amaysngrace Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 I have no idea what I thought she'd be like. I knew she's seven years younger than me. She's never had kids. He had told me she looked like a model. My kids said she was really pretty. So in my head I thought she must be a complete knock-out. I swear, today, she looked like me as a blonde. I felt so sorry for her. She had that look, that insecure look I know I must have had when I was with him. It was almost as if she was intimidated by me. Just as I had been made to feel by him whenever another pretty girl was around. I feel so sorry for her, just like I said the very first time I knew he had a girlfriend. I just want to take her and shake her and say "wake up". And all this time he acted like he'd changed. But acted is all he did. He is still the same guy. He will most likely treat her the way he treated me. I could see he already has. I could see it in her eyes. It just confirms what I've known all along. He didn't treat me bad because I am me. He'd treat any woman that way. I learned not to take it personally, and if I had any doubts about that, they are all erased now. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Yeah, isn't that great??? My exhusband is remarried. Every couple of weeks he'll do something and I'll hear about it through the kids and my leaving him will be reinforced. His new wife just had surgery but he went out of town this weekend to pursue his hobbies Different woman, same man! Link to post Share on other sites
Author amaysngrace Posted July 31, 2006 Author Share Posted July 31, 2006 His new wife just had surgery but he went out of town this weekend to pursue his hobbies Different woman, same man! OMG, that is so true! Guys like that should just get off with themselves and leave women alone. I know exactly what you mean, Mz. P, about the constant reinforcers. Never once, not even once, did I question leaving this man. At least it got our bums in gear to raise the bar higher. Imagine the poor women who haven't a clue. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 OMG, that is so true! Guys like that should just get off with themselves and leave women alone. I know exactly what you mean, Mz. P, about the constant reinforcers. Never once, not even once, did I question leaving this man. At least it got our bums in gear to raise the bar higher. Imagine the poor women who haven't a clue. Well, he wants a woman to have sex with and to take care of him and his kids but he doesn't want a "marriage"- not in the way that I do anyways. He's not just a terrible evil person but he just wants different things out of life than I do. His new wife though is perfect for him. I've known her for years. In her first marriage she did anything her husband wanted and everything was all about him. She put him through school, she raised their son, took him to daycare even when her husband was off for the day, when they needed furniture she bought him sports equipment, when she needed a new car, he got a new truck. She's PERFECT for him! No needs of her own!!! What's funny is that he insisted that he would change, he would change, he would change. Bottom line is that he hasn't, and I'm glad I wasn't the fool that gave him the 16th chance to change! Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 You've got to get with someone ~ so you can figure out what you're not looking for to get a better vision of what you are looking for. She'll sh*tcan him as soon as she comes down with a good case of T-PMS ~ "Tired of Putting Up With Men's Sh*t!" Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Yeah, isn't that great??? My exhusband is remarried. Every couple of weeks he'll do something and I'll hear about it through the kids and my leaving him will be reinforced. His new wife just had surgery but he went out of town this weekend to pursue his hobbies Different woman, same man! "What Women Want" the author's describe how a wife went snow sking with her MD husband. She blew out her knee, and he told he to catch the lift down the mountain ~ and find a Dr. and he would catch up with her later ~ when he was trough sking. She told him if she got to the bottom of the mountain ~ she would be finding herself a lawyer." These charcthers abound and are everywhere you look ~ and they're the very ones who never get "it". Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Well, he wants a woman to have sex with and to He wants a VLSS - Vaginal Life Support System ~ a Sperm Depository! Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 You've got to get with someone ~ so you can figure out what you're not looking for to get a better vision of what you are looking for. She'll sh*tcan him as soon as she comes down with a good case of T-PMS ~ "Tired of Putting Up With Men's Sh*t!" Wow, truer words were never spoken! That's been exactly my experience to a "T." After nine years with the wrong man (and a couple before that), I REALLY knew what I wanted and didn't want. I was never going to settle and I didn't. But I also never would have appreciated what I have now, had it not been for the negative experience I had with the ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 ... I also never would have appreciated what I have now, had it not been for the negative experience I had with the ex. It has been hard to see "from here", but I'm very much looking forward to a day in the future whan I will say this, as well.. