Do feelings for someone else mean its over?

[CGrace44]

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years. But i have strong feelings for a coworker. Do feelings for someone else mean its over?

[Zeeboo Zebuloo]

I urge you not to get involved with a co-worker no matter what. Relations in the workplace can become VERY COMPLICATED if things don't work out...just ask anyone who's ever walked that plank. Hmmm, about those "feelings"? It's called attraction. Sure, everybody finds different people foxy from time to time-I think it's harmless as long as you don't act on it! The way I see it, the world is full of beautiful and interesting people...and it's okay to LOOK, but never EVER touch...and for God's sake don't think about it too much! Instead of believing "I am attracted to my co-worker!" try "These are the qualities I really like about my co-worker, I find those qualities so attractive & interesting!" And if you mention any of this to your boyfriend? EEEEeeeeeeeK! Not such a good idea...

[hooghie]

I would take it as a VERY STRONG warning sign that you need to rethink your relationship. THere is probably something missing there which is causing your strong attraction to someone else.

[Outcast]

There will always be 'something missing' in every relationship. Nobody's perfect but if you find one of the 'missing somethings' in someone else, you'll find other things 'missing' in the new person.

 

Being in a relationship does not inoculate you to the rest of the world. You don't cease to have eyes or a brain, nor do you become completely unable to appreciate other people. The point is that when you are committed to one person, you then stop going after every other attractive or nice or smart person you run into. It's like once you've bought a house, you don't then go buy another house with a bigger staircase the next week and then buy one with a wider entrance the week after that! You've bought your house, you stick with your house.

 

The problem is that you THINK the new guy is somehow better. But were you to live with him, you'd find his flaws and, more than likely, miss the things you like about your current guy.

[Mary3]

There will always be 'something missing' in every relationship. Nobody's perfect but if you find one of the 'missing somethings' in someone else, you'll find other things 'missing' in the new person.

 

Being in a relationship does not inoculate you to the rest of the world. You don't cease to have eyes or a brain, nor do you become completely unable to appreciate other people. The point is that when you are committed to one person, you then stop going after every other attractive or nice or smart person you run into. It's like once you've bought a house, you don't then go buy another house with a bigger staircase the next week and then buy one with a wider entrance the week after that! You've bought your house, you stick with your house.

 

The problem is that you THINK the new guy is somehow better. But were you to live with him, you'd find his flaws and, more than likely, miss the things you like about your current guy.

 

Excellent Advice !

[burning 4 revenge]

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years. But i have strong feelings for a coworker. Do feelings for someone else mean its over?

Are you already intimate with this co-worker?

[CGrace44]

No. We're not intimate. I've had feelings for him before I started dating my boyfriend. But recently they came back. We worked together lifeguarding at an adult party for people in our neighborhood one night and just talked the entire time about our futures (were only 18 and 19), our families, our friends. It was great. Then his mom (a little drunk at the time) whispered something into his ear and asked "Don't you agree?" He said he agreed. When his mom walked away I asked him what she said. He told me that she said that she thought I was very attractive. Since then all I have been thinking about is that he said that he agreed with her.