GuySimple Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 It was so much easier to let go of the relationship I had with my ex when I was in the throws of a legal battle. As we get along a bit better I find myself becoming attracted to her again. I expect it is physical as I don’t think we could ever live together again. Heck I don’t think I could every live with anyone again (no offence) but single life has been quite good. The books I have read all talk about moving in an out of the stages of “letting go” for years so I am not really surprised with my feelings. I expect this is normal as relationships stabilize. I even notice myself getting a little jealous about the possibly of her dating even though I have been in a relationship for 6-months. Even though having her find someone to make her happy would make my life easier in some ways. Does anyone have any advice on a practical way on how do deal with it? I expect it is kind of like an alcoholic who gets their life together and kind of forgets the really dark periods as he is looking at a nice bottle of wine. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 Well, I don't really get jealous of my ex with his new wife- but I am the one who wanted the divorce. Here's the thing- it's wierd. It may always be wierd. We are connected in ways beyond our kids- we were married 13 years. There are core beliefs that I have about him that will never change no matter what he's done to me post divorce. As I put it somewhere else. He's still the man who used to put socks on our kids feet inside their sleepers so their feet wouldn't get cold. I can remember that, will never forget it, and it will always make me feel warm towards him. But would I go back to him?? Hell to the no!!! I think what you're experiencing is normal, perfectly. I think you should not spend so much time closely in her physical presence until it's something you can handle. Just because you feel that way towards her I do not believe that you want to be married to her again. I think it's just remember what's good and letting the rest go. Our minds have the ability to be able to do that in some situations........ Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 I wish I had the answer GS. I wish I could be over him. I wish I could move on. I wish I could stop thinking about it. I'm just sooo thankful I dont have any kids with him. I dont think I could handle seeing him every week. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GuySimple Posted August 2, 2006 Author Share Posted August 2, 2006 The odd part is that I realistically can't see us being together again. There has been just too much said and done for that to happen. But it seems like whenever we are together there is still chemistry between us. It is too bad though. She has been very reluctant to spend any time with me which I can understand and I should be reluctant also. It does have a negative impact on my existing relationship. I find myself pushing away a fair bit mostly due to reluctance on my part to have another serious relationship. But I sometimes wonder if it is because I don't want to mess up the relationship with my ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 The day will soon arrive when you will ask yourself ~ "WTF, did I ever see in her??" Link to post Share on other sites
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