sirjay Posted July 29, 2006 Share Posted July 29, 2006 Me and my brother both have issues going back to our parents' divorce and infighting during our early childhood. Even though we are in our mid 30's, he still exhibits behavioural patterns which I find very difficult to handle. We have been through extended periods of not talking to each other to avoid fighting. He does this with all of the family but particularly me. I want to learn more about the below and would appreciate any advice : Although he loves me as a brother, he also has a very hateful and destructive streak. As a child, rather than confront me directly, he would break things that I made behind my back and deny it, set up situations where I would get into trouble and he would be seen as the wounded party and "rescued" etc. In more recent times, this behavior has continued into such incidents as him trying to destroy the relationship with my girlfriend with lies. Up until very recently, he has adamantly refused to acknowledge that he does this, despite the whole family bearing witness to it. I was never sure if he was doing it subconsciously or if he really was that manipulative. On the face of it, he is friendly and kind but he can flip and lash out, or he can do very subtle but really nasty things to get at us. What is this behaviour called? Is it passive-aggressive? Where can I find out more about it? When it is directed at you, what is the best way to deal with it? Any help appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
Broken2peices Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 Hey, I dont know if I can help you out very much but I have one suggestion... Have you ever tried theropy? Maybe you can do a family theropy thing.. Like you and him or even your whole family, getting him to admit it will probably be the hardest task but once you are past that he will probably admit he has a problem and get help... I hope that helps! Best wishs ~Broken2peices Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Hi friend, I feel your pain, having someone destructive in your life is not healthy. Your brother sounds like someone who would lie even if you were in therapy from him. My biggest piece of advice is to break off ties with him. You do not need this kind of drama in your life. You have been through enough, and go to therapy to heal for yourself. Good Luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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