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 But like all good things, you're going to have to work for it! Abraham Lincolon ~ who was married to a certified nut case ~ said that "Most people are about as happy as they make their minds up to be!" I took that and worked with it ~ because I believe that who you are is a product of how you think, (and you can control your thoughts) which is based upon your belief system. In my life I've been through and seen less than some ~ more than most here in the United States. And, compared to what most people in this world go through and have to deal with, I've not been through anything. Divorce? Compared to many, many people in this world ~ is a cake walk. Its all relative. But, to build on my previous post about you're having to get with people to discover what you don't and aren't looking for in order to get a clearer vision of what you are looking for. You ask most men what they're dream car is and they can describe it to you to a "T" down to the minute detail. You ask what kind of women they're looking for and you're going to get a bunch of stuttering and sputtering. This is less so with women ~ but still hold true for some of them. Most women (and men) go for the physical attraction the first time around ~ they go for the jocks ~ only to find out that they don't necessarly make such good husbands. Having been around the track a couple of times ~ they then look for other charcteristics. Some never learn! Link to post Share on other sites
Author amaysngrace Posted August 1, 2006 Author Share Posted August 1, 2006 I don't really have a list of what I want from a guy. Not at all. I think I want someone who I feel good being around. I'm not quite sure what the mix is going to be, like what kind of qualities he'll possess, but I'm more or less going for a vibe. And if I get a bad one from someone, I'm steering clear. Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 There's a lot of qualities that I really loved about my exh. So much that I sacrificed and put up with other qualities. Now I fear getting involved with any man that remotely resembles anything like my exh, and any who dont. I think I'm actually enjoying just being by myself. So much less effort involved. I'm tired of trying to please people and wondering if I'm doing a good enough job. I'm tired of second guessing everything. If only I could be a ONS type of girl, then I'd probably be pretty damn happy. Wham bam, now get out Link to post Share on other sites
uksurfer Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 If only I could be a ONS type of girl, then I'd probably be pretty damn happy. Wham bam, now get out Our date's still on, right? Just checking. Heh. Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 lol i think you missed the words "If only" lol But if NON-ons are your thing, i'm your girl! Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 I can completely sympathise with your experiance. I remember meeting my exH new W , the first time after they got married. It was very closely after we divorced. She said sometinng sweet to our kids like "look your baloon got away ,,, it will float up there and crash into an airplane ." My two year old ( at the times ) eyes got all big and instead of crying he looked up after his baloon in amazement . Then my ex looked right at me and said "shes not usually like that, I don't know why she says things like that" and scowled in her direction. She just looked at her feet. I felt so bad for her and so relieved at the same time . I put up with him for years and everyday am glad to not be doing it anymore .But now its her choice .Still I feel bad for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 lol i think you missed the words "If only" lol Actually, with the width my browser was set to when I first read your post, the "If only" was at the end of on one line, and as I quickly scanned down your post, I missed that, but the beginning of the next line popped out at me: "I could be a ONS type of girl..." And I thought, "You go, Dgiirl!!" Link to post Share on other sites
uksurfer Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 Actually, with the width my browser was set to Ahh, the old "wrong browser width" pickup line. I've heard 'em all now. :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 You've got to get with someone ~ so you can figure out what you're not looking for to get a better vision of what you are looking for. She'll sh*tcan him as soon as she comes down with a good case of T-PMS ~ "Tired of Putting Up With Men's Sh*t!" Nah, I really don't think she will. I think she's always loved him- they dated in high school- and she always kind of had a "thing" for him. I thought I picked the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And it worked for a bit. I covered up the fact that he didn't seem to love me as much as I loved him with my job, my kids and all kinds of stuff. Then, my grandmother died- and she was the only person who had ever put me first in my life. At that point I reevaluated that life was short and he was never going to wake up and become a grown up. He had promised alot that he would invest more time in our marriage and he never would. The last time he actually said "I do not have time to work on our marriage" but yet he had time to invest 40 weekends out of the year playing in the woods and on the lake with his buddies?? Sometimes I cringe when people marry early because what you want at 23 doesn't make a whole hell of a lot of sense at 34! Link to post Share on other sites
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