friends with benefits

[cchagdes]

Golly i am going to feel like the most stupidest person on the planet but i need some advice.

 

See i am in a relationship with a really great guy but all he talks about is his exgirlfriend and it annoys me and like all he wants to do besides talk about his ex girlfriend is make love. I love making love but after a while it does get a bit boring (you know, always happening).

 

And on top of that i still have some feelings for my ex who is dating my best friend at the moment and like her boyfriend and i did date in the past and a little bit recently before he hooked up with my best friend. Well her boyfriend brought up the idea of being friends with benefits with me being his friend with benefits. I have done it before but at the time he wasn't dating anyone so i didn't really have to be too concerned. But now i dont know what to do, i feel sneaky to my best friend by going behind her back just to be with her man for something that is just sexual and i also feel bad because i know if my boyfriend caught wind of everythign he would break up with me.

 

Nothing has happened between me and my best friend's man but what confuses me the most is that she did tell him that he could have a friends with benefits as long as she didn't have to hear about it, and being that me and her man basically agreed to being friends with benefits i kind of feel bad because this girl is a really great friend and we talk about everything but i just can't tell her this.

 

What should i do? I am like at the end of my rope.

[Violet87]

First things first, for your bf to continue talking about his ex it doesn't sound like he's over her. Do you want to continue seeing him; if so then end the FWB (friends with benefits) and sit down and talk to him about where his feelings stand.

 

For your best friend not to mind her bf having fwb with other women, doesn't sound like they have much of relationship to begin with. However even if your friend doesn't mind her bf being having FWB, I wouldn't recommend going through with it. There's always a chance one of you could get emotionally attached, while the other doesn't and that could led to a messy situation. I don't know many people who would like having their best friends involved with their bf/gf. There's a chance she would feel betrayed and that could potentially damage your friendship with her.

[dancehead]

My gut reaction to reading your post is, FWB = Trouble. Friends with benefits is so F***ed up. It lets people do the most crazy things, ie sleeping around with exes behinf peoples backs, seeing more than one person and blah blah. All of these things would never be ok in a proper relationship and basically unless you have no love or any desire to ever be with the people you are having the FWB with there is no way people can't get hurt in the crossfire. Its sounds like a sorry situation to me and I would steer clear. I have had an awful FWB situation myself and I would never do it again. It doesn't sound like this guy of yours is over his ex and you are caught up in it.