moody people

[mystique]

why is leaving someone always the answer?

 

why don't people stay together anymore to

 

work things out?

 

why at the first hint of trouble the ideal

 

thing to do is leave that person?

 

my hurts so much today whilst i sit here and

 

think of these things.

 

my bo is a good man and i know he loves me

 

endlessly and would do anything for me.

 

but what about when the one you love is such

 

a bear at times to live with?

 

really, i've never seen someone change moods

 

so fast from like 0-90 in a split 2nd.

 

we've only been together for a wile but i care

 

a great deal for him.

 

i just don't know if i can handle these moods of

 

his any longer.

 

is this normal for guys to be this way from work?

 

i don't have a hole lot of experience with dating

 

since i am still young, but if this is what guys

 

are like then i think i will get a dog instead.

 

what worries me is that he can be so sweet and attentive

 

one second then a bear the next then back to being so sweet again.

 

i feel put out when he gets this way since he acts like i'm suppose to just bounce right back with his good mood after being in a bad mood and if i don't then it just keeps going on and on.

 

how does one live with this kind of person, or don't they?

[Tony T]

1. why is leaving someone always the answer?

 

It's not. Where did you get this from?

 

2. Why don't people stay together anymore to

 

work things out?

 

They do, most of the time. However, people rightly put limits on just how much time they'll spend trying to work things out. Eventually, many people realize that the negatives in the relationship just aren't going to change. Life is too short to put up with certain kinds of crap.

 

3. why at the first hint of trouble the ideal

 

thing to do is leave that person?

 

Who told you this? You got very bad information. Most people do try but rational people aren't going to put up with disrespect or lack of consideration. Many people will dump a person in an instant if they catch them cheating. Cheating and stuff like robbery, murder, etc. are excellent reasons for leaving at the first hint rather than sticking around. The crime stuff doesn't happen often but, unfortunately, the cheating stuff does and people usually leave after they realize how difficult it is to restore the trust.

 

4. my bo is a good man and i know he loves me

 

endlessly and would do anything for me.

 

That's wonderful but no matter how much somebody loves you and would do for you, there can be elements of a relationship that are just totally intolerable.

 

5. but what about when the one you love is such

 

a bear at times to live with?

 

If you can put up with it, great. If it wears you down to the point that the quality of your life is substantially reduced, your energy level is drained, you are living on eggshells, I think it's time to move on down the road.

 

6. really, i've never seen someone change moods

 

so fast from like 0-90 in a split 2nd.

 

Go study psychiatry and spend some time with people with mood disorders, schizophrenia, bipolar mood disorder, panic disorder, depression, etc. You just won't believe it. There are drugs that can handle those things with no problem, though, if people will just take the time.

 

7. i just don't know if i can handle these moods of

 

his any longer.

 

You are the only person who can make this decision. Chances are good that if he doesn't change, you will be so worn you will remain with him out of fatigue and indifference or you will leave him on the next space shuttle. See if you can get him help.

 

8. is this normal for guys to be this way from work?

 

Some men handle stress differently than others. Some people are not affected by what happens in their workplace. Generally, those people came from very calm and rational family backgrounds where they were taught to proritize and put things in perspective. People who go bonkers from work problems were screwed up long before they entered the work force.

 

9. i don't have a hole lot of experience with dating

 

since i am still young, but if this is what guys

 

are like then i think i will get a dog instead.

 

No, guys aren't all like this. There are some great ones around. But you may still want to keep the dog alternative in mind.

 

10. what worries me is that he can be so sweet and attentive

 

one second then a bear the next then back to being so sweet again.

 

Sounds like an alcoholic...or someone with a severe mood disorder. This is not normal and if you continue to be around him without him getting medical or other appropriate treatment or going into recovery, you will condemn yourself to a life of absolute and total hell. But you are the one that seems to have a problem with people leaving people so maybe you can get used to living in hell.

 

11. i feel put out when he gets this way since he acts like i'm suppose to just bounce right back with his good mood after being in a bad mood and if i don't then it just keeps going on and on.

 

Well, isn't that special!!!

 

12. how does one live with this kind of person, or don't they?

 

People who come from very chaotic homes of origin, or highly dysfunctional families, may be right at home with this guy...for a time. When they evolve and heal from the past, they wouldn't give this guy the time of day. Sane, rational people from good families would not be with your guy at all nor would they even try to. Life is way too short and there are too many guys who are much easier to live with.

 

Happy Holidays!!!

[mystique]

1. why is leaving someone always the answer? It's not. Where did you get this from?

i've read alot of post on here where people tell people to leave the person they are with.

2. Why don't people stay together anymore to work things out? They do, most of the time. However, people rightly put limits on just how much time they'll spend trying to work things out. Eventually, many people realize that the negatives in the relationship just aren't going to change. Life is too short to put up with certain kinds of crap.

what if the good is worth keeping but the negative sucks?

