Sadistic_Life Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Okay, so I am inexperienced concerning relationships, so I don't really know what to do/how to respond to certain situations. Okay, well allow me just get to the story/delimma, so that you may (hopefully) shower me with helpful advice . Well, there is a guy I like, whom I have posted about before, and I kissed him once. Okay, it was a peck really, and though it was nice, it was really innocent and not what he was expecting (I think he wanted porno-tongue, but I am just not ready for that). The sad part about all this is that I am 22 years old; I should be completely comfortable kissing, but I am not. I love being friends with him, and I really do want more--in my mind I am all about the more aspect . However, I am so inexperienced (never been with a guy (thought I was a lesbian for awhile due to my really bad experience with my father), never had a boyfriend, and never made the first move on someone before) that I am so nervous and affraid that I am going to do something wrong, gross, or just stupid to completely turn him off. Yeah, speaking of stupid, and to give a grand example of my issues, today he kissed me, though he wanted me to make the first move. Well, I couldn't do it, so he did. Anyway, it was really good. I mean, I guess it was good; I don't have anything to go by, but he seemed to enjoy it, and it made my heart race. Well, this kiss wasn't very innocent (a little tongue), but it was still not very racey, which is fine for me (I actually perfer the soft sweet kiss as opposed to the porno-tongue kiss (I have kissed a few girls)). Okay, without going into detail, I could obviously tell that he was happy with it , but when he was about to shift the soft and sweet kiss into porno-tongue, I started laughing. Hahahahaha, I couldn't even help it (he's never going to want to kiss me again, I swear); I am so affraid that he is going to be completly turned off by me; it is so funny that with women I don't have any issues about it, but I think about making out with him and I get EXTREMELY nervous. I guess I just don't want to blow it with the first guy I have ever been turned on to and (2) someone I consider a really good friend (is a kiss/sexual relationship worth losing the only man in my life whom I trust?). Okay, so I guess my question is (and the reason I posted in self-help) how can I be more comfortable kissing him? How do I initiate more (he is shy, and sets up the situations for me to do things (he likes the idea of me being direct with him), but I just don't know what to do (why the hell is he putting all this pressure on me anyway? He knows how I am! ). What should I do to make myself more comfortable with him? What should I be thinking while making the move to do other things? I feel so awkward in romantic situations. One girl I was seeing told me that I was a cold bitch because I didn't know how to comfort her when she was crying about something; I am not a cold person, it's just that I don't know how to be emotionally involved with people (which probably stems back to the issues I had with my father). Sorry this is so long, I just don't know what to do. How does one act during these things? What does one think? Link to post Share on other sites
Poboy Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 you are like my girfriend in the begining. she too had never experienced any relationship before and felt awkward kissing initially. Over time , the comfort level became better and she started improving. This happened when we became more closer emotionally , only after than can you become more closer physically. If you force this , it will not work. Kiss only when the moment is right and not just for the sake of making out. Slowly , you will improve and you can do everything You have got to take into consideration the other person emotion , wants & needs which may be opposite to yours. Also dont worry about I am going to do something wrong, gross, or just stupid to completely turn him off.--- Just be yourself and share with him what you feel about this whole thing Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 You have to stop thinking about it as 'porno-tongue' for starters. They didn't originate with porn. French kisses are very sensual. They're part of enjoying the touch of a person you care about. What do you think while doing them? Maybe 'mmmmmmmm'. No need to 'think' and that's also your problem. Just enjoy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadistic_Life Posted July 29, 2006 Author Share Posted July 29, 2006 You have to stop thinking about it as 'porno-tongue' for starters. They didn't originate with porn. French kisses are very sensual. They're part of enjoying the touch of a person you care about. What do you think while doing them? Maybe 'mmmmmmmm'. No need to 'think' and that's also your problem. Just enjoy. Yeah, I do over-think things... And I didn't mean any disrespect to the nature of the french-kiss . I got the "porno-tongue" comment from the movie Wedding Singer ("Not porno-tongue...Church tongue.") Lord, I just get so nervous even thinking about it! Link to post Share on other sites
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