JJRocks606 Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 I am separated from my husband since April. I did the whole month and a half of crying, wailing, feeling sorry for myself, staying home wallowing in my sadness and regret bit.My friends finally got me to go out, and although I am kind of enjoying single life yet again, I do miss my husband deeply. The thing is, I started seeing this man. He is a colleague, actually. We started being friends, and he knows ALL about my situation. He likes me a lot, I can tell through his actions. And he understands everything that I went through, and still going through. Is it too soon to date? I mean, he;s been through some ordeal as well, and I feel as if we're comforting each other. The thing is, he's really showing a lot of emotion, and I'm afraid that I will end up hurting him too, just like I hurt my husband. It seems that I'm the queen of f*$%ing great things in my life. He's a great guy. But I still love my husband. I know there;s no hope for reconciliation with my ex, and I know that I really do like this new man in my life... What am I to do???? Link to post Share on other sites
dominsane Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 I think that you should at least try it out. I mean, it seems like you two have alot in common, he shows that he has some attraction to you, and you like him, right? Go on a date, if it goes well, go on another one... And if things don't work out, there will always be someone else... Link to post Share on other sites
prfrogkisser Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 I believe you should go for it. You have nothing to loose but a lot to gain. You dont want to go through life wondering why you didnt take a chance. There is not a set time for people to wait to start dating. This only depends on you. Maybe if you see it as not actually being a date you might be able to cope with it much better. Link to post Share on other sites
Chinook Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Actually, I'm going to go against the grain here. (Doing this alot today). I wonder whether it is actually too soon. Normally, I'd say go for it. Normally, I'd agree and say what the hell, life is too short (and it is). But the one thing which draws me in the other direction is that although you say it is pretty clear that there is no chance of reconcilliation with your ex husband, you do say that you still love him. That's a pretty difficult thing for a new person to accept and I wonder whether it may be easier to remain friends first for a while until you've worked that out. I don't know... but I'm speaking from experience as I jumped into another relationship a whole year later. I liked the guy, he was sweet and kind and everything I needed. But I was still (and still am) in love with my previous partner. So I know that there's no way I should be getting involved with anyone until my head and heart are clear and have a space for that person. It's difficult, very difficult. By getting involved with someone before I realised I was ready, I really messed up that person's life and now he's really sad too. So now three people are upset and hurt instead of the previous two. For me, I didn't recognise that I wasn't ready. I really had no clue. I thought (like you) that I was okay... when in fact, when I started seeing more of the guy... I realised it was just way too soon. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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