She gets all the guys

[Angelica]

I'm in college, and my roommate from last year is one of my best friends in the world now. We are so much alike which is why we get along so well ... but it also means we usually like the same guys. She's beautiful (she's a model) ... most people say she's "hot" while I'm considered to be "cute". She's the tall, gorgeous, perfect bodied girl ... I'm the short, thin, blond haired blue eyed baby-faced one. We're both attractive (so I've heard many times), but guys usually see her as the sexy one they want to hook up with and they see me as their best friend they want to hang out with. The problem is that when we both like the same guy, she always ends up hooking up with him ... which pretty much blows my chances. I can name so many situations where we've both liked someone and she's gotten him. Like, there's this guy I've been talking about for weeks now, and me and her and him hung out tonight and she started telling me how hot he was and how much she wanted him. So I told her that if she ended up hooking up w/ him I wouldn't want to hear any details (we usually tell each other every detail of our hookups) b/c I'd be really jealous and she got really pissy and said something about me not being a real friend b/c I should be happy for her if she hooked up with him. Normally I would, but the fact that she didn't really even know him until tonight, and now she decides she wants him after she KNOWS I like him, it really bothers me. So what should I do? I'm sure I need to talk to her, but just the way she is she'll get like she was tonight and say I'm the bad friend and I should stop being so bitchy about it. Then I'll end up just backing down as usual and she'll get the guy ... again.

[Wiser Woman]

I hate to say it but if this is your best friend, who needs enemies! Your "sexy model" friend will no doubt always get any guy she wants - for a while. Is there anything to this person beyond her apparently obvious good looks? Does she have a brain or a heart? If she makes a habit out of going after every guy you express or show an interest in, I don't hold out much hope for your friendship. She needs to be told that you don't appreciate her getting interested and "wanting" guys YOU introduce her to whether she gets bitchy or not. Her attitude towards you when you try to express your feelings to her sounds rather defensive - she knows what she's doing is wrong and it's easier to put you on the defensive than to look at her own actions. She sounds pretty flaky and spoiled to me. How often does she get involved with a guy you were interested in and how long does the attraction last? It sounds like it lasts just long enough to upset you, dash your hopes and make her feel like she's got something really going for herself. I feel sorry for her and I feel sorry for you having to view her as your best friend. Best friends don't pull this kind of crap on each other. Sorry if sounds very harsh but I believe it's the reality of the situation.....

[Re: She gets all the guys]

Since she is so easy why not keep her away from the guys you really like. You may eventually end up loosing her as a friend, but think about it. She may be the kind of person who will steal a boyfriend or husband. I don't know her but where is she going to draw the line. If she takes a guy you really want to date she might take a guy you actually are dating. These guys also don't appear to be in it for the long haul so you may not be missing much. Good Luck.

I'm in college, and my roommate from last year is one of my best friends in the world now. We are so much alike which is why we get along so well ... but it also means we usually like the same guys. She's beautiful (she's a model) ... most people say she's "hot" while I'm considered to be "cute". She's the tall, gorgeous, perfect bodied girl ... I'm the short, thin, blond haired blue eyed baby-faced one. We're both attractive (so I've heard many times), but guys usually see her as the sexy one they want to hook up with and they see me as their best friend they want to hang out with. The problem is that when we both like the same guy, she always ends up hooking up with him ... which pretty much blows my chances. I can name so many situations where we've both liked someone and she's gotten him. Like, there's this guy I've been talking about for weeks now, and me and her and him hung out tonight and she started telling me how hot he was and how much she wanted him. So I told her that if she ended up hooking up w/ him I wouldn't want to hear any details (we usually tell each other every detail of our hookups) b/c I'd be really jealous and she got really pissy and said something about me not being a real friend b/c I should be happy for her if she hooked up with him. Normally I would, but the fact that she didn't really even know him until tonight, and now she decides she wants him after she KNOWS I like him, it really bothers me. So what should I do? I'm sure I need to talk to her, but just the way she is she'll get like she was tonight and say I'm the bad friend and I should stop being so bitchy about it. Then I'll end up just backing down as usual and she'll get the guy ... again.

[Totally Confused]

She gets them, but can she keep them? apparently not, because she's still single and looking.

 

coming from the othe side. i have the same problem with my best friend, who is one of my roommates. except it's the reverse. she feels i get all the guy and she's always telling me it pisses her off. she feels that i'm the pretty one and she's the cute one. she is cute, she's 5'3", chipmunk cheeks, blond hair and big brown eyes. i've known her for 11 yrs. and we've always had this problem, even in college. the only thing, that i would never do is go for a guy that she liked, which is not very cool of your friend, if she knows that you like this particular guy. she should be a friend and backoff. this girl knows your jealous and everytime you act jealous or catty toward her, she says to herself, she's just jealous. well let me tell you, things can change and yes, she can and will be jealous of you too. when i look in the mirror, i don't think i'm pretty at all. when your friend looks in the mirror, she doesn't think she is either. she doesn't see what all the big deal about her is. she only knows she's pretty, because so many people tell her she is. besides the grass is always greener on the other side. i get jealous of my best friend all the time. it's like sibling rivalry. i love her dearly, but sometimes i look and her and think, wow she looks really good tonight and i feel yucky. there will be days like that. and she will not always get the guy. haven't you ever looked at a guy who was just semi-cute and felt incredibly attracted to him? and then you look at a gorgeous, Brad Pitt, Harrison Ford guy and thought, he's gorgeous and i'd love to make-out with him, but i just don't feel that feeling like i do with the semi-cute guy. it's called chemistry. chemistry isn't about looks, it's about who the person is and how they make you feel. if looks were all, then no unattractive person anywhere would ever get a guy. looks are for attracting a person, not for keeping them. this guy you both like. let her have him. i bet she won't be able to keep him and if you stay friends with him, he may realize that there is more there with you. just strive to have the best personality. personality gets them in the end, just ask any guy. if a beautiful girl is biatcy, she becomes ugly. if an ugly girl is sweet, she becomes beautiful. it's not like you're a dog, so relax and be thankful you have what you have.

 

anyway, there is a nice ending to this story for you. my best friend is now dating someone, and i can't find a decent guy. oh sure, i get asked out all the time, but by losers. my best friend has been with her boyfriend for 6 months and they're still going strong. i hate her (just kidding).

[Cynthia]

Oh my Good Lord. Girl. Listen to me!!!

 

I had the same problem for a few months, except it was my best friend from like elementary school. I'd known her for 10 yrs and it had been that way all through high school and into college. I moved in with her In like December of last year, being that we were such good friends. At the time I was again dating one of her leftovers, a guy she'd dumped months before who still wanted to hang out with her so he dated me (so much the stupider I was).

 

Well, after a while I met this guy at a club...he was super-cute and sweet (I thought). We started hanging out and he started seeing me after I dumped Mr. Leftovers. Long story short she ended up sleeping with my boyfriend. She couldn't stand to have me have more attention than her, and she often treated my complaints prior to her betrayal about her interfering with my lovelife like your friend does. She would make me feel guilty, as if I were a bad friend.

 

In the end, she had this major self-esteem problem even though she was really pretty...and she had me as her best friend because I made her feel prettier and I could talk to guys comfortably and then she would move in and steal them after I introuced them to my "best friend."

 

Watch out. I ended up just breaking off relations with her and the guy I was dating entirely. I haven't seen them in months. Although she occassionally e-mails me I ignore them all. She was using me, and take my word for it...you're being used too!