A Positive Update

[justice]

H and I have seen the M councelor twice now. On the last visit she asked us what we honestly thought would help our situation. ONE THING. We both thought about it and are supposed to tell her what we came up with on our next visit tomorrow. The one thing we both agreed on is that we think we should move several hundred miles from where we now live. I told H though, that even if we moved he could not do this kind of thing ever again. He seems to be truly remorseful and regrets all of the hurt he brought about and in bringing the ow into my life. This weekend, we are going back to where I am originally from and we are going to look at what is available in housing and in employment and then we are going to be making some definate plans. There are still alot of issues that I'm going to be working on in my own right and he is continually working on his also. We have been good together as of late, with the ow doing what she has been doing it has served to bring us closer instead of putting a wedge between us which is what I believe is what her efforts were for. Life is still tenous at best, but at least I can say that I can see all of the work H is putting into us and I can say I'm trying my hardest to solve all of my issues too. You know, I came to the conclusion it wasn't just one of our faults. It was all three of us's fault. His for looking elsewhere, hers for keeping at us when H clearly made it known that it was over and mine for not being sensitive to alot of things that were or weren't happening in our marriage. Hopefully, we have all learned alot from this and can use that knowledge for good purposes instead of destruction. Honesty is the best thing. And it's crucial in rebuilding trust, no matter how much it hurts. My thoughts toward the OW, I wish she were like some of the OW here in the forum where I have gotten so much good advice. And I wish her healing and to find a life of her own that fulfills her so that she doesn't need to take her anger and pain out on us anymore. I'm really working on getting past my resentment of her and her behavior, wish me luck.

[justice]

H and I have seen the M councelor twice now. On the last visit she asked us what we honestly thought would help our situation. ONE THING. We both thought about it and are supposed to tell her what we came up with on our next visit tomorrow. The one thing we both agreed on is that we think we should move several hundred miles from where we now live. I told H though, that even if we moved he could not do this kind of thing ever again. He seems to be truly remorseful and regrets all of the hurt he brought about and in bringing the ow into my life. This weekend, we are going back to where I am originally from and we are going to look at what is available in housing and in employment and then we are going to be making some definate plans. There are still alot of issues that I'm going to be working on in my own right and he is continually working on his also. We have been good together as of late, with the ow doing what she has been doing it has served to bring us closer instead of putting a wedge between us which is what I believe is what her efforts were for. Life is still tenous at best, but at least I can say that I can see all of the work H is putting into us and I can say I'm trying my hardest to solve all of my issues too. You know, I came to the conclusion it wasn't just one of our faults. It was all three of us's fault. His for looking elsewhere, hers for keeping at us when H clearly made it known that it was over and mine for not being sensitive to alot of things that were or weren't happening in our marriage. Hopefully, we have all learned alot from this and can use that knowledge for good purposes instead of destruction. Honesty is the best thing. And it's crucial in rebuilding trust, no matter how much it hurts. My thoughts toward the OW, I wish she were like some of the OW here in the forum where I have gotten so much good advice. And I wish her healing and to find a life of her own that fulfills her so that she doesn't need to take her anger and pain out on us anymore. I'm really working on getting past my resentment of her and her behavior, wish me luck.

And no, I have no misconceptions about what is ahead, I know it will be alot of commitment and hard work, but in the end, I feel it is all worthwhile.

[MsPiggy]

Happy to hear the update!! Good luck to you and your H!

[GreenEyedLady]

Justice-Glad to hear that you are on the road to recovery! Best of luck to you!