Guest Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 How do you help raise the level of your self esteem? How can I change the negativity and replace it with confidence? I was an overweight child and teenager - but I have been very successful in losing the weight. However, when I look in the mirror it is still the fat, unpopular, unwanted girl that I see staring back at me. I am 30 years old and I am in a great relationship but my lack of self esteem is really beginning to affect everything. Please help!! Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 There are bunches of books on how to raise self-esteem. It takes more than just the advice a person can give you in a post, IMHO. Link to post Share on other sites
georgejungle Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 There are bunches of books on how to raise self-esteem. It takes more than just the advice a person can give you in a post, IMHO. I know a book can be a lot more informative on technique and methods, but asking the experience of others can help too, so i disagree with your comment a tad. I only say this because i too have suffered from lack of confidence and i too am around your age. I've read TONS of books about this kinda stuff and they all kinda give the same old stuff, IMHO. I find reading books about things that i don't know about: Science, history, different languages, how taxes work, make me feel better about the fact that i'm learning and can keep up a good conversation. I can have Opinions Too, ya know... Because what's lack of self confidence all about? feeling like you're not good enough, feeling like you're not smart enough, feeling unsure about yourself, right? What works for me is just meditating, taking time out to find a quiet place for ten minutes out of every single day and just think good thoughts about yourself. Think about your strengths, think about the people who love you, who dig all that you're about, and also, try things out, read more informative books about things that you are interested in whatever it may be, nourish your mind with info about whatever, take a new class in something, It's all about just accepting yourself and realizing that it doesn't matter what anyone thinks about you except yourself. Believe in yourself and others will believe in you. Accept Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 you've got to learn to accept yourself, warts and all. most people would describe me as self-confident and easy-going, but there was a long period when I was growing up that I was plagued by my weight problem and my lack of looks. I'm still heavy, I'm still not the kind of woman who can turn a man's head, but the difference is that I've become friends with myself. I won't go as far as saying I love myself, because there are some things I hate about me, but for the most part, I've accepted it. And the best way to do that is to remind yourself that you are special because you are incredibly unique. That there is no one else out there quite like you, and the world's a better place for your contribution of uniqueness. and if no one else "gets" it, that's all right – I understand and appreciate it, and that's enough. when I look in the mirror it is still the fat, unpopular, unwanted girl that I see staring back at me. let me ask you this: What is the one positive thing people see when they see, think or speak of you? Why does this make such an impression on people? there IS something good about you that draws people to you, be it a kind smile, a spirit of hospitality, a willingness to help, knowing how to communicate effectively ... even things like a sense of style or excitement draws people to each other. Identify what draws people to you, and build your self-confidence on that. Because chances are, it's something that no one else does quite as good as you. in the meantime, forget the unhappy person who tries to make your life miserable. You've grown up and left her behind in more ways than one. hugs, quank Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Just believe in yourself! Whatever that self may be... Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Your living in your head, you need to step out of yourself and see things! Link to post Share on other sites
mariJane Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 fake it till you make it, if someone compliments you just tell them thank you, fake confidence and it should follow, all the while always be objective with yourself and get to know and accept yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Poboy Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 look in the same mirror and start practising talking to yourself confidently , chin up in a good tone ... keep doing that and you will see the improvement slowly but surely ( talk about anything that intrests you and topics that you would talk to people about but woundnt do so normally ). Link to post Share on other sites
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