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SO jealous of single friends...


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ConfusedGal

Anyone feel this way?? I am 27, love my husband a lot, been married 4 years... I have recently been in touch with some friends from college who are still single.. One of my friends is moving to Australia "just cause she feels like it." Quitting her jon and going there to find a new one. Another friend moved to england. Another one lived in Boston, Chicago, London, and back to Chicago... And here I am. Still here. Living the "American Dream" but bored and depressed as hell. Went to school...First the bachelor's degree, then law school, then tests, then work and more work to pay off everything I spent on school. Now working to pay off the cars and the new place we are buying. There was SO much I wanted to do. And here I am in this f--kin routine. Same bull every day. Cant even take real vacations cause of my billable hour requirement at the firm. Crazy. Putting up with the same bull of living near my crazy mom. Trying to be enthusiastic for my husband who just got promoted and is really excited about buying our first place. But honestly, Im not so enthusiastic...Its like getting shoved into this dream I never had. My dream was to travel, see new places, do something DIFFERENT. Not just work to make money, buy things, invest, make more money, buy a house, then have kids. What the f--k. I am feeling so bummed. sometimes I hate my life. I know i know. The grass is always greener on the other side yada yada yada. Just need to vent.

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CG,

 

I really regret what you're going through. I hope you feel better soon.

 

Truthfully, I relate to what you're going through. In fact, I almost became you. Several years ago, I was preparing to go to law school, but after some deep soul-searching, I changed direction. I went to design school instead, to my parent's and my husband's family's disappointment. It was one of the best (and hardest) decisions of my life, but I'm glad I was finally true to myself. Also, at the time, I was going through a quarter-life crisis. When I started to be true to myself, my crisis began to lift.

 

Now, I'm content with my life.

 

Again, I hope you feel better soon.

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CG-

 

Your anxiety from your mom and that situation is manifesting itsself in ugly ways. I hope you're continuing counseling..........

 

Its so easy to get into the trap of if I do this I'll be happy. Then you do that and you're not happy. Because it's not what you need. This is about the hole inside you that needs to be filled with something and it never gets full.

 

I hope one day you understand what I'm talking about.......

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Perhaps you should consider a career change. That alone may help a lot. No reason you can`t start coming up with ideas that excite you. Just have the courage to act.

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Travelling and moving to countries is not all it's cracked up to be. I'll turn 27 in a few months and have been travelling since I'm 19. I finished my degree and studied in 3 different countries.

 

Imagine: your life in a suitcase. Travelling as I did didn't allow me to buy things but clothes. You always get charged huge amounts of money for renting a place with furniture, you always make new friends, but have no history with them. When I hear some of my friends - of 3 years - talk with friends they went to highschool or college with, my heart kinda bleeds.

 

I have a handful of friends that stuck by me every step of the way but I see them once a year when I pop up in my country. No one can laugh over the embarrasing things you did on your school dance, how drunk you got on your 18th birthday, the bad choice of men you made along your way, how depressed you got when boyfriend-x or boyfriend-y dumped you.

 

It's a trade off. I have no 'home' - my suitcase and dog are my belongings. F-ck, I live out of a suitcase. I have 2 boxes of books I never even unpacked. I'm so ready to settle down and have the home feeling of a family, people I can share things with.

 

I envy you :D

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here is a solution.

 

save some cash, quit your jobs and travel the world.

 

you are young, have no kids or major commitments (ie house)

 

Go for it... what are you waiting for. If you have kids and buy a house it will make it very hard.

take the plunge.

 

If your hubby doesnt think it is a good idea, save up for a four week trek around Europe together. By the time it is over your hubby will be BEGGING to quit your jobs and go travel.

Trust me!

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marriedwithtwo

Reminds me of the "wherethehellismatt" website. In case you've never seen, it;s the guy who quit his computer job to travel the world, and dances in short video clips wherever he goes.

 

It is thought provoking......

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superconductor
Reminds me of the "wherethehellismatt" website. In case you've never seen, it;s the guy who quit his computer job to travel the world, and dances in short video clips wherever he goes.

 

It is thought provoking......

I've seen that, it's pretty cool.

 

For the record, I'm a divorced male, and every single one of my married male friends - every single one - is jealous of my lifestyle. So what the OP writes about isn't anything new.

 

I can assure you, from this side of the fence, that in my particular case, the grass is definitely greener. Whether it would be that way for you or not isn't anything I can answer, but for me personally, I'm happier, healthier, my family ties are stronger, I have a better outlook on life and I don't have to deal with an irrational partner.

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here is a solution.

 

save some cash, quit your jobs and travel the world.

 

you are young, have no kids or major commitments (ie house)

 

Go for it... what are you waiting for. If you have kids and buy a house it will make it very hard.

take the plunge.

 

If your hubby doesnt think it is a good idea, save up for a four week trek around Europe together. By the time it is over your hubby will be BEGGING to quit your jobs and go travel.

Trust me!

 

I completely agree. You don't need to be stuck in that job at that firm for the next forty years. Both of you can afford to store your possessions and take off and travel for a while. You already have friends from the past and you'll make more while keeping your existing friends. And you'll still have 40 years to work at a steady job, have a house, be responsible, etc etc

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