3. why at the first hint of trouble the ideal> thing to do is leave that person? Who told you this? You got very bad information. Most people do try but rational people aren't going to put up with disrespect or lack of consideration. Many people will dump a person in an instant if they catch them cheating. Cheating and stuff like robbery, murder, etc. are excellent reasons for leaving at the first hint rather than sticking around. The crime stuff doesn't happen often but, unfortunately, the cheating stuff does and people usually leave after they realize how difficult it is to restore the trust.

i know people who get in fights with their g/f or b'f and the first thing they want to do is leave them.

4. my bo is a good man and i know he loves me endlessly and would do anything for me. That's wonderful but no matter how much somebody loves you and would do for you, there can be elements of a relationship that are just totally intolerable.

i agree, but it's hard to tell when you reach that point

 

when matters of the heart are present.

5. but what about when the one you love is such a bear at times to live with? If you can put up with it, great. If it wears you down to the point that the quality of your life is substantially reduced, your energy level is drained, you are living on eggshells, I think it's time to move on down the road.

it's like changing from day to day, some are so

 

good and so wonderful then others are horrible, that is the good one's keep me coming back and being hopeful for more while the bad one's keep me confused and hurt.

6. really, i've never seen someone change moods so fast from like 0-90 in a split 2nd. Go study psychiatry and spend some time with people with mood disorders, schizophrenia, bipolar mood disorder, panic disorder, depression, etc. You just won't believe it. There are drugs that can handle those things with no problem, though, if people will just take the time.

he doesn't really drink much just once or twice a

 

week, he don't have the other things you mentioned either.

7. i just don't know if i can handle these moods of his any longer. You are the only person who can make this decision. Chances are good that if he doesn't change, you will be so worn you will remain with him out of fatigue and indifference or you will leave him on the next space shuttle. See if you can get him help.

i'm already worn out and wondering when next he will

 

have a bad day or a bad mood, but he says i'm moody too?

8. is this normal for guys to be this way from work? Some men handle stress differently than others. Some people are not affected by what happens in their workplace. Generally, those people came from very calm and rational family backgrounds where they were taught to proritize and put things in perspective. People who go bonkers from work problems were screwed up long before they entered the work force.

he handles stress horribly, i told him tonight that

 

he needs to be in better control and he agreed, but next time, he may blow up again at me.

9. i don't have a hole lot of experience with dating > since i am still young, but if this is what guys > are like then i think i will get a dog instead.

maybe i'll just stick with the dog idea.

No, guys aren't all like this. There are some great ones around. But you may still want to keep the dog alternative in mind. 10. what worries me is that he can be so sweet and attentive one second then a bear the next then back to being so sweet again. Sounds like an alcoholic...or someone with a severe mood disorder. This is not normal and if you continue to be around him without him getting medical or other appropriate treatment or going into recovery, you will condemn yourself to a life of absolute and total hell. But you are the one that seems to have a problem with people leaving people so maybe you can get used to living in hell.

i don't want to live in hell, but it is interesting

 

and more exciting but this is the way i grew up, and i don't really want to relive it every day, so how do you break this cycle?

11. i feel put out when he gets this way since he acts like i'm suppose to just bounce right back with his good mood after being in a bad mood and if i don't then it just keeps going on and on. Well, isn't that special!!!

i didn't understand your response, is this normal, or am i just dumb here? should people just stop like that and act like nothing happened so the fight does not continue?

 

it's kinda hard when hurtful things have been said cause he is stressing and says things that he don't mean out of anger, then apologized, then i'm suppose to be okay again too, is that right?

12. how does one live with this kind of person, or don't they? People who come from very chaotic homes of origin, or highly dysfunctional families, may be right at home with this guy...for a time. When they evolve and heal from the past, they wouldn't give this guy the time of day. Sane, rational people from good families would not be with your guy at all nor would they even try to. Life is way too short and there are too many guys who are much easier to live with.

how does one go about evolving and healing from the past?

 

maybe i can heal from the past but i love him alot, and want to evolve with him but not like this, not anymore.

 

how manychances should i give him?

Happy Holidays!!!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU TOO!!!

[Nobel]

why is leaving someone always the answer?

 

why don't people stay together anymore to

 

work things out? why at the first hint of trouble the ideal

 

thing to do is leave that person? my hurts so much today whilst i sit here and think of these things. my bo is a good man and i know he loves me

 

endlessly and would do anything for me. but what about when the one you love is such

 

a bear at times to live with? really, i've never seen someone change moods

 

so fast from like 0-90 in a split 2nd. we've only been together for a wile but i care a great deal for him. i just don't know if i can handle these moods of his any longer. is this normal for guys to be this way from work? i don't have a hole lot of experience with dating since i am still young, but if this is what guys are like then i think i will get a dog instead.

 

what worries me is that he can be so sweet and attentive one second then a bear the next then back to being so sweet again. i feel put out when he gets this way since he acts like i'm suppose to just bounce right back with his good mood after being in a bad mood and if i don't then it just keeps going on and on. how does one live with this kind of person, or don't they?

 

Hey girl, don't get too mad at your man, I have the same complex, I really don't know why it happens (probably neither does he). Read my posts "mind in tatters" and "O.K. This is weird", it might help you and might give me some insight.