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Way too upset


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Lemonade521

Hi everyone,

I've never posted on here, but people seem to be pretty vocal and supportive. So, here goes.

 

I am currently in a theater production, and twice last week I kissed one of the other actors. This actor and I have been emailing and texting each other a lot since last week as well. We both have an enormous attractio/pull to each other. I even avoided him as much as possible until last week so I wouldn't be tempted, but I gave in. He told me that he wanted to continue what we are doing, and I decided I wanted to as well (which I obviously see was only one of my mistakes). However, a few days ago he changed his mind, and I have been a mess ever since. An absolute, hysterical mess over an experience that has lasted for only a week.

 

I have been in a healthy, stable relationship for 3 years. I know that I should be focusing on the consequences of my actions on my relationship and BF, as well as the cracks that my straying has exposed. I know this.

 

However, I am stuck in my feelings. Why am I so broken up about the guy's decision not to continue? Why can't I function? Of course, ending this contact is the right thing to do. One complicating factor is that our show doesn't go up for another month, and the last weeks of rehearsal we are going to be seeing A LOT of each other. I just can't concentrate on anything, I haven't eaten in days, I'm very anxious, and I can't stop crying.

 

Any words of advice would be wonderful. I don't know how to get through this.

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Maybe you could ask him why he changed his mind? Is he in a relationship as well? I would imagine anytime someone is in the acting business it might sometimes be hard to seperate your real feelings from just acting. However, its probably best he didn't want to continue things. I think you need to put your time and energy back into the relationship you are currently in with your b/f.

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You need to be honest with your boyfriend and tell him what is happening so you both can fix the relationship. If the roles were reversed, wouldn't you expect your boyfriend to be honest with you?

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Lemonade521

Thanks for your responses. It turns out that the guy is pursuing another girl in the cast, and I guess he stopped things with me so that he could continue with her. I know this from the other girl. He did email me again to continue our email flirting, but I confronted him about the other girl and told him not to hurt her. I feel better, knowing what an ass he is. I'm still attracted to him, but I'm guessing that will fade with time.

 

Of course, the real issue is with my boyfriend, and I have to figure out why I even considered cheating. I'm not sure what's going on there, but I guess that's a post for another board.

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