So Very Confused!!!!!

[Angie]

I have been dating a guy for 3 months, and we are very much in love, atleast i think he is too. He lives with me and my parents, my parents love him like their own. He always cries because he says he loves me so much and he doesnt want to lose me. Well i have 2 major problems, and i need help. The first one is his mom, his mother hasnt never met me and hates me, ive tried talking to her and she still refuses to give me a chance. Well the other problem is he has an ex that has his 18 month old daughter, she refuses to let him see his daughter. well a few days ago he came home from work and told me he is moving back home for 3 months, he said that way he could see his daughter the ex told his mother she wont let him see his daughter until he moves out of my parents house. i dont understand this, because she hasnt been letting him see her anyways. I think that his mother and ex are working against me to get his ex and him back together. Ive talked to him about this and he just keeps telling me He loves ME and this is not going to tear us apart. he also says another reason he is doing this is to make things better for us, he is planning on getting a part time job as well as his full time job he says so we can both save and move out after the beginning of the year,we have discussed getting married in april 2001, he says it is going to help us as well. Im so confused and i feel like they are going to try to get him away from me, he keeps telling me i have nothing to worry about, if they critasize me he is moving back over here. he promises me that we are going to be ok. Please tell me what you think i need all the help i can get. I knwo he loves me but does he think he is doing the right thing. He also doesnt know for sure if his daughter is his, and now his mother has told him if he goes to court with his ex that they will court order a paternity test, he says he doesnt want that so he is just going to make her happy by moving home. I feel that he shoudl go to court because if he doesnt she is going to contiue running his life. How can i deal with this, and trust him with what he is saying, it all sounds weird to me. can you please help me??

 

Thank You

 

So Very Confused

[carol]

I think that you guys have alot of problems considering that you have only been dating for 3 months. Maybe you should slow down and stop talking about marraige until he straightens out his life. He seems like a nice guy who is trying to do the right thing. Just take things slow for a while and give him some space to take care of whatever he needs to do to see his child.

I have been dating a guy for 3 months, and we are very much in love, atleast i think he is too. He lives with me and my parents, my parents love him like their own. He always cries because he says he loves me so much and he doesnt want to lose me. Well i have 2 major problems, and i need help. The first one is his mom, his mother hasnt never met me and hates me, ive tried talking to her and she still refuses to give me a chance. Well the other problem is he has an ex that has his 18 month old daughter, she refuses to let him see his daughter. well a few days ago he came home from work and told me he is moving back home for 3 months, he said that way he could see his daughter the ex told his mother she wont let him see his daughter until he moves out of my parents house. i dont understand this, because she hasnt been letting him see her anyways. I think that his mother and ex are working against me to get his ex and him back together. Ive talked to him about this and he just keeps telling me He loves ME and this is not going to tear us apart. he also says another reason he is doing this is to make things better for us, he is planning on getting a part time job as well as his full time job he says so we can both save and move out after the beginning of the year,we have discussed getting married in april 2001, he says it is going to help us as well. Im so confused and i feel like they are going to try to get him away from me, he keeps telling me i have nothing to worry about, if they critasize me he is moving back over here. he promises me that we are going to be ok. Please tell me what you think i need all the help i can get. I knwo he loves me but does he think he is doing the right thing. He also doesnt know for sure if his daughter is his, and now his mother has told him if he goes to court with his ex that they will court order a paternity test, he says he doesnt want that so he is just going to make her happy by moving home. I feel that he shoudl go to court because if he doesnt she is going to contiue running his life. How can i deal with this, and trust him with what he is saying, it all sounds weird to me. can you please help me??

 

Thank You So Very Confused

[Sue]

You guys have alot on your plate and alot of emotions there for only dating 3 months. It's fantastic that you are so sure about your feelings ... that will take you far. As far as him, his ex, and his daughter, his ex has no right to keep him from his daughter. If he wants visitation rights, it's not up to her if he gets them, he can, and should go to court. Moving back with her is NOT the answer.

 

Good luck.

I have been dating a guy for 3 months, and we are very much in love, atleast i think he is too. He lives with me and my parents, my parents love him like their own. He always cries because he says he loves me so much and he doesnt want to lose me. Well i have 2 major problems, and i need help. The first one is his mom, his mother hasnt never met me and hates me, ive tried talking to her and she still refuses to give me a chance. Well the other problem is he has an ex that has his 18 month old daughter, she refuses to let him see his daughter. well a few days ago he came home from work and told me he is moving back home for 3 months, he said that way he could see his daughter the ex told his mother she wont let him see his daughter until he moves out of my parents house. i dont understand this, because she hasnt been letting him see her anyways. I think that his mother and ex are working against me to get his ex and him back together. Ive talked to him about this and he just keeps telling me He loves ME and this is not going to tear us apart. he also says another reason he is doing this is to make things better for us, he is planning on getting a part time job as well as his full time job he says so we can both save and move out after the beginning of the year,we have discussed getting married in april 2001, he says it is going to help us as well. Im so confused and i feel like they are going to try to get him away from me, he keeps telling me i have nothing to worry about, if they critasize me he is moving back over here. he promises me that we are going to be ok. Please tell me what you think i need all the help i can get. I knwo he loves me but does he think he is doing the right thing. He also doesnt know for sure if his daughter is his, and now his mother has told him if he goes to court with his ex that they will court order a paternity test, he says he doesnt want that so he is just going to make her happy by moving home. I feel that he shoudl go to court because if he doesnt she is going to contiue running his life. How can i deal with this, and trust him with what he is saying, it all sounds weird to me. can you please help me??

 

Thank You So Very Confused

[Totally Confused]

I know what you're going through seems absolutely insane and crazy, but, if you don't mind my bluntness. It is crazy and you are being played for a fool. This guy is lying to you. I don't care how honest and close you think you are, he is playing you. His crocodile tears may come across as real and genuine, but you are being used. Think about it. why would a guy (a normal guy) move in with a girl he's only been dating 3 months. i would never let that happen. that in itself is insane. you only know what he choses to tell you. there is more to this story, because what you've described in your letter has many many pieces to a puzzle that is missing. i don't think this guy has been honest with you since the first meeting. i think he got kicked out of his house. i think he hurt the girl who has his baby, i think it is his kid and i think he's moving out, because he may actually wants to get back with her or has met someone else. he probably tells you his mother doesn't like you, because he doesn't want you and she talking, cause you might actually find out the truth. instead of taking this guys word for it and trying to figure out what going on from what he's telling you, why don't you try to do some detective work on your own and try to find out what this guys real deal is. it's certainly not what he's telling you and if you stay in this situation, the only one that's going to be hurt is you. once he moves out, he's going to be gone for good. you might get a phone call here or there, but that's it. there are two sides to every story and you've only heard his. why did his mother kick him out? his response is probably that she's crazy. there's more to it than that, i can guarantee. why does his mother not like you? just because? what kind of reason is that. his ex with the baby. she's probably a victm. you don't know what she went through with him. he probably said she was crazy too. i know you really care about this guy, but you can't possibly know and love someone after only 3 mo. real love grows over time. he's throwing that word around way too much. that should make you warry if anything. i don't know how you got yourself into this situation, but i would suggest you get at as soon as possible and find a normal man. this guy is sick in the head w/ way too many issues. he sounds like a compulsive liar. he's not the victim, you are.