Frustrated Posted December 16, 2001 Share Posted December 16, 2001 Hi, this isn't really a 'love' problem but I was hoping you guys could help me anyway because you all seem very mature and understanding. I am 20yrs old and a full time university student, with two part-time jobs. I live with my parents and have never caused them any major problems, unlike my twin sister who has gone through everything from drugs to juvenile detention to tattoos. She also lives at home. Anyway, I have wanted a tongue ring for ages and decided last week to go with a friend to get it done next week. I told my mum and she completely blew up at me, saying it was a disgusting practice and that if I got it done she would chuck me out of home. I was really surprised because my mum has always been liberal with my sister and yet she seems to be acting completely unreasonably with me. Its my body, my money, and its not even that visible. I don't know what to do - on the one hand I am angry and frustrated. On the other hand, I am not in the position financially to move out of home. Can anyone advise me on what to do? This has really driven a wedge in our relationship, and I will feel so resentful of her if she makes me back out of something I really want to do. I've tried talking to her and she refuses to compromise. Link to post Share on other sites
catt Posted December 16, 2001 Share Posted December 16, 2001 Sorry to hear that your mom's been treating you unfairly. I can completely understand your frustration - mom cutting your unruly sister slack all the time and you being a "good" kid who only wants a harmless tongue ring. The problem is that you are the one kid who your mom can count on to act reasonably and logically. She's had to deal with all the problems your sister has thrown her way and this tongue ring is one thing she probably never thought she'd have to deal with with you, which is probably why she snapped. I know how unfair this may seem to you - while your mom has been focused on your sister, you may have been given little or no attention at all. I can assure you that your folks are grateful to have one kid with her head on straight. You won't be able to fully understand this until you and your sister have left home and can look at it from your parents' perspective. . . . I'd suggest waiting a little while as you can not afford to be kicked out. Try talking to your mom again, perhaps after the stressful, hectic holiday season is over, when she is more relaxed. Explain to her in a non-confrontational way that this is something you really want to do. If she refuses to accept it, you have no choice but to obey her while you are living under her roof. Would it really be so bad to wait until you are out of her house? Couldn't you get a belly-button ring or something less conspicuous that she doesn't need to see or know about? Just a suggestion . . . Best of luck, Catt Link to post Share on other sites
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