Guest Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Has anyone ever noticed that the ex always seems to come back when you are finally over them or have found someone else? Can I hear more stories or confirmations on this? Link to post Share on other sites
heartbroken411 Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Has anyone ever noticed that the ex always seems to come back when you are finally over them or have found someone else? Can I hear more stories or confirmations on this? My ex actually told me yesterday that he wants to give us another try. This was after I gave him a card that talked about how much I loved him that I meant to give him days ago. But I told him that I was over him and in fact that I hated him and never wanted to speak to him again. (This was the truth at the time because I was so angry) So I gave him the card and left for another state. I completely agree that they want you when they think they've lost you. I'm still skeptical as he was seeing someone else, but the point is that you are correct in what you said Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 I've been there and seen others in the same boat. Ex fiancé came sniffing around after about 2 years past our break up (I had moved out of the country for a year) but I couldn't have wanted someone less. A friend of mine's ex had left her to go back to someone he had loved 10 years prior. He came crawling back a year and a half later only to find she couldn't have wanted someone less. A friend of a friend of mine cried his heart out and begged his girlfriend to come back after she dumped him pretty cold heartedly. He tried for months to get her back. He finally let go. About a year or 2 later after she swore she'd never go back to him, she comes back and tells him she'll do anything he asks to get him back. He didn't take her back. Usually hte other person waits so long that the hurt has really become ingrained and the person who was hurt has no good feelings left. So if you break up with someone, make sure you hold onto good karma and do it as kindly as possible. Link to post Share on other sites
Ukwizard Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Hmmm! I m not sure on this one. My ex had been married for 10 years. Dated 6 other men. I was n.o 3! I don`t think in my scenario my ex would come back. It depends how during that time when you where with your ex you made, an impression. I know my ex is very stubborn. She still is. I know she is still dating her 6th boyfriend, and says she is very happy. I hope so, but after the honey moon period things could go sour. Who knows where she will be. Still dating? I know for a fact she doesn`t look backwards. My ex said she would never go back! Her mind has been made up after 10 years of a disappointing marriage, she wants it no way, but her way. Link to post Share on other sites
Brittanyjean06 Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 As the good old saying goes you don't know what you have until its gone. Usually ( not all the time ) thats how things go, one person gets hurt gets over it, and the the tables turn deadly on the other one who broke their hearts. Psh they desearve it My best friend dated someone for 3 months her sophmore year in high school, she fell in love with him...He broke up with her. They had an on and off relationship but he was always screwing her over. Than after two years she finally met someone else and fell in love again ( never thought she would ) I never thougth she would either, there is hope people trust me. He still is not over her and called her but this time this guy wasn't rebound. He desearves it for letting her go in the first place. Hopefully when the ex's come back and don't get what they want, they actually learn from it. Link to post Share on other sites
Ukwizard Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Brittany, are you an eternal optimist or something? lol:D My ex left me, and has never looked back. I asked for her back, and she told me, `If something else comes along....I`ll take it!` I m not sure why she even left. No closure, but she did give little examples that pissed her off. Its not like I cheated or lied. People have been dumped for bigger things. Like I said, she`s dating around. She believes she has to date around, and has to strive to find `the one`. For me, I would rather find someone nice, and work on things......For my ex, she will by-pass the nice ones, and not even know it. Why? She`s too stubborn. Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 My exbf's best friend got dumped by his gf of about 4-5 years a while back, though they remained friends. We all knew he was just waiting for her to come back, and she was in that "I'm too young for the commitment" thing. I think they were broken up abou 9months- a year. A a few days before we had schemed to set him up with a friend of ours, I saw in her web blog the words "I have made a terrible mistake." And I knew. She came back to him. And honestly? I knew they belonged together. That was about 8 months ago, they've moved in with each other, and I'm pretty this is a forever thing. It happens. Occassionally, it even sticks. Link to post Share on other sites
