think we should see that much of each other bcoz it will end up with me getting hurt again and he said he loves me to much 2 c me go through that again lol Bullsh*t

 

If u need ne one to talk 2 one to one than u can E-mail me on [email protected]. i no how it feels believe me sometimes advice from others helps alot x

Take care

Amanda x

[Guest]

Do yourself a favor. Don't respond to this losers text messages, emails or phone calls. He doesn't want to make a real committment with you if he did he would be there with you working on the relationship. Trust me this is all about sex. I got sucked into that I miss you thing a few times with the same man(not your man but it sure sounds like the same loser!!lol) and it all led to nothing more than empty sex, broken promises and me feeling bad about allowing this creep back into my life again.

 

Finally I told him that i will no longer be available for him to use me for his sexual escapades without making a real committment to working on this relationship. Would you believe he started crying and called me later saying he wanted to hang out with me and work things out. Of course I didn't go out with him but decided against my better judgement to keep contact with him because I felt sorry for him. Eventually the old person came out and he finally got around to bluntly trying to get me to resume the sexual relationship with him again. Thats when I ended the conversation and the contact with this creep for good!

[Sun_Conure]

Well, I finally decided to stop having sex with him in order to save last pieces of my dignity and pride. I wrote him an email stating that I was not interested in that crap anymore and basically telling him that his calls, emails, etc were not welcome. This happened last Wed. On Th I had my last day of the bar exam. Next day, Fri, I got txtmsg from him congratulating me with the finishing of the exam. Nice? by the way, this congratulation is a big thing for him, he did not even acknowledge my graduation. So I guess he will be calling again ...

 

Moreover, I know that he is spending a lot of time on an online dating website. So he is probably dating/seeing someone. Do not think there is anything worth to wait for from this man. I wish I knew what exactly I liked (and probably still like) in him so much!!