Ukwizard Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Hi Kittenmoon. Four to five years is a hell of a long time. Did your friends date other people? Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Hi Kittenmoon. Four to five years is a hell of a long time. Did your friends date other people? The guy didn't. There was at least one "kissing" cheating incident BEFORE breaking up on the girl's part. The incident triggered the break-up (fear of commitment) on her part, and I'm pretty sure he was devastated. She moved away, but they continued to see each other when she visited her home city. In the mean time, I'm not sure if she saw/ did anything with anyone else. He moved to be with her not too long ago.(his career being mobile and hers wasn't) Makes me wonder if I'll get another chance with my ex (6.5 years together and a very similar situation as these two)... of course, I should figure out if I even want one... Actually, I'm getting a pretty good collection of "second chance" stories that were successful, but I'm too tired to go over them all. Link to post Share on other sites
Ukwizard Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Hey, thats alright Kitten, there`s no need for all the examples of second chances. Save it for another time. It appears that you are possibly wanting a second chance. You sound like you are hinting at one. Am I right? I`d like a second chance too except my ex is dating someone else. That really hurts. I ve never been given a second chance before, as I haven`t dated that many girls, but given the information you have submitted. It does appear some people do get another chance, albeit months, or even years down the line. I think people do change, and instead of dating new people, it gets tiring finding out about new faults, and problems with the new person they date. Maybe they sometimes go back because the person they dated in previousily the past, they know what the faults are, and then decide to give it another go. What do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
Brittanyjean06 Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Okay guys see the word usually??? Thats why I put it in there so people don't try correct me? lol no I am actually very pestimistic I try to be optimistic. Not all ex's come back some do some don't. Mine probaly never will Link to post Share on other sites
Ukwizard Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 What makes you think Brittany that he won`t come back? Give an example or two? Link to post Share on other sites
sirjay Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 I'm not over my ex one bit but I think she came back recently after a few months because I looked like I was and I was having a great time. She isn't saying she wants to get back together, nor is she saying she doesn't, but there is this huge undercurrent of emotion going on under this superficial veneer of "friends". We'll see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Brittanyjean06 Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Well He has this all mighty pride and stubborness. He is sociopathic( or has all of those tendancies ) so having control over another makes him happy more than anything I have not heard from him in a year! and My hopes are that he comes back and I am over him. he went with her because he had to move on after what I said to him I guess. I think his motto is out of site out of mind, because 7 months ago when I saw him in the car He smiled at me than said " oh damnit " any ex's come back to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Ukwizard Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Well I m not sure if my school days count. I dated a girl when I was around 15, and she really liked me. She managed to get hold of my address when I moved away like 100 miles away. Although that was flattering, it led to no where. Unfortunately the internet wasn`t that popular back then. I think exs may only come back in our lives when they have no one else to love so they look into their past to see who they can contact again. I did this once, and contacted a girl after not seeing her for 8 years. I had no one in mind, and was living in a new city, and thought I havent heard from such, and such. I need to make contact to rekindle that level of flame we once had. Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Hey, thats alright Kitten, there`s no need for all the examples of second chances. Save it for another time. It appears that you are possibly wanting a second chance. You sound like you are hinting at one. Am I right? I`d like a second chance too except my ex is dating someone else. That really hurts. I ve never been given a second chance before, as I haven`t dated that many girls, but given the information you have submitted. It does appear some people do get another chance, albeit months, or even years down the line. I think people do change, and instead of dating new people, it gets tiring finding out about new faults, and problems with the new person they date. Maybe they sometimes go back because the person they dated in previousily the past, they know what the faults are, and then decide to give it another go. What do you think? I don't know if I want a second chance with him or not. On one hand, I remember our first 6 years- not perfect, but pretty damn good. On the other, I remember the last 6 months. Some situations exist that would make reconcilliation VERY difficult, if not impossible. My gut tells me that he doesn't realize the scope of these situations, and that if he did he wouldn't be willing to put the effort in, make the sacrifices, etc to fix them. (And though we've been broken up over 5 months, I'm pretty sure he hasn't dated anyone else). But yea- everybody has faults. I think its about finding the faults you can live with. And that person who compliments you. In my example above, the two people really complimented each other, and I think the girl realized after a while that what was out there wasn't any better, mostly worse. Link to post Share on other sites
Brittanyjean06 Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 That woulden't make me feel too good knowing that my ex only came back because he had no one else to love. I would take that as effense if it took him all this time to realise what he had. Hopefully if that ever does happen, I send him the Boot! Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 That woulden't make me feel too good knowing that my ex only came back because he had no one else to love. I would take that as effense if it took him all this time to realise what he had. Hopefully if that ever does happen, I send him the Boot! Yeah but Brit- your ex was a jerk! no offense... Link to post Share on other sites
Brittanyjean06 Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Oh don't worry none taken! If anything that makes me feel good. I would hate to be hurting over someone who was actually worth it just kidding Don't all jerks get their fair share in life? Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Don't all jerks get their fair share in life? I'm not sure they do... but it does seem "jerks" never really live contently, which might be a "fair share" afterall. Link to post Share on other sites
Brittanyjean06 Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 I'm not sure they do... but it does seem "jerks" never really live contently, which might be a "fair share" afterall. Well said kittenmoon! I believe everyone goes through tough times in life so their bound to experience something. I shoulden't wish that upon them but Its hard when Im still this hurt. I try to hold back the bitterness. But you are right on that one. Link to post Share on other sites
Ukwizard Posted July 29, 2006 Share Posted July 29, 2006 "When they come back?" Well that`s the question. Remember? Well its Saturday night, and I m on my lonesome again. I know my ex is seeing her new man. This is her 3rd month she is seeing him. It still hurts. I ve emailed her, every now and again, but she never replies. I dont know what she is thinking. I know that she has not kept a word to what she said when she split up with me, "Lets be friends, and you are welcome to my home anytime", "We`ll go out for meals, and drinks". Not any sign of that. I told her it would be hard too still be friends when a new man is involved. She did still agree to be friends, and I think she originally wnated to. I told her I would hurt if I would lose her as a friend. Now I have lost her all over again. She doesnt email nor text me anymore. At times I feel so low, as she let me in her life, and now she has cut me out like if I m nothing. I ve sent her 2 daughters birthdays cards, and sent her one, and I get nothing in return. Why? Its not like I lied or cheated. She left me for the smallest of things. She said to another friend, that she thought our relationship wasnt going anywhere, a lot of liitle thgings built up to one big thing before she dumped me. Will she come back? Does she want me back? When will they come back? Only time will tell. (by then I may have moved on......and thats when of course, they do come back!) Link to post Share on other sites
Brittanyjean06 Posted July 29, 2006 Share Posted July 29, 2006 Uk- You really shoulden't be friends with her, you don't need her in your life. She has a new man and this will only prolong the healing process. Would you really want to know how she and her new man are doing? She can be your friend but you really can't be hers. In fact don't even let her know your hurting. Time will tell. But I look at it like this we all go through tough times and it will make you feel better to know she will also have those tough times in life to. Link to post Share on other sites
Ukwizard Posted July 29, 2006 Share Posted July 29, 2006 Thanks for your reassuring words. Love. Funny thing isnt it? I m 32 and she`s 39. She had been been married for 10 years, (although separated) and has had 6 boyfriends in the last 18 months or so. I was number 3. I just wanted her to let me show that I could love her. I wanted a second chance. Embarrasing to say, she was was my first love. I would love to know how she is doing. Of course it hurts, but she connived her way out of our relationship. She doesnt hate me as a person, but she has said some really hurtful things when she left. Asked when I could have her back, she replied "If something else comes along, then I ll take it!" and "Why don`t you date around first, and then come back to me!" I ve been on a rollercoaster of feelings. Happiness, hurt, anger, fustration, and sadness. Why did she leave. There was NOTHING that we couldnt fix. Don`t tell her how much I hurt? A bit late for that. I sent her a huge email to let her know. Yes she will have tough times in her life too. If it was so tough for her, then why did she leave. At least I could have helped her through it. She never told me anything, just hid things. It wasn`t until after we split up, that she told me what went wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 Uk- You really shoulden't be friends with her, you don't need her in your life. She has a new man and this will only prolong the healing process. I agree. My ex came back twice and I took him back both times before I smartened up and realized he didn't mean me no good. Now I could kick myself because It took me that much longer to move on each time. I agree its best to just grieve and move on so as to have a speedy healing process. When and if they do come back most of the time its because they know that you will be there waiting with open arms or as Brittany said they have probably been on the receiving end of bad karma and now want to come back. Link to post Share on other sites
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